


Bad Moon Rising

by CountessVonBeat



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Mystery, Original Character(s), Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:01:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 56,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28923267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CountessVonBeat/pseuds/CountessVonBeat
Summary: Hope you got your things together. V thought that Mikoshi, Silverhand and Arasaka would be the apex of his mercenary career. That he would be able to fade into obscurity with Panam and the Aldecaldos. He was wrong. There's a bad moon on the rise.
Relationships: Panam Palmer/Male V, Panam Palmer/V
Comments: 58
Kudos: 174





	1. Strawberry Fields Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Thank you for checking out my fic. This is a totally ignorable heads up about the fic.
> 
> If anyone has any questions, I consider myself friendly enough, feel free to send me any messages. I try to respond to everyone, but I can also be quite forgetful. I'm sorry in advance!
> 
> This fic is kind of a personal challenge for myself. It's the first I've ever posted, but its also one of the most convulted story lines I've ever attempted. I wanted to bring back as many characters as I could from the game, I wanted to touch on each lifepath and on every ending. 
> 
> I also want to warn everyone that this is not going to be a happy, love conquers all sort of story. 
> 
> If we are to consider this the sequel to CP2077, then think of it as the Empire Strikes Back. Which means I'll probably have to start another sequel ala Return of the Jedi eh?
> 
> So yeah, the sum of it is: be prepared for a long read, with lots of moving parts and an unambiguous ending.
> 
> Again, thank you so much for the support, comments and just for reading.
> 
> Much love,
> 
> CVB

_ It’s getting hard to be someone, but it all works out. It doesn’t matter much to me. _

The elevator doors swished closed and carried Misty and distraction away. V huffed quietly from his hunched position in the hard plastic chair overlooking the city. The air, he found, was no cleaner this high up then it had been at ground level. Oil, exhaust, chemicals and the savory smells of garlic and onion all wafted up even this high. Before him lay the luminous, colourful and hopeful facade that was Night City. A remarkable view, one he’d love to share with... He shook his head,  _ doesn’t matter _ , the view was deceiving and the city was draining. 

NC had birthed him, beat him, chewed him up and spit him out and now he sat staring at her guts, trying to decide how he was gonna let her finally finish him off.  _ Fuck. _

Who woulda thought? V, the merc who had been around forever and hadn’t even hit his 30s yet. Fixers across the city knew who he was, he had jobs lined up before he even returned from his venture in Atlanta, all he had to do was ask and he’d be directed to the best of the best. It had  _ always _ been that way. 

A punk kid born illegally to some fucked up, high up Militech corpo and his underaged, drug addicted doll. From the very beginning V was given to the streets, Militech giving his father the choice to exterminate or disappear the newborn and at his mothers request (or so he was told) the baby was allowed to live. But his story was well known, Rogue, Padre and Wakako kept their crews clear of the boy, no one wanted to fuck with the guy and then have him go cry to daddy, but neither did they befriend him because _ fuck _ corpos.

So V raised himself. By the time he was six he had figured out a way to hack the vending machines into dispensing a weeks worth of food at once (usually a dozen or so protein or soy pastes). Vik Vector let him start sleeping in the attic of his Ripper Den after the kid saved him from a group of scavs by setting off a grenade in the scavs inventory. The Joytoys on Jig-jig were bringing him their broken holos, computers and even cyberdecks to fix by the time he was eight and when he was twelve Padre gave him an apprenticeship at his garage. That little boy had never let anything stop him and the Fixers of NC had noticed.

At 14 his father came back. He thought he would swoop in and save V from the poverty he had been abandoned too and sculpt the perfect son and soldier. Alone and yet surrounded for 2 years, V was trained in physical combat, shooting and cyber warfare, he was subjected to cyberware installations and had brushes with cyberpsychosis. But V was quiet, angry and determined, he began sabotaging Militech Ops. within the city using information gained from his fathers computer. The damage to Militech had not been insignificant and an internal investigation had taken place. V had been shipped back to NC stripped of all implants. 

Padre, Pepe and Vik took him in, set him up and repaired what damage they could. Padre got him jobs and contacts, Pepe helped with finding him a place to stay and Vik replaced all his implants at no charge. A few months later he met a gangbanger named Jackie and the girl he was pining over, Misty. Nearly 10 years after that Jackie came to him with a job _that could finally put us on the map cabron._ _Legends._

Almost 20 years V had gone alone, no friends, just fixers and rippers. Then Jackie and Misty showed up and he finally had… People. A family of sorts. But Jackie was gone and Misty was drifting and it looked like after 10 years of having a family he would have to get used to being alone again. Until a literal fucking rockstar shacked up in his brain and a wild child queen in his heart. Johnny & Panam. Now, whether he wanted to or not he had to leave them.

One may be a little harder to do than the other, but surprisingly not by much. Johnny was a narcissistic asshole who was obsessed with his vendetta against Araska. But he had grown on V,  _ like a rash, _ his interjections, snide comments and even arguments had V questioning his decisions. Who were the heroes in this? Choom cared about people too, in his weird insultingly backhanded way. V trusted him enough to give him control of the ship and Johnny kept his word for the most part, new tattoos and hangovers aside. Even dragged Vs ass to Viks while he was flatlining. Leaving Johnny felt like he would be losing a part of himself. They were so entangled.

Panam though.  _ I think I woulda been more ok with this dying thing if it didn’t mean leaving her behind.  _ The Aldecaldos even. Panam had introduced him to a world where family actually meant something. Mitch, Saul, Carole, Cassidy, the other vets and even Taco had become regular contacts in his life, just as much as Panam. People who died for each other, who laughed and cried with each other, who could get angry and argue and still love each other regardless. Panam taught him sex was more then just physical pleasure but an emotional connection, that feelings shouldn’t be rushed and he taught her that sometimes impulses are worth following through. He thought of her face when he told her about the relic, the fear for him and the love, he remembered thinking that he never should have gotten involved with her. That he could have avoided hurting her like this if he had just stayed away. But he couldn’t.

The badlands called for him like no place ever had before, the cot in the tent he shared with Mitch had felt safer and more comforting than the bed in his own apartment (and the cot in Panams tent was even better). V had never been to a place where you could not hear anything but the wind and the occasional creak or howl. NC was noisy, even in Pacifica he can hear the advertisements blaringly out from Kabuki and Japantown. Those horrendously, hilarious Milfguard ads were unavoidable in the city no matter where you were, there were screens everywhere. There were no smells in the badlands either, except maybe the occasional whiff of roadkill or burning rubber. Vs apartment smells like death, old joytoy and regurgitated booze. The ‘caldos camp smelled of earth and rain and Panam. He let out a half laugh, half sob.

_ How pathetic  _ he thought to himself. Crying and shivering and reminiscing, meanwhile his brain was actively being turned into a puddle of goo.  _ Should be doing something! _ But his body is so tired, his heart ached something fierce, and his vision was beginning to blur entirely. He had mere hours left. 

Even then, sitting at deaths door, he only saw her.  _ Panam _ . His gaze shifted skyward, hoping to find some stars maybe the constellation she had pointed out to him once upon a time. Nothing. The city was far too bright for any stars to be seen. He found himself smiling thinking that she would hate this view. She would find it too bright, too loud, and too smelly just like the rest of the city. A true nomad. 

“You fuckin’ scared me ya know that? Thought you were on your way out.” His companion spoke from within his own head. The physical manifestation of the voice sat across from him seated on the roof edge, Johnny Silverhand. Even with the lines of code breaking his sight and his vision beginning to blacken in spots the concern on Silverhands face was clear. The rocker shifted on his perch looking mildly uncomfortable for a moment. “Forget the pills, forget Arasaka and forget me for a second V. Call anyone you need to call. Say your goodbyes.” V glanced at the older man.

“Worst case scenario, that what you except?” 

“No. But whatever you decide, the risk’s gonna be high.” Johnny acted unaffected and unbothered but after months sharing a brain Silverhand could no longer fool V. The rocker was anxious.

“I’m gonna call Panam.” He had spoken before he even realised his mouth was open.

“Just remember what I told ya kid, it’s her and her clans lives on your soul.” Johnny leaned further into his seat, looking off into the city to keep from looking at V.

“I’m not gonna put her in danger Johnny, I just want to hear her voice.” V sighed. “No one else dies for me. No one.” He looked straight at Johnny daring him to argue. The rocker frowned and turned back to the mercenary.

“Rogue could he-”

“No one Johnny!” V cut across whatever his friend was going to say. His chest was heaving and now he was all out glaring at Johnny. “We both had our time, we fucked up and we died. All of this is just extra time!” He threw his arms out to the sides loosely gesturing to everything. “Neither of us deserve this, but here we are. I’m not gonna have someone else die for time that I am not owed!” The dark haired man stared at V for a long moment before he nodded.

“Just call your Nomad Queen then V, then you become a legend.” He grunted approvingly at the kid. The merc just nodded and and pulled up his contacts, her name topped the list. The holo rang a little longer than he expected but she answered. Silverhand made himself scarce.

“Mm. Hey.” Her voice was scratchy with sleep, V found himself smiling and committing the sound to his memory.  _ Fuck _ he wanted to hear her sound like that every morning for the rest of his life.  _ Simp _ Johnnys teasing voice responded to his innermost thoughts.  _ Fuck off Johnny _ was his intellectual thought response. He focused back on the holo, he could hear rustling in the background. “Do you have any idea what time it is?” He actually didn’t, but a quick check told him it was well after 2AM. 

“Shit. Sorry, Panam. I didn’t mean to wake you.” He cussed. He hadn’t really taken the time into account of course she’d be sleeping. “I… I just needed to hear your voice.” His chest felt tight, his eyes began to water, and his throat began to swell. There was a very real possibility that this would be the last time he spoke to her, this fearless, genius, vulnerable, wild woman. “Do you know how...How much I hate… You are making this so hard… I was ready you know, had accepted it all and now.. With you I can’t.. Jesus” he was rambling and needed to stop, he forcefully cleared his throat. 

“What is happening? Are you drunk? Are you mad at me for something?” Now she sounded annoyed and a lot more awake.

“No… I just dunno if we’re gonna see each other again-” He croaked sadly.

“What?!” came her outraged reply “No, you know what? Fine! Fuck off!” Fear swept through him, she can’t hang up!

“No, no, no, no! Not like that!” God did he really sound that desperate, just then?  _ Yes, _ Johnny consciousness answered. 

“Then what? What is going on V?” Her volume had increased and her tone tinged with exasperation, a good friend of his.

“I-” he paused to gather his thoughts. Spilling his guts overs comms was not something he should be doing right now, _ just get to the point V _ . “There’s something I have to do. Big time.” he gulped. “High risk. Unavoidable.” 

“What is it?” She had gotten quiet, not a normal trait for Panam even half asleep. 

“It’s not for comms. Not really.” Goro had him tracked, it wouldn’t be beyond him to bug Vs phone and there was no way the merc was going to give Arasaka anything.

“Then shut up and tell me where you are.” There was a franticness to her voice now and more rustling in the background. “Are you in the city?” He hummed in affirmation. “Then stay there. I will be there soon, just wait for me. I’m on my way.” More rustling and voices now.

“Panam.”

“Send me the geoloc. Now.” A woman on a mission.

“Panam that’s just it.  _ I can’t wait. _ Not anymore.” He heard the sound of a car door slamming, but no engine started.

“This have something to do with before? When you damn near flatlined on me?” The way her voice cracked was what finally broke him. His head dropped and he let out two quick sobs before pulling himself together.

“I.. Uh.. I damn near did it again tonight. Johnny got me to the Rippers in time. But.. Panam, I… I’m dyin’.” He heard her take a stuttering breath. “Soon. An- And.. I just wanted to hear your voice one more time before I…”

“V.” Panam all but growled into the holo “Geoloc, now. Please.” she sounded angry but also pleading. He hears the engine start and rev a few times before going quiet again.

“I’m doing this Panam and I’m not risking you or your family.” He was tired, but his mind was made up. He knew exactly what his plan was.

“Our! Our family! Dammit V! So help me…” There was a pause, he could hear her trying to calm her breathing. “I am on my way to the city now. Just tell me where you are and we can do this together.” 

“I’m sorry, Panam. Talk later. Maybe.” He paused. Should he say it… They had only been together a short time and were they even ‘together’?  _ Might be your only chance choom,  _ Johnnys voice warned him.  _ Gonna be eating a lot of bullets soon enough, may as well bite one too. _ “I love you.” He hung up and turned off the holo. No more calls.

“So, we just gonna walk up Arasakas front steps and start blasting?” Johnny smirked, flashing into existence once again, this time leaning against the edge of the roof his arms crossed over his chest.

“That’s about it. But I wanna shower first. Blaze o’ glory, smelling like posies.” V grunted as he pushed himself to standing and tossed the Silverhand suppressant pills over the edge of the roof. He pocketed the gun “Should stock up too.”

“Should jack off too, one last time, you know just in case.” The rocker nodded wisely as V walked passed him toward the elevator.

“You’re a fucking perv Johnny.” V punched in the call key, waiting for the elevator to ascend and get him away from the old man.

“Best hurry too, especially if you don't want your girl to catch you with your pants down.” he advised ignoring Vs venom.

“I know.” V entered the elevator and keyed in the ground floor. He wanted to slip out without Misty or Vik knowing, but that’ll be difficult. 

“Blaze of glory. Smellin’ o’ posies. Pfft.” Johnny mocked, couldn’t help himself. “Blaze o’ glory, smellin’ like pussy!” He stuck his tongue out at the younger merc.

“Shut the fuck up Johnny.” V groaned. “Fucking disgusting.” 

_ Nothing is real. And nothing to get hung about. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SONG: Strawberries Fields Forever - the Beatles


	2. What is Life?

_ What I feel I can’t say, but my love is there for you anytime of day.  _

Pushing 190mph on these roads tended to lead to fatal accidents for most Aldecaldos, but Panam had been driving them for years and she had no damn time to deal with fatal accidents. God,  _ the heart wants what the heart wants  _ Mitch had warned her, and her heart wanted a  _ gonk ass city boy _ . When she got her hands on him Panam didn’t know if she was going to kill him or kiss him. Why didn’t he tell her his condition had deteriorated so horribly!?

“I’m doin’ this Panam and I’m not risking you or your family.” She quickly navigated a hairpin turn, feeling her blood pressure go up another few notches. How could he say that? How could he even think it? She knew all about the ambush to get the kidney, or how he had prevented a bloodbath when Cassidy and Carole had to go deal with the inner city scavvers, or the individual Aldecaldos he had rescued and safely delivered home. The ‘caldos had become his family somewhere along the way and she knew if he asked they would have answered. 

"Our! Our family!" She cried desperately into the holo, distantly she acknowledged she was getting calls from Saul and Mitch while she fiercely tried to keep V from his suicide run. "Dammit V! So help me.." Another sharp right, followed by an easy left and another right. Her Thorton squealed it’s protest, the vehicle not made to take corners the way Panam was currently taking them. She cleared the high ridges that provided protection for the camp, Night City was a clear shot from her now. Even if it was still a few hours of driving. She took a breath, and tried again.

"I am on my way to the city now. Just tell me where you are and we can do this together." She held her breath and waited for his response.  _ Please V.  _ He sighed.  _ No. No. No.  _ “Listen to me V.. Please don’t do this. Let us help you!”

“I’m sorry Panam. Talk later. Maybe. I love you.” Then he was gone.

“Fuck!” she cursed out loud. Pressing even harder on the gas and calling him again. The call went straight to voicemail. “You fucking GONK asshole!” The nomad punched her steering wheel and sniffed away angry, fearful, hurt tears. “Come on baby, just a little faster!” she urged her Thorton. She called again and again and again and again. Nothing. For nearly an hour flying down the highway she attempted to get V back onto the holo only giving up with an angry huff when she passed by Dakotas old station.

Meanwhile her holo had not stopped ringing since she had stormed out of her tent and hopped in the car. Mitch, Saul and Carol seemed to be alternating calling her and messaging, with Cassidy, Bobby and Teddy also sending a few messages. All of which say some variation of  _ what the fuck is going on girl?  _ She answered the next incoming call, not even paying attention to who it was.

“What the  _ fuck _ Panam!?” Oh great, so it was Saul then. “Get offa me Mitch! Where the hell did you just go?! You can’t just take off like that! It's the middle of the night and you’re lit up like a fucking flare! If the raffens...” He was still going but Panam had stopped listening, she was plotting the fastest route to Vs apartment in her head. If he wasn’t there she’d go to the Afterlife, Rogue had to know something, V had told her about the older Fixers relationship with Johnny. If anyone knew what ridiculous thing the rocker had talked her merc into it would be Rogue. “Well?!”

“Oh you’re done?” She quipped back sarcastically. The city was getting closer but it was still an hour off at least.  _ Shit. _

“Panam” Saul sounded extremely put upon. “What the  _ fuck  _ is going on?”

“It’s V. He needs help.” she answered quietly, not knowing how Saul would react. For whatever reason, her leader turned enemy turned partner, just did  **not** like V. He was never outspoken about the dislike and he honoured his word about standing with V when the time came (mostly), but Saul tended to leave a room or conversation if V entered it. She heard him sigh and then the gentle click of a disconnected call. A shocked gasp escaped her, V was family, did Saul really just turn his back on family, on her? Panam clenched her teeth and slowly let out a breath through her nose, she turned her focus to the road.  _ One thing at a time. _

**_Let us know if we can help Panam, we owe V our lives._ ** Carols message came only a moment later. Another call came through almost immediately after that.

“What Mitch?” 

“I don’t know what’s going on. Saul just marched off yelling about gonk city kids getting us killed.” To his credit, Mitch did genuinely sound very confused. “I take it this has got something to do with your lover boy.”

“Not now Mitch.” She had finally reached the city, now she just had to navigate the streets to his apartment.  _ Please be there. _ Her tone must have given away her state.

“This have something to do with his heart? How he dropped on us a few weeks ago? It's not like you to take off in the middle of the night for a booty call. At least not with enough noise to wake the whole camp.” The older vet, her surrogate big brother, joked quietly.

“It’s his brain Mitch.” she croaked in answer. “There’s a chip in his brain and it’s killing him.”

“Shit.” A pause. “That why you took off like a bat out of hell?”

“He called me.”

“For help?” He pressed.

“No.”

“Panam. I’m about to head into the city after you. Just tell me where you’re going. I’ll meet you there. We can help V together, Carol and Taco volunteer to come too.” He begged.

“He called to say goodbye Mitch. He just…” Before V there had been Scorpion, and while their relationship had been fun and meaningful, it hadn’t had the depth that her relationship with V did. Scorpion and Panam had learned at a young age to play their cards close to their chests, betrayal all too common in a nomads life, whether by clients or family(oddly enough). So the future, feelings, the things they wanted from life or each other were never discussed. A lack of communication had been what had broken down hers and Scorps relationship, they were both guilty of it. V, he had nothing to lose and everything to gain by throwing all his cards on the table, the merc had told her so himself.  _ Trust me Princess, there ain’t nothing you can do or say that’ll be any worse than what Night City and life in general has done to me. _

For someone whose life had been nothing but strife and hardship, he loved so freely and so fully. He hated to see pain of any sort, even gaining a reputation for not wasting lead, preferring to quietly incapacitate his enemies over killing them. She’d seen him buy out entire food vendors and then just leave the hot fresh food out for the local street rats or starving joytoys. Not to say that he hadn’t killed or hurt people, there were several former scavver haunts that really were haunted now thanks to him. V, was a person that didn’t do anything by halves, and in as little as 6 months he had turned Panams world upside down.

“Goodbye? Like a… Permanent goodbye?” She could practically hear the furrow in his brow. She gulped.

“Yes. And now his holo is off.” she was pulling up to his building now. It was time to stuff all those messy emotions into a box and deal with them later, she had things to do. First up, finding that stupid asshole.

“Aw, kid. Where are you? Maybe we can find him if we split up?” Mitch sympathized. 

“I just got to his apartment in the city.”

“Already!?”

“If he’s not here, then I’m gonna make for The Afterlife. You know, the bar? Rogue may know something, I intend to find out.” Panam exited the vehicle and hurried through the lower markets to find the elevator that would bring her to Vs floor.

“Fine by me. Should we meet you there?”

“No. Honestly Mitch I don’t think there’s much anyone else can do. Just help Saul get the camp ready to pack up, keep the panzer running, I have a feeling no matter which way this goes that the Aldecaldos are gonna end up with a target on our backs.” Successfully finding the ascending room, the nomad punched in Vs floor and leaned back against a wall trying to ignore the obnoxiously loud, constantly  _ BREAKING NEWS  _ blaring out from the advert screens.

“Okay. I really need a full story here. What the fuck has V got himself into?”

“The long and short answer is: Arasaka.” She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“What?” The Unification War Veteran asked lamely. “I’m gonna need you to expand on that.”

“Mitch I don’t even know the full story.” Her elevator had arrived, she slipped out onto the busy floor and pushed her way through a crowd gathered in front of the, yet more, advert screens. “Something about a gig at Arasaka that went wrong and now he’s dying because -”

“Carols calling me kid, something just came up on the comms.” Mitch interrupted distractedly.

“Okay, keep me posted, any changes I want to know.”

“You too, sister, please be safe.”  _ Click. _

His apartment wasn’t far now and he had her BioSig added to his security system sometime after Sauls rescue, so breaking in wouldn’t be necessary at least. He had better be in there just so she could smack his stupid gonk head right of his shoulders for scaring her so badly.

Upon entering Panam realised the apartment was still occupied, for a moment she had been flooded with a near overwhelming relief, then a blonde woman in an oversized sweater poked her head out of Vs armory.  _ What the fuc- _

“It’s you!” the stranger cried.

“Wha-? Who the hell are you?” Panam asked, thoroughly thrown off guard. The other woman smiled at her sadly.

“I’m Misty. A friend of Vs.” Misty floated into the living area and draped herself onto the couch. “If you’re looking for V, you missed him by a few hours.”

“Where did he go?” She would definitely have to have a talk with him about having strange women in his apartment.

“Dunno.” The blonde answered. “To finish things, no doubt.” So this blonde chica knew stuff.

“With Arasaka?”

“Probably. Johnny, Yorinobu, Saburo, Alt, Arasaka. One big cluster fuck stuck in the poor guys head.” Misty’s voice had taken on a hoarse quality, she was fighting tears. Panam gritted her teeth, this was not what she expected.

“Where?” She asked again. 

“He tried to sneak out, ya know. Like I haven’t known him since we were teenagers. He’s so predictable.” Misty had turned to laying on her back across his couch, her legs dangling off the edge. “I caught him of course, he let me do a tarot reading before he disappeared.” The nomad was thoroughly confused now, what was happening here? Tarot?

“The Fool, The Chariot, The Lovers and The Sun.” Misty was smiling while she stared at the ceiling. “A journey, a partner and a success.” The willowy women sat up suddenly, her eyes piercing into Panams.”I’m glad he found you.”

“Ummm. I… What? A Chariot?” Panam stared at this woman like she had fallen out of another dimension, nothing the blonde said had made any sense. If anyone here was a fool she felt like it may be Panam herself _. _ Before she could string together an intelligent reply her holo chimed indicating an awaiting message. “Give me a moment.” She told Misty before turning away. The other woman smiled and lay back down.

**_TURN ON THE NCN!_ ** It was Bobby. 

“What?” she asked aloud. 

“What?” Misty answered.

“The News. Nightcity News…” Absently Panam turned to the Television V had and motioned for Misty to turn it on. Surprised, Misty did as she was bid.

“... burning. I repeat the Arasaka Tower is burning. Good evening Nightcity, what a turn of events for the Araska Corporation. From high highs last year to the lowest lows this year. 2077 has been especially hard on the Japanese based Corp. Starting with the murder Saburo Araska earlier this year, the plunging of stocks prices, the brewing anamosity with Militech, the disasterous parade last week that resulted in the kidnapping of Hanako Arasaka and now what looks like a rogue AI attack. Authorities are unable to enter the building at this time, as all security systems seem to be inaccessible.. Reports coming in are unconfirmed but are saying that the Rogue AI is coming out of Araskas own Mikoshi project. Stay safe out there Night City, we will be back with an update soon. Up next, what is going on with Lizzy Wizzy?” 

Panam found herself unable to look away from the onscreen carnage. The corporate building looked like it had been bombed. Windows had been blown out, jets of flame could be seen roaring out for within, there were bodies thrown about everywhere. Drones were hovering in front of the building and patrolling the burning hallways within, shots and screams followed their paths. A warzone in the middle of Night City.

“Oh god.”

“Holy shit.”

Both women ended up on the couch, side-by-side, glued to the status updates on Arasaka Tower. For hours the assault on Arasaka played out, Misty and Panam were both fielding calls and trying to keep themselves as informed as possible. It became clear to nomadic mechanic that V had an impressively large social network in Night City and this she could use to their advantage. He would need to leave the Tower somehow, if he got what he needed to, and the front door was certainly not an option. She needed to contact someone in order to help her cover the possible exits and get him out of there before anyone else found him. She pulled up her holo.

“Rogue.”

_ But if it’s not love that you need, then I’ll try my best to make everything succeed. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SONG: What is Life? -George Harrison


	3. Hurricane

_ Here comes the story of the hurricane, the man the authorities came to blame. _

“V, you fucking gonk.” He cursed tiredly. His mood matching the overcast weather, the sky rumbled ominously along with his thoughts.

River Ward, former NCPD Detective turned PI, had been sent the scant details about what exactly was going on by the Queen of the Afterlife, Rogue Amendiares, herself. Vs job was to take out some sort of virtual prison called Mikoshi by releasing an AI into Arasaka (at least that’s how he understood it). The older Fixer explained that V would need an extraction, but they weren’t sure from where yet. 

She sent him some, no doubt illegally obtained, blueprints with areas throughout the city highlighted to show multiple drainage pipes connecting Arasaka to it’s fringe buildings on the city outskirts and even the Badlands. These are where he would be expected to patrol and pick up the mercenary when/if he made an appearance. Now River owed V more than he could ever hope to pay back, so a quick getaway job was the least he could possibly do. Except that hadn’t been the gig.

V was  _ missing _ . The chaos at Arasaka Tower was quieted 3 days after it started, and the netrunner had yet to make himself known to anyone. So the former badge hopped onto his old police scanner and started listening to the Arasaka chatter. According to what River could gather about V, the dumb merc had literally stormed up the front doors and started firing. 

V was a talented Solo and he was far from unskilled with a weapon, his mastery of the monowire had left River in quiet awe, but  _ storming Arasaka Tower  _ was literally the  _ dumbest shit  _ a person could do. Even so, he managed to get into the Mikoshi server room and…. That was it. V and any knowledge of him falls off the map. Most of the NCPD on chatter believe he was killed releasing the AI. Rogue reassured him that that wasn’t the case.

Seems the Arasaka was being pretty tight lipped on what was happening, not even visits from “government officials” were fruitful. There were talks of this being an international incident. Unfortunately the once towering Japanese empire was being picked apart and sold at a rate that could not be legal. Absolute Corpo carnage. It was very unlike the V he had come to know.

The merc he had worked with was methodical, deliberate and thorough. A spectacle was not his style, V had expressed a surprising disdain for unnecessary death, preferring to incapacitate his enemies so they could  _ think about what they’ve done _ . V loved being able to do an entire job and have no one know he was even there,  _ I’ve gone my whole life being invisible choomba, now it's a talent I can exploit. _ But in all the time he had known the mercenary never once had V expressed any contempt for any of the corps, not openly at least, there would be a snide comment here or there but anyone from the city was like that. 

V had talked about his old friend Jackie, how it had been Jackies goal to get the pair of them to Legendary status.  _ Like Silverhand y Smasher ese! _ He had poorly imitated. River laughed and asked the younger man if he had wanted to be a legend. He was surprised by the contemplative expression that crossed Vs face.  _ I wanted what Jackie wanted. _ The PI scoffed in response, his opinions on the so-called ‘legends’ were not very high. “Legends'' of NC were agents of chaos, unhappy with their lot in life so they decided to take everyone out with them. 

Johnny Silverhand was the perfect example. Shitty, narcissistic rocker who didn’t like the corps, so he put a _ fucking nuke _ in a building full of people and blew it up.  _ Fuck  _ that guy and  _ fuck _ V for putting the entire population of Night City in danger for a paycheck and some noteriety. 

The former cop sighed as he pulled his truck alongside the Arasaka building in Arroyo. According to Rogue and her “informants” there were tunnels on either the east or west side construction sites next to the building. These tunnels, according to the stolen schematics, were connected directly to the below ground Arasaka Server rooms that V was supposedly inside of. They were used primarily to circulate coolant through the server rooms for temperature control. She suspects that if V got to Mikoshi he would have had to immerse himself in the coolant.

“His best chance to survive would be to be flushed with the rest of the water before security managed to muscle their way back into the building. Alt would have known that that was going to be the path of least resistance. Thing is… There are a lot of possible outcomes to this thing. His nomad pals have got the Badlands covered, they also have a two person team in the city, You will focus primarily on Santo Domingo.” She had instructed.

“What about you?” He asked.

“I’m doing my part. Keep me posted. Good luck.”

Now here he was 5 days later and still no V or any additional info. River felt like he was missing a very large chunk of the story. 

“I want an explanation when this is all over.” He grumbled to himself as he scaled the fence and snuck into the unoccupied construction site. “I deserve it. And an expensive bottle of Whiskey.” He had checked this site a couple days back, but figured it couldn’t hurt to look again. There was a large pit left of centre in the middle of the unfinished building, likely to be an elevator shaft. The walls of the shaft were made of 6 inch thick reinforced concrete and only extended downward about 3 feet into a small crawl space.

A crawl space that was already smaller than it had been just days ago. The recent downpour had filled the space with a thick, soupy mud.  _ Great. _ He gave a great heaving sigh then removed his coat and boots and set them to the side of the muddy pit, no need to lose or mess them up. Carefully he lowered himself into the crawlspace. His last visit, he had found three large but empty pipes, he wasn’t going to hold his breath and expect any changes this time.

The mud was like quicksand, sucking his feet and legs up to his shins into the goop and only giving with a nasty sound  _ slourp _ when he managed to yank his foot free. River groaned,  _ make that 2 expensive bottles of whiskey _ . He stomped away from the first empty pipe keeping crouched painfully in order to fit into the room. His chest was slick with mud and he was already exhausted and drenched in sweat by the time he reached the second pipe.

“I thought...heard self-righteous... clomping” a weak, amused voice whispered from within.

“I do not clomp!” River responded, remembering an argument he had with V after a gig (he had stumbled into some junk and gave away their position), before doing a double take. “V! What the fuck man!?” Immediately the former cop reached into the pipe and attempted to grab the smaller man inside.

“Too… Stuck. Fug’in mud.” Vs breathing was shallow, quiet and sounded like it took quite a bit of effort just to get the words out. “Need.. Rest.” River shoved his head into the pipe trying to get a better view of the man inside but he was right, even half way into the stupid thing River couldn’t make out Vs silhoutte at all. He quickly extracted himself and stumbled back to his jacket. He grabbed a flashlight from one of his many pockets and climbed back into the shaft. Torch in hand, or mouth rather, he dove back into the pipe.

If it weren’t for the raspy, wheezing sounds V made as he breathed River would assume he was looking at a dead body. The merc had one arm stretched out in front of him while the other was twisted behind his back, he was turned so that he faced the “ceiling” of the tube, positioned 11 o’clock the old school coppers would say. Probably to keep himself from drowning in the rain water and mud from the last few days. The pipe was an extremely tight fit, had he been slowly squirming his way down with only one arm? And now it was ⅓ filled with mud. He would need to be dug out, quickly.

“Jesus V.” The PI cursed quietly. “Stay there, I’m getting help.”

“Not…. Going…. A-…. Where.” The twisted body sighed in response. “So…. Sleep…” His head lolled back weightlessly before jerking forward again. A pained groan escaped the merc.

“Shit V! Don’t fall asleep!” A sense of urgency filled River, he quickly pulled up his holo and called Rogue while he all but ran back to his truck. He had a spade in the truck, some rope, maybe the first aid kit too. The sky let loose a monstrous roar and the first cool raindrops began to lightly fall on his too hot skin. “Fuck!”

“Ward. Any news?”

“I got him! Arroyo! He’s stuck in a drainage pipe and he is going to drown if we don’t get him out  _ now _ !”

“Where? I need details Ward!”

“The Arasaka building in Arroyo! West side, construction site, inside the elevator shaft. It’s filling with mud and water and the pipe he’s in is already full of mud.” Shoeless River made his way back into the construction site. “I have a spade and some rope, I’m gonna try digging him out, but I have no leverage to lift him out!” He leapt into the shaft, landing heavily on his feet only to slip and land hard on his shoulder.

“Is he conscious?” 

“Argh. Negative. Dead weight and dying.” He gasped painfully as he righted himself and scrambled to Vs pipe. He heard her curse quietly through the line. “V?” No response. “V! Come on buddy, we’re gonna get ya outta here.” He started digging.

“Reinforcements are on route. ETA 2 minutes.”

“Tell them to go faster!” He hollered, disconnecting the call. The rain was beginning to fall in earnest now and River was making less and less progress. For each scoop of sludge he got away a torrent of muddy water took its place. But he managed to get enough out of the way that he could reach inside and loop the rope under the armpit of Vs twisted arm, hoping to pull the guy out in one complete piece. He proceeded to loop and knot the rope in any which way he could with no vision. “Ok.”

He turned from the pipe, the water level was now at Vs shoulders, seconds, he had seconds. The PI struggled to the shaft opening and pulled himself up, hoping to find some purchase to be able to pull V from his watery prison. A flash of lightning streaked above him, an earth shaking rumble followed soon after. River threw the rope over a metal support bar in order to make a simple pulley system, to help get more leverage to get V out.  _ Pull _ ! He braced the rope against his shoulder and leaned forward attempting to take a few steps, the rope pulled taunt but didn’t give an inch.

“Come on! ARGH!” He grunted and cried out as he pulled with all his strength. But the rope was now slick with water and the crawl space was beginning to turn into a miniature pond. V was definitely underwater. “Fuck! Let’s Go!” another flash out of the corner of his eye, but no thunder followed, just the crashing of the construction site fence. A large Thorton Mackinaw pulled up as close to the unfinished building as it could get. The driver side door flew open and a woman rushed toward him. “He’s under the water! Hurry!” he cried.

The woman didn’t falter in her step, she grabbed the rope from him and ran back to the truck. Exhausted and breathing hard, River dropped to his knees and watched as she attached the rope to a small motor on the top of the vehicle. 

“The hoist Mitch! Now!” she ordered.

The rope started to coil and pull taunt, the motor gave a high pitched whine as it encountered greater resistance. The woman ran back to the entrance to the shaft, tugging on the rope hoping to dislodge whatever was causing the resistance. She was a nomad River noted, wearing the leather jacket that proudly proclaimed her loyalty to the Aldecaldo clan. He wondered if this was the woman V had gushed about on the water tower just a few months ago. The Aldecaldos and their camp had been taking up a lot of the young mans time,  _ even had a bunk there  _ he had excitedly told River the last they spoke.

“Look out! The rope!” He warned. It was fraying. The sharp edge of the steel beam cutting through the thick fibers. The Aldecaldo ignored him, concentrating on getting the rope unstuck inside the unfinished building. The former badge struggled to his shoeless, bleeding feet and moved to help her.

“There!” A loud slurping sound interrupted his actions, the hoist stopped squealing and began spinning once more. Vs head emerged from the muddy pool below followed by the rest of him in quick succession. “Stop Mitch!” She ran toward the mercenary, cradling his body gently, and ordered River up. “Here! Help me get him down. I don’t think he’s breathing!”

Quickly River forced himself to his feet and toward the couple. He grabbed hold of V and tried to lift him in an attempt to give the rope around the smaller man some slack. The nomad quickly unweaved the webbing around V, allowing the detective to lower him to the ground. Focused as a laser, her fingers immediately went to the pulse on his neck while her eyes roamed his face and body for any wounds. 

“Shit! No! You don’t get to do this V.” Desperately she turned back to her truck. “Mitch!” Then she turned her attention to River once more. “You, help me get this stupid jacket off him!” They set to work rolling him and tugging fabric this way and that until he was in only a tank top. A second nomad ran up to join them, he carried a first aid and AED kit with him. He was filled head to toe with military grade cyberware, definitely a veteran.

“Pulse?” He asked the woman. She shook her head in the negative. “Compressions. Now.” Not needing to be told twice she moved to straddle the solo, placing her hands in the center of his chest and pumping hard. “30, Panam. You, big guy, while Panam catches her breath and I do his breathing you’re going to rip his shirt wide fucking open. Here.” He threw a towel from inside the kit at River. “Dry his chest and stick these two leads onto his chest. Quick.”

“24, 25, 26…” The woman counted aloud beside him. The two men exchanged a nod, River pulled a switch blade from his pocket, wanting to make this as quick as possible. “..29, 30. Do it now!” Mitch placed a device on Vs face and tilted his head upward, slowly he leaned over the netrunner and blew into the device, filling his lungs with much needed air. Once, twice. Meanwhile River had ripped open the tank top and haphazardly tried to dry Vs chest in the rain and Panam climbed off his lap. He quickly slapped the leads to his chest.

“Clear! Nobody touch him!” The soldier ordered. The group waited in dead silence for the AED to light up with any information, none of them were breathing.  _ Beep beep. _ “Clear! It’s gonna…” 

_ Zap! _

A shocked gasp sounded loudly from the unconscious man, he began to violently cough and gasp. Panam was by his side in the next instant as his coughing turned to vomiting. River collapsed onto his ass, his head slumped and an exhaustion he had never known settled on his shoulders. Mitch had already stood and began to gather their things and toss them back into their respective vehicles, he was also on his holo with someone.

“It’s alright V.” She soothed. Her hand caressing Vs naked back as he took shuddering panicked breaths. “Slowly V.” She kept her voice low and calm, belaying the clear anxiety in her eyes. He attempted to follow her instructions. “That’s it, just like that. You’re ok. I’ve got you.” He sighed and once more fell into unconsciousness. 

“What’s his status?” Mitch had returned.

“He’s alive.” Panam answered, pulling him close for a moment. “His pulse is weak and he’s very cold, looks like he’s losing blood too.” Mitch offered a MaxDoc which she stabbed into the mercs chest. 

“That should hold him for a while. The bleeding looks superficial at least.” The soldier said as he bandaged up the mercenary.

“He needs out of these wet clothes, I'm more worried about hypothermia right now. Mitch come help me get him to the Thorton! He needs a ripper.” 

The detective leaped to help him. 

“Rogues safe house, it’s close and it's his best chance.” He offered.

“Who are you?” her brown eyes were as piercing as any corpo with state of the art kiroshi optics. 

“My name is River.” He admitted. “V, helped me rescue my nephew, he saved my family. I owed him one, well probably more then one. Rogue called and told me he needed help. So I came to help.” 

“I don’t trust Rogue.” She grumbled, but also nodded her hesitant agreement.

“The safe house. It’s not far from here and my sisters place isn’t far from there.” River repeated.

“That could put you and your family in danger.” Panam answered, an eyebrow raised. He waved away her concern and turned back toward V. She directed them toward her Thorton and threw open the doors to the back seat.

“V and I are only loosely associated. The place is far enough away that it’s not ‘within’ the community. My sister and her kids will be fine. Besides I’m a former cop, Arasaka doesn’t want anything to do with us blues at the mo’.” He replied easily. “Better hurry though and take different routes, I’ll send you the detes. I’ll grab the ripper while you head to the safe house. Work for you?”

Now face-to-face with her he could see what V meant when he said she was as fierce as Hera, beautiful as Aphrodite, and as dedicated as Artemis. He remembered being surprised at the netrunners knowledge in mythology. The merc has told him he had had to learn about goddesses because  _ Johnny  _ had called her one. River had rolled his eyes and told him his jealousy was obvious, he should be waxing this poetry to her and not River. V had turned fearful and said she would sooner punch him in the nuts than listen to poetry.

With a goofy smile on his face, V had sat on the edge of the water tower and told him about her.  _ Panam _ . All work, no play is how he described her, but his smile had been mischievous. She was a woman on a mission and what a woman. The infamous solo had been too right. River took in her disheveled appearance, there were large dark circles around her eyes, she hadn’t been sleeping and her companions' concern and hovering led him to believe she probably hadn’t stopped looking for V since this mess started. Looked like she was in a deep as V was.

River had laughed and told the netrunner he was clearly head over heels from this girl, that he should just go for it, maybe his sister was right and V would be a daddy before he knew it. V had laughed hysterically at that nearly tipping over and falling off the tower, but he sobered up almost immediately, saying he didn’t think that would be in the cards for him. River had asked him what was and V had smiled sadly and answered  _ a blaze o’ glory. _

“Yes. Put him in the back. Mitch you driv-” She was unable to finish her orders as they were suddenly descended upon by a group of Arasaka drones. “Fuck!” The drone let loose a barrage of bullets. River threw himself under the vehicle while Mitch jumped into the passenger side and Panam used the door and her body to cover V. Moments later the turret atop the Thorton burst to life, spraying bullets and destroying a drone before it could react. 

“Panam!” Mitch called warily from the front seat “What’s the plan?”

“You, River, get in your truck and get away. We need that ripper!” She peaked around the door and let off a few shots from her personal pistol. 

“What about you?!” he shouted back.

“We’ll be fine!” she answered.

“Panam!” Mitch squawked.

“Oh for fuck sakes!” The woman disappeared into the backseat for a moment, emerging a moment later with Vs phone. “I just called Vs car, _ I  _ will take it with V to the safe house. Mitch, because they know my car  _ you  _ are gonna try to lead the drones away, if necessary take Carol up on her ambush idea at Rocky Ridge. In fact, message her now, just so they’re ready. River you are gonna lose any tails you gain and pick up the Ripper. We’ll meet you at the safe house. Alright?” 

River didn’t like it, but nodded. Mitch yelled his agreement from the front seat as he grunted his way from the passenger seat to the drivers. His truck wasn’t far but the PI was going to need some sort of cover if he wanted to make it to the vehicle alive. A high pitched whistling sounds from above his head, the group all looked skyward, a large black AV was hovering overhead letting loose a barrage of high caliber rounds into the air surrounding the drones.

“Perhaps I may be of assistance.” A Delamain AV!? For a moment the group could only stare as the AV lowered itself to allow entry inside. “Mr. V would be best suited for escape with me, yes?”

“Like hell!” Panam growled in response. 

“Care to join us Ms. Palmer? We are reconvening with Ms. Amendiares at a previously disclosed location. Best we move post haste, Arasaka will return soon.” The detective shared a dubious look with the smuggler before shrugging and asking if they had better options.

“No. But I will be going with him.” she confirmed.

“Of course ma’am.” The everso polite AI responded. 

“Can you get him into the AV? I’m gonna give Mitch the new plan.” Then nomad wandered around the AV to her truck using her hands to shield herself from the super heated air being emitted by the flying vehicle.

River hefted the solo onto his shoulders in a fireman's carry and attempted to carefully place V into a seat within the AV, but still ended up plopping him down. V groaned. 

“Careful!” Panam scolded as she came back around. “Move, I’ll strap him in. Mitch!” She shoved him aside.

“I got you River!” Mitch informed him from inside the car. Motioning for the other man to move along “They’re regrouping, hurry up and you can peel outta here before they notice.” The detective decided to waste no time and took off for his truck, starting the vehicle before he was even fully inside. He sent one last glance to the nomads. Mitch was reversing the truck out of the site and Panam had just slammed the AV door closed.

“See you soon.” he saluted the pair and stomped on the gas pedal. Behind him the construction site filled with a bright blue light as the AV lifted itself higher into the air and jetted southward. He directed his truck toward the highway exit, keeping an eye out for any stalkers he may have, and called Rogue.

“What’s the situation?” she answered.

“He’s out and on his way to the safe house with a Delamain AV and one of the nomads. He was in rough shape.” The exhausted man explained. “Do you have a Ripper ava-”

“Misty’s Esoterica in Watson. But don’t worry, I’ll get the ripper. I need you to pick something else up.”

“I’d really rather take a nap.”

“Don’t care. I’ll send you the detes officer.”  _ Click _ .

“Yes ma’am.” He grumbled feeling a little too much like he was back on the force. 

_ Put in a prison cell, but one time he could-a been the champion of the world. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SONG: Hurricane- Bob Dylan


	4. Horizons

_ Dust devil swept you away. It’s still not real, I should look in silence. _

Storming Arasaka was a blur. He hadn’t really thought through what would happen once he got passed the security gates and into the bowels of the Tower. Honestly thought he’d be full of lead by now, but there was something about the  _ sheer fucking will  _ to live that made him invincible. He managed to make it to an access point that allowed Alt into the Arasaka mainframe. The AI had then proceeded to mow down anyone he hadn’t short circuited, system reset or overheated. His cyberdeck was practically molten metal from the heat of overuse, anymore quickhacks and he may overload the processor and melt his brain.  _ Now there was an idea. _

The AI ‘lead’ him deeper into the interior of the building toward Mikoshi. The Edgerunner knew they had hit their destination when they found a room with an 8 inch solid door with two Militech MK.31 HMGs mounted on either side inside. Quickly accessing a Breach Protocol V was able to shut down the turret systems before Alt took control and blasted the three goons keeping watch into paste. He risked another use of his cyberdeck, quickly throwing out Contagion, Overheat and Short Circuit daemons. The 3 guards dropped one after the other while V darted toward the heavily armoured door.

“Odd. You seek to  _ stop  _ me from killing our enemy.” Alts voice sounded over the Towers PA system. 

“Yeah, no. Those guys aren’t the reason I’m in this mess. They could have families, kids, dependants. I ain’t gonna be responsible for that.” He grunted as he tried to pull the doors open with just his arms. “Have some kid lookin’ for me in 10 years cause I off’d his dad.” 

“They just protect the place and the people who did.” Johnny sneered from somewhere behind him. “Usin’ up all your RAM too.”

“Right Johnny. I jus’ brought all this firepower for decoration. If you haven’t forgotten, Smasher is wandering around here somewhere. My processor will mean fuck all against his upgrades.” He puffed quietly, motioning to the weapons on his back and belt of grenades he wore. “Alt, a little help?” The door snapped open with a quiet hiss. 

“Fuckin’ Smasher.” Johnny spat.

“This is as far as I can take you. Once you get beyond the secondary doors go straight passed the servers into the Mikoshi Access room. Once you have jacked into the system I will do the rest.” The AI informed the young mercenary. He nodded in understanding and stepped into the laser lined corridor leading to Mikoshi.

On the opposite side of the corridor was another door, more like a lifting garage door then the heavy duty one he had just come through. Both he and Johnny tried to call for Alt when the door had refused to budge. Frustrated V squatted before the down and attempted to lift it himself. He was surprised when he actually managed to get the thing up far enough that he would be able to slip underneath. Just as he began to stick his head under the door a loud crash exploded behind him.

Before V could extract himself to see what it was he felt someone grab his ankles and pull him back into the corridor.

“Smasher!” He heard Johnny cry. Then he was sent sailing through the door, landing sprawled out on his back surrounded by wrecked, burning metal. Before he could blink Smasher was on him again. The cyborgs clawed mechanical hand closed around the streetkids throat and squeezed tight.

Vs eyes felt like they may pop out of his head, his head was pounding and all he could hear was his own heartbeat. Using the last of the oxygen in his brain he slipped an EMP grenade from the belt on his hip and shoved it into the ‘borgs circuitry. Moments later it exploded causing Smasher to cry out and throw himself away from the merc. V rolled over onto his stomach coughing and gagging. Vaguely he could hear Smasher cursing and approaching him again. A steel foot kicked his middle, nearly tearing him in half from the sheer ferocity. V was launched across the room, he landed heavily and let out a pitiful groan. 

“He’s coming back V! Get up!” Johnny demanded.

The mercenary pushed himself up and watched Smasher slowly stomp toward him.

“Pathetic bag of meat. So fragile.” The terrifying terminator sneered. Dazed, confused and probably concussed, V defaulted to his primary fighting style. Quickly activating his cyberdeck he hit smasher with a Cripple Movement daemon. There was a sharp pain on the right side of his head, right where his neural implants inserted, accompanying the action. A reminder that V had used up that last of his available RAM and would need to rest and recover.

Thankfully the daemon was uploaded onto Smashers network and the more machine than man began to stumble and struggle. The joints and gears on his cybernectic limbs locking and jerking uncontrollably. Wasting no time, V hyped himself up once, twice and then ran full tilt at Smasher. He leapt high into the air, brought his knee up and plowed it through the cyborgs face. The pair fell to the floor together, V rolling onto his feet and staggered away painfully holding his ribs. Smasher was on his knees holding his face and cursing.

V equipped his Monowire, the whip like weapon crackled with electrical energy as V snapped it out beside himself. He threw the wire toward Smasher, aiming to wrap it around his neck. The mechanical man ducked under the wire but got his left arm caught up in it trying to shield himself. With a war cry V engaged the electrical charge on the wire and pulled as hard as he could. Smasher lit up like a holiday tree, the circuitry in his arm exploded into flames, he let out an inhuman shriek. V recoiled the wire and slashed out again, this time Smasher rolled out of it’s reach. 

The cyborg pushed himself to his feet with right arm, in a blind rage he ripped his now immobile left arm from its socket and hurled it at his opponent. V tried to leap away the flying, heavy limb, but it got caught up in his feet sending him toppling to the floor. He turned and blindly lashed out the wire. Smasher was taken by surprise and the whip wrapped around his neck. Triumphantly V rolled to his feet and began to pull hard wire, he needed to wait for the next electrical charge. Only 15 more seconds, no problem. 

Smasher grabbed hold of the wire around his neck and crouched low. Before V could wonder what he was doing, the cyborg jumped up and over the hanging balcony in the middle of the room. Creating a pulley between himself and the merc. The metallic man activated the gripping anchors in his clawed feet and pulled back hard. V was yanked into the air by the wire still attached to his arm.

Agony raced through his body, he could feel the wire slowly ripping away from his skin, muscles and other cyberware parts. He screamed painfully. Smasher yanked again and the monowire was ripped from Vs arm. He landed softly on his knees and pulled his arm to his chest.

“AHH!” he howled in agony. He stumbled to his feet and ran.

Arasaka’s head of security launched himself after the lone merc with an almighty roar. He moved so fast he seemed to wink in and out of existence. V ducked behind a nearby server and pulled his favourite shotgun “Carnage” from his back. Liquid fire laced up and down his arms and he whimpered pathetically. He was barely able to pull the weapon in front of himself before Smasher burst through the serve and landed on top of him. The shotgun slipped from his hands skidding across the grated floor. The pain was so horrible it closed his throat.

“Argh!” Smasher grabbed hold of the hair at the back of his head, pulling up and then slamming his face into the grating below them. V tried rolling them but his arms were caught beneath him and Smasher held him down firmly, refusing to budge, his knee pressed into Vs back.

“I’ve got you now punk.” V couldn’t help flinching away from the slimy voice in his ear. Desperately he lifted his head from the grating to try to find anything to help, in front of him were the sharp glassy and jagged metal remains of the server. Smasher had grabbed hold of his hair again and pulled his head back at an unnatural, painful angle so they could make eye contact. He grinned salaciously and sniffed and licked along the mercs neck. V cried out in violated disgust.

One of his arms ripped itself free and reached desperately out in front of them, grabbing the first sharp object he felt. With a strength born of nothing more then absolute hatred V turned himself around and jammed the jagged piece of metal in his hand into Smashers neck. The cyborg gasped and pushed himself off the merc, reaching frantically for the offending metal. V scrambled to his feet and snatched up Carnage.

He took aim at the ‘borg while it was rabidly tore at its neck. A torrent of oil and blood spilled down Smashers chrome torso, he was beginning to choke. V shot out his legs, one after the other. The security head fell flat on his face still gasping hectically. V dropped the shotgun, it was too painful to maintain his grip.

“...Still… lil… bitch...” The ‘borg was heaving. Whatever blockage V had caused jamming that metal into his neck was beginning to cause motor blockages and organ failure within the organic-metal being. Little fires and small explosions were splitting the metal skeleton apart. Even if V didn’t choose to kill Smasher there was no surviving his condition.

The relic spasmed. Reality began turning to lines of code before his eyes, the bursts of pain from within his head made him stagger. Johnny flickered into existence by the entrance to Mikoshi before disappearing and reappearing on a balcony above before disintegrating and reintegrating next to V.

“Just shoot this cocksucker in his ugly fucking face and let’s delta. He doesn’t deserve a moment more.”

“Hey Smasher.” V called, he lifted Johnnys pistol from his belt. The panting cyborg dragged his optics over to the exhausted young man. “Silverhand says ‘see you in hell.’”

_ BANG! _

The rocker regarded the lifeless body of his greatest enemy for a moment before nodding to himself.  _ That’s everything on the to-do list. _ He looked at V who was already lumbering toward Mikoshi. The Edgerunners legs felt like they weighed 1000lbs each, his eyelids were getting heavy too.

“Don’t fall asleep V. We’re almost there choom.”

Walking to the server, slotting into Mikoshi, plopping himself into the coolant, it was like sleepwalking. V felt himself drift off into the net, not knowing if he would ever return Earthside.

***

_ He was in the bathroom of Judy’s apartment, at least it looked like Judy’s apartment? Evelyn lay dead and cold in the tub, matching slits travelled down her forearms. Her head drooped, chin touching her chest and her dark hair covered her glazed eyes and slack features. The wounds were no longer weeping for all her blood had already drained away to join the apartment complexes other waste water. Judy was sobbing from… Somewhere. She had been sitting on the lip of the bath he remembered, but she wasn’t here now. _

_ He followed the weeping into what should’ve been her kitchen, but was in fact an empty room with stained walls and the faint hint of urine permeating everything. His heart began to race, he  _ **_knew_ ** _ this place. Turning to his left he saw a ratty couch. It was falling apart and turned a disgusting shade of grey with hints of piss and puke there was no way of knowing what colour it had originally been. Metal springs had ripped through the fabric, the fluff inside the pillows was flat and the seats were always slightly damp.  _ I remember this. _ Someone lay across the couch, convulsing, the needle still in his arm. V felt a fear and anxiety he hadn’t known in... years. His attention turned to the weeping, where was it…? _

Oh God.

_ He turned back to the bathroom. It wasn’t the one from Judy’s apartment anymore. Just a tiled room with a toilet on one end and a drain beneath a pipe on the other end. There the dark haired woman lay next to the drain, no longer bleeding from the slash across her throat or the stab wounds in her abdomen. A little boy sat just beside her hugging his knees and sobbing.  _ Mother.  _ No. No no no no no no. _

_ “Find me V.” _

_ The world switched off. _

***

“Congrats V! You did it!” Johnnys voice woke him. He opened his eyes slowly and looked around him.

“Where? Where am I? What happened?”

“Welcome to Mikoshi.” Sardonically Johnny showed off the unending scape of code, stretching back further than either could ever comprehend.

“I’m… I’m in Mikoshi. But that means..”

“That Alt probably hit you with Soulkiller. Welcome to the world of ones and zeros choombatta.” The rocker walked over to a dining booth that had materialized from nothing, he dropped in the seat and placed his booted feet on the table.

“Without askin’?” V dropped in across from him.

“The all powerful don’t ask permission V.” Johnny snorted. “Ain’t that right Alt?”

“Gentlemen.” The woman from Johnny memories, the ones they shared, appeared at the edge of the table. Alt Cunningham, as close to the flesh as she was going to get. V frowned.

“That wasn’t the deal. The deal was get you into Mikoshi, get Johnny out of my head.” 

“Originally, yes.” The former human answered cooly. “I made necessary alterations to the deal. Circumstances had changed, new information had come to light, certain factors had come into play.” 

“Such as?” The older man asked curiously. V just glared in shock.  _ She killed him. He was dead, an engram. What would Panam think? _

“V.” The AI turned to him, her eyes seemed unable to meet his, nervously.  _ Odd. _ “Have you ever had any neural implants that aren’t a typical civilian cyber-stock?” Johnny blinked in confusion. V rocked back and stared at her.

“Ah… When I was 14 my biological father kidnapped me. He was some head honcho at Militech. Fuck if I care.” V answered. “Just showed up in the middle of Heywood while I was fixin’ up some gangers car. Had his huscle throw me o’er his shoulder and off we went…” The old rocker was gaping at V. “He… He had a lot of implants put in me. Why?” V swallowed.

“Do you remember what any of them were?” Alt asked. She leaned forward onto her elbows and rested her chin in her hand.

“...Not-Nothing special. I don’t think. Some advanced optics, my first cyberdeck, a Raven Microcyber Mk.3, couple memory boosters, feedback circuit, pain editor, synaptic accelerator, smart link.” V decided that Alt would be very good at poker, her face was unreadable. “...You’re scarin’ me a little Alt. What’s this gotta do with anything?”

“You were only 14?!” Johnny burst, outraged. “Fuck, why didn’t he just send you off to war? Holy shit!”

“They were removed. After La Grange.” Alt stated.

“You don’t say?” V asked the woman sarcastically. “What the fuck do you know about La Grange? You wanna know about my mothers death too? Like what the fuck? I came here to get seperated from Johnny, no offense choom, not for a fucking session with an AI wannabe shrink. Let’s get this show on the road.” He sent her a withering stare. “Also, thanks for hitting me with soulkiller. What was the fucking point of all this?” Johnnys look of sympathy only made him angrier, since  _ when  _ did Johnny Silverhand feel bad for him.

“I don’t think Militech removed everything.” Alt slid into the seat next to him in the booth. “I also didn’t ‘hit you’ with Soulkiller. You’re not an engram.”

“Wh-What? Then how am I here?”

“That is the question V. How are you here?” she frowned and turned to Johnny. “I’m sorry, but even if you had wanted too…. That body is Vs and will remain so.” Johnny waved her pseudo concern away and dropped his legs to the ground.

“I don’t want that pipsqueaks body anyway. It’s missing my impressive cock.” He snorted and stood from the table. 

“Fuck you Johnny. So what Alt… Can I go back? Am I stuck here now? Is there still an implant in my head? How have the rippers missed it?” Was he going to have to assimilate with an AI?

“Memory boosters. They were never removed.”

“Don’t think they saw the point. MemBoos are no good without a deck and they ripped mine out. I figured I got a little head start on RAM after I could afford my own.” V explained. He can still remember the panic he felt when he woke up after being shipped home and he was blind, and his head was fuzzy, like he was constantly looking for something that wasn’t there.

“I don’t think they are being used to boost your memory V. I think they are being used as a blockage. If you are to re-enter your body, the trauma to your brain from this whole ordeal - Silverhand and Arasaka- will destroy the memory boosters.”

“Wait. What? If I go back in, my brain will flatline my cyberware?”  _ Just great! _ He really shoulda just eaten a bullet.

“No. Only in your frontal cortex.”  _ Oh. Weird. _

“How about afterward? What happens when the memory blockage lifts?”

“I imagine you’ll start to remember.”

“But what?”

“How is she supposed to know, stupid?” Johnny snorted from a few feet away, puffing on a digital cigarette. V blinked.  _ Oh yeah. _

“I didn’t know I had forgotten anything… Jesus.” V rubbed his hands over his face, he was just so tired. Couldn’t he disappear into the desert with Panam. Hesitantly he tapped his fingers together and glanced at Alt. “I- I think I’m already starting to remember some. I mean, maybe? Just after I slotted into Mikoshi, I had, like, a flashback… thing. But someone spoke to me… Is that supposed to happen?” Johnny turned with interest toward the table now, his eyebrows raised in curiosity.

“What’d they say?” He asked.

“They want me to come find them… But, I think it was my mothers voice and I was literally flashing back to that time she died….soooooo” V just shook his head and trailed off.

“Come, it’s time to leave. If you want to return we have a small window of opportunity before your death is guaranteed.”

“Well V, seems your adventures are just startin’. Best go find your daddy and figure out what he put in your head. Just keep that girl of yours safe and don’t lose her either yeah?” Johnny glanced at Alt for a moment. “Women like that are one in a million.” 

The woman stood from her place beside V and gestured for the men to follow her. She stepped a few paces away from the booth toward a well.  _ That wasn’t there before,  _ he thought.

“Once you lay inside you’ll wake up, back in Arasaka. I’m going to flush you with the coolant. It’s the only way to get you out of the building without a fight. I don’t think your body could withstand the physical toll another fight would take.” Alt explained as she stood over the well. Johnny took a seat on the edge. “I will contact you again.”

V gulped. This would be the last time he would see or speak to Johnny. Once an uninvited guest in his brain, now a brother in arms. How V wished he could save Johnny from his fate. The rocker though seemed unbothered. Slowly he climbed into the cold water of the well.

“Johnny, I... “

“Goodbye, V. Never stop fighting.” The older man submerged him under the water before he could say anything.

_ Dust devil swept you away. My recollections are all that’s left of you. Swirl and sway without me. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SONG: Horizons - Puscifer


	5. Ramblin' Man

_ Lord, I was born a ramblin’ man. Tryin’ to make a living and doin’ the best I can. _

“Nice truck.” Panam sighed quietly from the passenger seat. She was scared, tired and super annoyed.

“Not as nice as yours! You nomads always got the coolest toys on your rigs. Don’t know how you guys come up with half the shit you use.” River laughed happily and he chomped into a synth-meat burrito. He was navigating the winding dirt roads away from the safehouse back toward the city, it would be the fastest route to getting back into the Badlands proper. Beside him Panam turned from quietly dejected to visibly proud.

“Took me forever… And it’s a never ending process.” She grinned. “Pawning and repurposing scrap became my life's purpose for an entire year just to get her where I wanted.”

“No kidding? How much of her is repurposed? The armor plating looked brand new.” He asked around a mouthful of food.

“I’d say quite a bit. Over half for sure. I bought the truck used years ago, I installed the soft and ICE myself, the tech screens I ripped outta other cars or traded for, the turret was a gift from the clan after a scary run-in with some Raffens. Claire, the bartender from Afterlife, races a Mackinaw so I was able to convince her to do some work on the engine. The plating was… V. Bastard  _ stole _ my truck and installed the plating after… a disagreement after a cyberpsycho sniper encounter.” Her voice cracked when she said his name.

The nomad had left V in the capable hands of Viktor and Misty back at the safehouse. He was still unconscious, but Misty told her that his energetic neural activity was a good sign. His brain was working, but was it his brain anymore? They wouldn’t know until he woke up. After 3 days and nights at his side, Saul finally put in the call for her to return home. They had things to discuss.

She had protested, but Saul had put his foot down. She was supposed to be the co-leader of this chapter of the Aldecaldos, there were responsibilities that she had been neglecting in favour of V. He told her Mitch would be at the Sunset Motel by noon that day and if she wasn’t there, the whole convoy would drive itself into the city to get her. River had been all too happy to offer a ride to the dusty motel, he popped into the safehouse occasionally throughout the few days V had been unconscious. Sometimes he had food, other times he brought beer. If she hadn’t known better she would think the P.I. was making a pass at her. But Misty had reminded her with a giggle that the man was a detective, he had definitely picked up that she was spoken for already. He was more likely to play 20 questions to fill whatever holes in the Arasaka versus V story had.

“That’s what nomads call the Wraiths right? Raffens.” The detective asked. 

“Yeah. Raffen Shiv, exiled nomads. The turret was on one of their trucks that got burned out. Saul figured I had earned it.” She smiled softly. “Mitch helped me mount it.”

“Saul… Ah. Saul Bright.” River looked contemplative as he stopped at an intersection waiting to turn left. “He’s your leader right? His name came through the department a few times. Yours too.” Panam jerked back in surprise.

“My name?”

“Oh sure, working with Rogue will do that. Though there were some older files in your family folder.” He smirked at her. “There were a few Aldecaldo Palmers causing NC grief before you showed up. There was a Cam Palmer, his file was pretty recent too, 5 years maybe. F. Palmer that one went back like 40 years though, S. Palmer before that. You come from a family of trouble makers Panam?”

“Cam is my brother. He left the ‘caldos too, way before I did. Never came back. Nice to know he made it here.” She scowled darkly at the dashboard and crossed her arms over her chest. “F. Palmer was Felix, my father, S. Palmer… Might be a distant relation.”

“V never mentioned you had a brother.” River said without thinking. Immediately her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“You and V do a lot of talkin’ ‘bout me?” She asked dangerously. 

“Couldn’t get ‘im to shut up.” The P.I. grinned widely in response. Panams eyes had widened in surprise and her cheeks tinged pink. “How did you even think to turn the power grid into a giant EMP? Must’ve taken weeks of planning.”

“Took me about 3 days. Wait...Wh-What? I don’t know anything about a power grid!”

“I’m not NCPD anymore and even then, I was pretty impressed someone managed that at all.” River consoled her.

“Hmm. I see V neglected to tell you he was there _ helping _ me.” Her tone was aggressive and she was glaring at him, but he had taken enough human psychology courses to know projection when he saw it. She was embarrassed, uncomfortable maybe, so she went straight to aggression as a defensive. He’d worked with worse.

“Nah, he mentioned that too.” The former cop waved her away and directed his truck toward a highway exit. “How’d you two meet?”

“I thought he didn’t shut up about me. Surely he told you.” She sassed at him. He just grinned wolfishly.

“I think he said something like ‘River I’ve known her my whole life, I was just waiting to meet her’. Corniest shit I’ve ever heard.” The pink in her cheeks deepened, but she snorted loudly all the same.

“How does he come up with that stuff?” She shook her head with a fond smile on her lips. Quickly though it flipped to a frown and her eyes watered just a moment before hardening again.  _ Shit. _

“He was drunk as all hell, talkin’ about Goddesses and muses.”  _ Reasons to keep living _ , he remembered. “Kept tellin’ me you would punch ‘im in the nuts if you heard ‘im talkin’ like that.” She gave a quiet, watery laugh and then cleared her throat.

“Rogue. My last job with her, god almost a year ago, she had me partner up with a limp dick asshole named Nash. Raffen Shiv trash. Betrayed me the first chance he got, took off with my ride  _ and  _ the cargo.” The nomad turned toward him with a scowl. “V was looking for some info Rogue had on an engineer. The one who made that _ fucking chip  _ stuck in his head. He paid a bunch of eddies and helped me with her cargo in exchange for the info. He helped me deal with Nash because he didn’t like that Rogue basically blackmailed me into helping him.”

“Rogue likes to remind people that she has all the power, but she also plays a very complicated game of chess with those in her employ. I wouldn’t be surprised if Nash dying was the goal from the beginning.” The Detective chewed his last bite and tossed the empty burrito wrapper in the backseat.

“Huh. Never thought of that. I admit, I was a little… aggressive when I asked for his help to get revenge on Nash.” She shrugged sheepishly. “But he understood. By the time that was done and we had dropped the cargo, we were beat. A few beers, a shared motel room,  _ separate _ beds,” she emphasized “and this mutual respect had been achieved. He was a fantastic fighter, incredibly intelligent and surprisingly insightful. He had my back from the very beginning.” She shook her head with a fond smile on her face. “Loyal but stupid.” 

“Did you help him get the engineer?”

“Yes. A few weeks later when Kang Tao finally decided to move the engineer for his own protection. Arasaka wanted him too. That was why we took out the Power Grid. Kang Tao AV.” Panam cast a forlorn look out the window. “That gig was a bust all around. The Kang took out a group of nomads repairing some equipment, my friends. Hellman, the engineer, was a deadend for V.”

“Hellman? Ah. The ‘Save Your Soul’ guy from Arasaka? Damn. How did V manage to get mixed up in all of that?” River whistled, impressed. They had reached their destination. He pulled his truck into the parking lot while Panam scanned the area, looking for her fellow Aldecaldo.

“I don’t know. He never told me about ‘The Heist’. Just the aftermath.” Her face settled into a dangerously determined look. “When he wakes up I intend to find out. _ Everything. _ ” River had no doubt she would, he even felt a little sorry for V, but only a little. “There he is.” She pointed to a Mackinaw parked off to the right, Mitch seated on the hood. They pulled in next to the truck.

“Alright. Best of luck with whatever is going on back at camp. I’m sure the doc or Misty will give you if there are any changes.”

“Thank you River. For the ride and for helping V.” She smiled sadly at him and exited the vehicle. He saluted Mitch through the windshield and quickly reversed out of the parking stall and merged into the traffic heading back into the city.

The Sunset Motel. Panam never thought that the dingy little place at the edge of Night City would be the one of the only places she would think back on fondly. Honestly she didn’t think she’d miss anything about Night City when (not if) she finally deserted the hellhole. But the Sunset Motel was, weirdly enough, the shiny beacon of all she had come to enjoy about Night City. Good booze, warm food, running water and V.

“Hey!” Mitch yanked her into a hug. For a moment she allowed herself to sink into the comfort brought on by his closeness. Being on the road constantly allowed for little human contact and then her attitude tended to close her off to any contact that was offered. Mitch was one of few people she allowed herself to take comfort from.

“Hey Mitch.” She pulled away sadly.

“Feel like driving?” He jerked his thumb toward her vehicle, a soft smile on his face. Panam grinned and practically skipped around him to hop behind the wheel. The vet chuckled to himself and climbed into the truck after her. She tore out of the parking lot and further into the Badlands at high speed.

For a time they were quiet, Panam reacquainting herself with the highway and Mitch observing her. The longer she drove the looser Panam became, her shoulders and face relaxed, the tightness in the arms and hands faded, she started to slump a little. Clearly she hadn’t been sleeping even after they found V, the dark circles around her eyes hadn’t faded at all since he’d last seen her. Even her skin had taken a pallid grey tinge.

“No change?”

“No. He’s still unconscious.” The younger nomad sighed sadly.

“He’ll wake up Pan, he’s a tough one. Your Dad would’ve liked him, way more than he liked Scorp.” Mitch chuckled quietly. Panam smiled gently.

“Dad didn’t like anyone. ‘cept you and Cassidy.”

“I know. That’s why he would like V. Cause me an’ Cassidy like him.” The former soldier nodded in finality.

“Cassidy likes him?” She asks in surprise.

“He didn’t at first. Still thinks he’s a shit shot and that he  _ meddles in your affairs _ too often.” Mitch waggled his eyebrows suggestively at the young woman. Panam blushed but rolled her eyes. “Carol likes him, thinks he’s cocky though. Dakota  _ really  _ likes him, consensus around the camp is he’s as good as family these days. Saul got him a jacket.” 

“Like, a  _ jacket, _ jacket?” Panam turned her gaze to her passenger, a wide eyed look on her face. “Wait. Saul?  _ Saul _ got him a jacket?!” she was incredulous.

“He can’t avoid it forever Pan. The kid looks like he’d follow you just about anywhere. He’s helped Bruce, Taco, Saul, me, you and so many more. Just cause it was important to you.” Mitchs face softened. “He’s family.” For a moment they are quiet, her face turns contemplative as she mulls something over in her head.

“Why do you like him Mitch? You  _ loved _ Scorps.” This time Mitch turns contemplative. Panam can see that he took her question seriously. Inviting V to camp, to be an Aldecaldo would be a large step in their relationship. They would basically be moving in together after being ‘together’ only a few months. Though this was not uncommon in Nomadic culture, she knew some couples that had moved in, married and gotten pregnant in that time. Finding a person you were compatible with was a rare find in the Badlands. You lock that shit down and fast. 

Giving V a jacket would be more than just moving in together though. She would be asking him to move away from the only home he had ever known, all of his friends and the family he had made there, to trudge through the desert with her own family. Some of which were still hostile toward him simply because he was an outsider. 

Panam liked for things to be straight forward. Simple, no surprises. Surprises out in the Badlands were never a good thing. Except for V. Now he had been surprising in… surprising ways. A born and raised NC Streetkid with no real parents from what he told her, an absent corpo father and a dead doll for a mother. He should be dead or in a gang or dead. 

Instead he was… one of the most generous people she had ever met. He gave without thinking, offered without prompting and was, like,  _ actually _ happy most of the time. She thought that was impossible in Night City. She had _ proved _ it impossible, multiple times! People she had trusted for years fucked her over, happily, just to get a little ahead in the rat race. Hell the smartest Fixer in town was Rogue, who took her cash up front. Night City was a breeding pool for liars, cheats and basically anyone who forgot to be human.

Her father had warned her as much. He had been adamant that the Aldecaldos stay in Arizona or move northward, Canada may be a frozen desert but it was abundant with life and water. People had to work together to survive instead of chopping each other down just to get scraps. Night City will be the end of the Aldecaldos he had warned them all years ago. 

Felix ‘Fix-it’ Palmer, had been a handyman in every sense of the word. He built 2 Brennan Apollos from the scraps of an old Mackinaw and a burned out Arch they found abandoned in the desert. He gave one to Scorpion (begrudgingly), the other went to Panams older brother Cam. He was always handy to have around, Mitch would say, especially in a scrap. He had been a Veteran, served alongside Cassidy in the L.I. units along the Mexican border. He was overly cautious to the point of paranoia, and he  _ hated  _ surprises. People say she was the younger, female version of him. She had loved him very much.

“He wants it more.” Mitch interrupted her train of thought. She turned to him scandalized.

“Excuse me?!”

“Not you, ya gonk. Although, yes. That boy was so thirsty for a drink of Panam… Anyway,” He shook his head, she continued to look at him demanding an explanation. “I mean, everything.” He gestured around them looking lost for words.

“Mitch…”

“He  _ loves _ life!” The veteran exclaimed. “He.. He is the happiest person I’ve ever met. And he was raised in NC! That place breeds inhumanity like, like some of the darkest shit I saw during the war. He  _ lived  _ that his whole life. As a little kid even.” Both nomads gulped, forever grateful to have a family to come home too. He looked at Panam.

“He was dying, had another personality taking over his brain, I can’t imagine the pain. And yet… He helped me fulfill Scorps last wishes, helped us steal a panzer, he helped River and probably way more and he did it all happily. With jokes and smiles.” Beside him Panam sniffled and pulled the truck off the highway onto a small, winding, dirt road that would eventually lead to the camp.

“Mostly though, it was how good a fit for you he was.” he sighed. “You’re fire, he’s ice. In the last year Panam, you’ve grown so much. He helped you move forward. Scorps, God love him, was as stuck as Saul.”

“I was so defeated by the time I had left Mitch. Dad was… and Cam just left, barely ever answered his holo. Scorps kept talking about ‘someday’, but never followed through. Saul was happy to sit in the rut we were in, barely scraping by, just surviving. But even on my own it was still just surviving. It was just more lonesome. Then V showed up.” Panam gave a watery laugh. “I wasn’t ready for him, not for the questions he asked, the motives behind everything he did, the feelings he provoked, good and bad. He helped me find myself after being so lost without dad and Cam.”

“Sounds like he turned your world on its head.” Mitch nodded wisely.

“Mitch… My world was in a million pieces and he broke it into a million more.” The camp was coming into view now. She could see the smoke billowing from the barbeques behind the cantina. Odd, the cantina barbeques were only turned on to celebrate or to motivate. Which was this she wondered. Beside her Mitch whistled.

“Wow. Should we be hearing wedding bells and the pitter-patter of little feet soon?” He teased.

“Shut up.” She rolled her eyes and pulled the truck into its spot, not far from the tent currently housing the panzer. “And  _ no _ . Babies are a long way off, if ever.” Her nose scrunched unpleasantly at the thought.

“Oho! I didn’t hear a no about the wedding bells.” He slipped out of the truck before she could smack him. 

“Don’t get ahead of yourself. He still has to wake up before you hear any more phantom noises.” she advised. Immediately Mitch frowned and turned toward her again as they walked further into the camp.

“He will Pan. He wi-”

“Panam! You’re back! It’s about time! Come on, I’ve got a job for you.” Sauls voice called over from the ripper trailer.

“Duty calls Mitch. Thanks for coming to get me.” She smiled gently at him before walking toward her co-leader.

* * *

“So that’s it then. Everyone know what they are doing?” Saul looked out over the table and the surrounding members of his chapter of the Aldecaldo clan. The vets, Panam and Dakota nodded as one. “Alright then. Get your shit together we leave at 1800 hours.” The group began to disperse. “Panam, wait here a minute. I need to talk to you.” The woman in question tried not to throw her eye skyward and nodded in response. 

“What’s up Saul?” He waited for the group to move out of earshot.

“I heard V is still unconscious.” She nodded an affirmative in answer. “I’m sorry.”

“Why did you hang up on me?” She demanded. Panam hadn’t been back to camp since V called her the night of the Arasaka incident over a week ago. She’d been letting the interaction stew over their separation, but found it didn’t make her any less hurt or angry. Saul looked away, ashamed,  _ good. “ _ How could you commision a jacket for V, invite him to this family, and then turn your back the moment he needed our help?”

“He messaged me.” Saul grunted in answer. Her blood froze.

“What? He turned his holo off.”

“Not that night. Before, I… ahem. I had taken him aside after we moved camp. You were going over damage with Mitch or something.” Saul moved from behind the table and motioned for her to walk with him. They moved up onto a ridge overlooking the entire camp. “Took him right here, to find out his intentions.” He winced in anticipation.

“You did WHAT?!” She cried out in horror. “You had no right! Saul! What th-” She was shoving and hitting him before she could blink.

“I know! I know!” He raised his hands in surrender, ducking away from her swats. “I knew you would be upset, so did he. Which is probably why he didn’t tell you.” Her eyes flashed with unbridled rage, how dare he meddle in her life. “He made his intentions very clear though.”

“Oh really?” she spat angrily. “What could he have possibly told you?”

“He told me he was dying. That he was gonna have to do something big and stupid soon.” He rushed, she blinked. “That he didn’t want to put the Aldecaldos or you at risk for a man whose death was all but guaranteed.” He could see her ire returning. “But that he didn’t think he would be strong enough to stop himself from calling you. He asked me to make sure you were safe, that you didn’t follow him into hell.” He stared off into the distance for a moment. Panam just blinked up at him, unable to decide who she was more upset with V or Saul.

“So you intentionally didn’t tell anyone at camp that it was V at Arasaka until it was over? You let him face that hell alone, even though you considered him family.” She crossed her arms over her chest and glared daggers at him.

“I was honoring a brothers request.”

“Pfft. If I had requested that in his position the whole clan would’ve burned down Night City.” She snorted.

“Clan rules Panam.” Saul shrugged. “Protect your family, protect your clan. He’s provided us with the opportunity to profit. While he recovers and Arasaka scrambles, we have the opening in the MagLev tunnel to siphon off a lot of hardware from Araksaka into the desert. We will be living in luxury, eddies like this will help us over the border and back into Arizona. Away from this wretched place.” Saul gestured to the city behind them and then toward the border. “V did his exact duty as a member of this clan and his duty to you, his family, by keeping you safe.” Her nostrils flared and she pulled her arms apart, ready to really start yelling and arguing for real. 

“Then we  _ failed _ him!” She resisted the urge to stamp her feet childishly. “We let him go on a suicidal crusade in hopes to pillage what was left over when it was all said and done! Argh!” Disgusted she turned away from him. She wanted to scream and laugh and cry, she settled for kicking a small rock away from the overhang.

“I agree. We did fail him.” Saul said from behind her. “I couldn’t stop V from going into Arasaka anymore then I could stop Scorpion from checking out that downed AV.” The younger nomad flinched as if his words had physically wounded her. “I initially wanted to send additional teams into the city to help find him.” 

“Why didn’t you?”

“I.. Ahem. That is to say that someone.. Uh.” He was stammering and hesitant, that  _ never  _ happened.

“Spit it out!”

“Someone approached me. They asked that not only do we not help V, but that I recall you and Mitch.” He gave her a significant look. “Something about V has come up.”

“What kind of things?” she asked skeptically. V’s been a godsend for the family, what could they possibly have on him?

“Someone is trying to connect him to what happened in La Grange.” Saul answered.

“What?! How?! Why!?” She spun around quickly turning to look over the camp as if she were able to spot the guilty party.

“Remember when V came for dinner that one time? I think he was helping Dakota with a gig and since he was  _ in the neighbourhood  _ he decided to drop by and say  _ hi _ .” He couldn’t keep from raising an eyebrow at her. She rolled her eyes and told him to get on with it. “He mentioned that his Father was Militech.”

“He also said he had no contact with him.” She interjected.

“Sure,  _ now _ . What about 10 years ago?” He agreed easily. 

“Let me get this straight. Because V said he was related to some Militech guy, someone is now trying to connect him to a bomb Militech dropped in another state on a different Aldecaldo family. An event that happened 10 years ago, when V would have been 16 years old.” Panam frowned disbelievingly, she rocked on her heels before placing a hand on her hip.

“It.. Ahem. It got certain people curious about your boyfriends origins.” She shot him a glare. “Started looking into who his dad could be, V never gave a name remember? Last I heard they were still looking.”

“That is… So wrong!” She fumed. “Usin’ V to settle a vendetta.. To drag him into a conflict that’s not his!”

“Your father, my wife, Taco and Jeff's mom, Larry, Liam, Rachel and Ben…We lost a lot of people that day. Don’t you want to know? Even a little about that day?” 

“No!” Panam knew she sounded like a petulant child, but she cared very little. “Militech dropped a bomb on the most suspicious looking gig I’ve ever seen. That is as much on Lawrence as it is on Militech. Dad  _ warned _ him! They argued for  _ days _ Saul!”

“Larry’s family needed the eddies Pan. Little Ben was real sick.” He attempted to explain.

“So he takes the first fucking gonk-ass job that slides across his desk?! Jesus Saul, he didn’t even weigh the risks! Did he not wonder why there were fucking cultists and Kang Tao circuitry hanging about?”

“Would you have weighed the risks if V had asked us for help?” The older nomad turned the tables on her. 

“O-of course I would have!” She stammered. Turning to look at him alarmed, but he was smirking. 

“Ben was Larry’s  _ son _ Pan. His kid was dying, he was desperate and not thinking straight.”

“He should’ve listened to Dad. I know he would have found a better, safer way.” The young woman muttered stubbornly, angrily. “Maybe they’d still be alive.”

“Well. We’ll never know.”

“Enough. Dad and Michelles’ deaths and La Grange had nothing to do with V. He would’ve been 16! Jesus! That was a botched Biotechnica mission.” Panam reminded him, her voice annoyed and angry. Saul scratched the back of his head nervously. Her eyes narrowed.

“There’s some new info, been brought to light recently. Well sorta new.”

“Oh?” she prompted. “And this information just magically happened to appear the minute V needed the Aldecaldos help? Please. This seems too good to be true.” Saul frowned.

“Carol picked it up.” He answered. “She was checking the Militech channels, trying to gauge the traffic over at the SERC for the raid. Except she heard them announce the arrival of an old, but powerful stuffed shirt. I guess he’s looking to buy up what's left of ‘Saka. But it’s him, the same one that ordered the bomb drop in La Grange. Taco was with her too, poor kid went crazy. Wanted to bomb Militech with V next.” 

“Oh boy.” The young woman whistled. 

“So I had her do a little digging and right on top of this gonks recently opened files was La Grange. Like just there, the whole damn ‘official incident’ report. So obviously they read it.” Saul continued.

“Seems mighty convenient.” Panam growled. Saul nodded in agreement.

“You’re right. It was a botched Biotechnica mission. But it was botched by Militech. The stuffed shirt? It was his kid.” Panam gasped. “Guess the boy didn’t like daddys work and decided to leak the manifest to a deranged Kang Tao hit squad, the Atlanta Aldecaldos and some Maelstromers. Well… we know how that went. Taco can’t find the kids name anywhere, but he’s obsessing over the Militech detail V threw out there a few weeks ago now. ”

“V was a street kid in Night City. Not a Corpo kid in Atlanta.” Panam reminded him none too gently but he could hear a little doubt creeping into her tone.

“I know, I know.” He didn’t need to see the other nomads face to know she was furious. “But Taco has developed a bit of a following now, they are gathering evidence.”

“Evidence?! What the actual fuck Saul!?” She cried looking at the man incredulously. “If Taco didn’t trust V why didn’t he come to  _ me? _ ” He winced. “Or better yet! Take it up with the guy himself! V has nothing to hide.”

“Probably got something to do with the fact that you are head over heels for the guy.” Saul mumbled. She scoffed. “Panam, we have never seen you like this. _ I _ have never seen you like this.”

“Like what Saul?! Happy?!” she exploded.

“Are you?” He asked. Abruptly she deflated. 

“V helped me find a piece of myself I thought I’d lost. He reignited a spark I had forgotten was there. I want the Aldecaldos to succeed, Saul, but I want that  _ with _ V.” She sighed, as if she has admitted a huge secret. “But he keeps me grounded, focused, ambitious, laughing. I haven’t been like this since…”

  
  
  


“Since La Grange.” The elder nomad agreed.

“V helped remind me to trust myself. To trust my dad. He may be gone, but everything he knew he taught me and I _ know  _ he would not want what we had Saul.” Panam sniffled quietly. 

“I don’t think anyone would be prouder. Your dad loved you Panam. I don’t even think he’d have been mad when you... When you left..” He sighed. “Mitch, Scrops and I were devastated. Your big ideas were giving you a fat head. You wanted so much..” He sat on the overhang, letting his legs dangle over the edge. “Scorps thought that he woulda been enough to make you stay. But you were so willing to drop everything you two had…”

“Sit around. That's what you wanted me to do? Sit around while our way of life dwindled and we lost more and more of our family to illness or the raffens.” She spat. “The clan was stagnant and you know it. We needed jobs, opportunities, money! We needed to be better! You refused to see that, Scorpion refused to see it!”

“I know, Pan, I know now.”

“V respects me enough to know I know what I am capable of, and he only wants to help me be better, not to cage me up. It’s why he armored up the truck like he did. He respects me and my abilities.” She sat heavily next to him. “Which is why I am going to give him hell for storming Arasaka and for fighting Adam  _ Goddamn _ Smasher by himself!” Saul chuckled quietly.

“He’s probably more scared of you then Smasher.”

“Good he should be.” She looked at him. “What do we do about the whole La Grange thing?

“I figured we’d just ask him about it.” He leaned back on both arms.

“Simple, elegant. I like it.” 

“Think he’ll take the jacket?” Saul changed the topic. She shrugged nervously.

“I’m gonna go check the truck and get some supplies ready. Maybe catch a nap. I’ll see you at 1800 for the raid of a lifetime.” Panam stood and walked down the slope back toward the camp and her truck.

“See you.”

  
  


_ And when it’s time for leavin’, I hope you’ll understand. That I was born a ramblin’ man. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SONG: Ramblin' Man - Allman Brothers Band


	6. Doctor My Eyes

_ I have done all I could, To see the evil and the good without hiding. _

He remembered the smell of rust, or was it blood, and mold. The scraping of porous metal along his skin, the taste of mud and the relief of cool water. He remembered darkness, the sounds of his own breathing echoing around him, the cold.

_ Keep moving forward.  _

His arm was stuck. 

_ Keep moving. _

He couldn’t breath. So much water.

_ Turn. Forward. _

Light. Something wrapped around him. Water. Cold. Hard. Pull. No air. Fading. Dark.

_ Find me son… _

Warmth. Hands. Ribs aching. Muscles seizing. Breathing. Air.

“You’re alright V, I’ve got you.”  _ Panam. _ Relief. Dark.

He wakes with a jolt and a cry. It’s dark, it’s so dark. Panic fills him. Where was Panam? Was he still in the pipe? Was he in Mikoshi? He could feel his chest and ribs ache with each increasingly panicked breath. Pain. He tried to lift his arms but they were restrained, he began to buck wildly in an attempt to escape his binds. Someone was saying his name.

Cool, small hands framed his face. 

“V!” He tries to break free. “Come on V! It’s me! It’s Misty! Calm down.” At once his struggles cease.

“Misty?” He croaked, his throat and voice aching from lack of use. “Where is Panam? Where am I? Why is it so dark?” The smaller woman stepped away for a moment. Slowly, carefully she opened the curtains of a nearby window. The early morning rays of the sun just began to peak through the fabric. V blinked furiously, his eyes watering involuntarily.

“Vik recommended we don’t strain your eyes. You’ve been stuck in the dark for a long while now, they are probably sensitive.” From what he could see they were in a small bedroom, he was laying on a bed that had been modified for Ripper use. Misty was bustling around the room, gathering equipment and releasing the restraints on his arms and legs. The mercenary immediately pulled himself into a seated position, groaning the whole way and ignoring the wave of nausea and dizziness.

“We? What happened? I… I remember Mikoshi. Where are we?” He carefully stretched his left arm over his head, the muscles protested painfully. “Argh.” 

“Careful, you dislocated your shoulder. Vik tried to repair what he could, but the damage was nearly extensive enough to consider taking the arm.” Misty warned him gently. She stood before him and wrapped him in a tender hug. “I’m so glad you’re okay, V.”

“Safehouse on the outskirts of the city. Not far from my sisters place.” A new voice answered from the doorway.

“River?” V asked in surprise. Leaning to look passed Misty at the unexpected guest.

“One and only.” He smiled over to Misty. “I’ll let you make the calls you’re gonna need to make. She’ll want to know. I already called Rogue and Vik.” 

“Thanks River.” The mystic released V and moved toward the exit. She squeezed Rivers arm and gave him a bashful smile before leaving the room. V blinked,  _ interesting development there. _ The detective smiled to himself before turning back to the injured mercenary.

“Panam’s gonna be pissed you woke up the one day she isn’t here.” He pulled a small metal chair away from a computer desk in the corner and sat next to V’s bed. The confused, younger man's gaze snapped to Rivers.

“She was here? I remember… Water. Her voice… I can’t remember.” V struggled. His head dropped and he ran his hands through his dark hair in frustration.

“The AI you hit Araska with flushed you with the system coolant to the Arasaka Industrial Park in Arroyo. I found you half dead and buried inside a pipe on the westside construction site. We got you out. But you weren’t breathing.” River was staring at a spot on the floor as he recalled the events that had brought V back to life. “The Nomads saved your life. They performed CPR and got you breathing again.”

“Fuck me.” V laid back onto the bed. 

“A Delamain AV showed up and jetted you off here. Dr. Vector did what he had too to keep you alive. You’ll have to ask him about your implants.” River winced, V frowned. “Panam and Misty have been watching you in the meantime. Well.. until that Saul guy organized a job he needed Panam for. She only left yesterday afternoon.” River shrugged. V hummed in acknowledgement.

How long had he been stuck in the pipe? How long had he been unconscious after that? At least he was done with the fucking Relic now. He would miss Johnny, but his body was his own again. Or was it?

_ Shit. _ He had to find out what the fuck Militech had stuck in his head. Why was his very long dead mother asking him to look for her? He knew exactly where she was, the same place all unwanted whores end up, some meat grinder made for processing fertilizer. The other Dolls he had grownup with had had no qualms telling the little boy what would become of his mother now that she was dead. Why was she looking for him?  _ How  _ was she looking for him? 

“I’d ask for an explanation of why you thought  _ storming Arasaka Tower  _ was a good thing, but I have a feeling Panam is going to beat the answers out of you.” Beside him River had leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest. He looked unimpressed. 

“No offense River.” The merc groaned as he threw his right arm over his eyes. The sun had officially peaked over the horizon now and the brightness was unbearable. “But why are you even here? I didn’t tell you about Arasaka and Mikoshi specifically to keep you from getting involved.” The investigator turned to V insulted.

“A little Fixer known as Rogue called me.” He claimed indignantly. “Said you got yourself into some trouble and needed a ride out. I figured I’d happily help you out after everything. You’re welcome by the way. If I hadn’t found you, you’d definitely be dead right now.”

“Jesus River. I’m sorry.” V sighed. “Thank you.”

“Just  _ what the fuck _ were you thinking V?” River hissed. His tone made the younger man squint painfully up at him. He leaned forward onto his elbows and glowered at V. “Was it worth it?” V dropped his head again and let his eyes close, the sun hurt but he’d be damned if he shut it out. 

“Shitty as it was, painful as it was… Yeah. Yeah it was worth it.” V cracked a smile and then a chuckle. “Holy shit. I’m.. I’m gonna live. It’s over. It’s over!” He crowed happily. Suddenly energized he pushed himself back into a sitting position. 

Mikoshi was defeated. The chip in his brain, he could take it out! The pain, the seizures, the bleeding and passing out… all no more! _Holy shit. Holy shit!_ After a year with a dark, heavy, presence named death following his every move he was finally free. He felt like he had seen the sun for the first time! His eyes ached and his brain was still a little fuzzy and his body was the weakest he’d ever seen, but he was alive! Nothing could touch him!

He leapt from the bed, intending to collect his phone, but his legs collapsed beneath him. River jumped to catch him with a yelp. Misty rushed into the room phone in one hand and a small glass of water in the other. She placed the glass on the computer desk and moved to help River get V back into the bed.

“No, he’s fine. Just eager to get out of bed.” She spoke into the phone. “I better get back to it. See you soon. I will.”

“Aww. Come on guys, I’m fine. Just wasn’t ready that time.” V complained.

“Be quiet V. You are in no shape to be jumping around.” Misty scolded. Once she was sure he was in bed and didn’t intend to move, she explained. “You've been unconscious for nearly 4 days and for 5 days  _ before  _ that you were stuck in a pipe. While your brain is probably overjoyed at all the extra room again, but your body has suffered severe trauma. That doesn’t even include the hits you took in Arasaka or the damage from your fight with Smasher. So please, for the love of everything,  _ stay put _ .”

“How’d you find out about Smasher?” V asked sheepishly from the bed thoroughly chastised. River snorted and pulled up a few screamsheets on his phone. He passed the device to V to peruse at his pleasure.

Turns out that a videofeed of his fight with Smasher had been leaked to the Net.  _ Shit. _ Well, now he was as famous as he was infamous.This would put a massive bullseye on the Aldecaldos if he were to follow them over the border. Plus the new information he had gained about his Father and Militech… Should he even try to leave the city? Could he justify dragging Panam and her family into danger for such selfish reasons? The previous giddy jubilation he felt at just being alive deflated quickly, replaced by an ominous dread. He handed the phone back.

“Panam was just finishing some things up at camp when I called, she’ll be here soon.” Misty told him. He glanced up to see she was leaning a hip against Rivers seat, arms crossed loosely over her chest, looking at him sympathetically. “Vik was already on his way to check on you, he’ll be here momentarily. I think he brought Mama Welles. She worries we haven’t been eating.” On cue Vs stomach grumbled and a wave of nausea so dizzying he was glad to be laying down hit him. He gagged.

“Are you okay?” River asked, frowning.

Without warning he began to dry heave violently. He was coughing and gagging, tears fell freely from his eyes, his ribs and chest throbbed painfully at each heave. Misty leapt to her feet and turned V onto his side quickly. 

“River the bucket!” The wide eyed P.I. speedily pulled the bucket from the shelf the blonde had pointed too and placed it in front of the poor heaving mercenary. Together the pair waited out Vs episode. Eventually when the gagging had slowed, V pushed the empty bucket away and curled into a ball on the bed. He was drenched in sweat, shivering uncontrollably and groaning pathetically. Vaguely he heard a door swish open. “Vik!” 

The world went dark. 

* * *

“Raise and shine sleeping beauty.” Viks familiar grizzled drawl wormed its way into his consciousness. He groaned. “Come on your Highness, you’ve guests to attend too.” V grunted and tried to turn away from the disturbance. The empty void of sleep calling to him mesmerizingly. “Get up V. You scared the shit out of Misty and Guadalupe.” The darkness was ripped from him.

He was still in the bedroom, on the bed he had collapsed onto, it was brighter. His eyeballs still felt like they were being gnawed on, but it was marginally better then when he had woken hours earlier. Vik sat grinning off to his left side, he motioned to the doorway. Both Mama Welles and Misty stood just inside the room. Misty looked shaken, but she was smiling. Mama Welles eyes were hardened, but misty, she was frowning. River was missing.

“What happened?” He asked the room quietly. V once more pushed himself into a seated position.

“You crashed.” Vik answered simply. “You needed a few nutrient boosts, a strong antiemetic and a shit load of antibiotics. Were you eating mud pies V? I’ve spent more time trying to kill the hostile microbes and parasites in your gut then fixing the physical damage you got from this little adventure.”

“Ai! Little adventure. Suicide run, you mean?” Mama Welles asked angrily. “I knew those Nomads were no good. Rolling around in the dirt, working their contracts made you brave, reckless.” She walked purposefully toward V, he winced when she dropped to his level. “Foolish boy!” She hugged him fiercely and pressed a kiss to the crown of his head before abruptly turning and exiting the room saying something about a late lunch.

“She was really worried.” Misty giggled quietly. “So was I.”

“Sorry Misty. That wasn’t supposed to happen.” V scratched the back of his head abashedly. 

“You jumped the gun a little. Tried too much too fast.” Vik told him. “You gotta take it easy.” The young man nodded in understanding. “If you’re feeling up to it, I think we may be able to get you to the bathroom. A quick shower, brush your teeth, maybe a shave and you’ll feel better.”

V nodded and reached up for the chip slotted into his neural port, ready to be rid of the damn thing. Both Misty and Vik leapt to stop him.

“What the hell are you doing?” 

“V! Stop trying to kill yourself!”

“What?” he asked, looking toward the two in surprise. “The chip is useless. I want it out of my fucking head.” Vik took hold of the arm that had reached up to his head and cautiously pulled it away.

“We don’t know that V. Your brain scans have been… inconclusive. I can’t get a full reading.” Vik told him. “It’s best we just leave it from now hmm? Come on stinky, wanna smell nice when your girlfriend shows up.” He motioned toward the attached bathroom. “Thanks for tellin’ us about her by the way.” V blushed as he slowly meandered his way, with Viks help, into the shower.

20 minutes later he felt fresh as a daisy, if a little tired. Misty had picked him up a change of clothes from his apartment. A simple plaid T-shirt and tank top with a pair of cargo utility pants. He had just exited the bathroom when he heard Mama Welles’ surprised exclamation.

“Who are you? Where are you going?”

“It’s okay Mama.” Misty placated her.

The door to his temporary bedroom snapped open and there she stood.  _ Panam _ . She hadn’t noticed him yet, her gaze focused on the bed he should be laying in. The Nomad moved into the room toward the bed with purposeful strides. The door behind her slid shut, he could see Mama Welles trying to peek curiously inside before her view was closed off.

She was wearing her typical leather jacket, green bodysuit and tight blue jeans. He couldn’t help notice she was… dirty. Dusty. Was that… _ blood  _ on her leg? She spun toward him, a panicked look on her face. They both froze.

It was definitely blood. There was a small cut above her eyebrow and a bruise starting at her collarbone. She was staring at him, her face unreadable, but so damn beautiful. For once the sun didn’t hurt his eyes as it illuminated her frame. An angel come to Earth.  _ Stop V. _ He attempted to clear his head, she needed to be seen by Vik. She was injured. He took a careful step forward, his energy levels were already waning, he wouldn’t be able to stay on his feet much longer. 

She stayed where she was, leaned against his bed, the look on her face sliding from panic to fear to anger to… something else. He crossed the room in a few more strides to stand before her. Tenderly he lifted his right hand and ran it along the bandaged cut above her eyebrow. Panam stared at his face in consternation. He frowned in concern as his hand dropped to her collarbone and he gently probed the skin there, looking for further, deeper injuries. She hissed and reached up to grip his hand in her own.

“You’re injured.” He observed quietly. She attempted to shake her head dismissively.

“‘M fine.” She whispered, unable to stop  _ looking _ at him. He was alive. He was breathing, speaking, smiling even.

He brought their joined hands to his lips. Pressing a soft kiss to each of her, bruised, knuckles. She continued to stare at him like she didn’t believe he was real, her hard eyes beginning to soften. Carefully he brought her hand around his neck, he dropped both of his to her waist and pulled her close. The mechanic hesitated for a moment before bringing her other arm up and around him, burying her nose in his throat. Panam could feel him pressing butterfly kisses to the side of her head, she pulled him closer.

V couldn’t tell how long they stood there, beside his recovery bed, just holding each other. Neither seemed to want to break the spell that had fallen over them. Eventually Panam would be the one to pull away just enough to lay a gentle kiss to his lips. He reciprocated in kind then pulled her onto the bed with him. She lay across his chest, listening to the sound of his beating heart. He wrapped his arm around her sighing contently.

“I am really, very upset with you.” She mumbled sleepily into his chest.

“I know.” He murmured in response. “But I’d do it again.” Her head lifted from his chest to glare at him. He smiled. “It’s over Panam. The chip, Johnny. All of it.” Her brow furrowed.

“Truly?”

“Looks like you’re stuck with me Palmer. If you’ll have me.” He grinned at her.

“If that is the case.” She rolled to carefully straddle his lap, not wanting to cause him any further injury. For an instant she flashed back to the moment he lay shirtless and unbreathing beneath her. Quickly she shook her head free of the horrid memory and focused on the present moment. A moment where V was breathing and smiling.“This  _ never  _ happens again.” she warned him firmly. “We face everything together. Do you understand me? None of this heroic bullshit.”

“Panam, I..” he tried.

“No V. You  _ scared  _ me. I…” She cleared her throat, remembering both how angry and terrified she had been those 5 days, not knowing if she would ever see him again. “You are an Aldecaldo now. You’re family.” She gave him a significant look, hoping he understood. “You do not have to do anything by yourself anymore. I will always,  _ always  _ have your back. Okay?” He gulped quietly.

Without breaking eye contact he sat up and wrapped his arms around her waist. He nodded before dropping his forehead to the uninjured side of her collar bone. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, hands carding through his dark hair comfortingly. The merc murmured something into her neck that the Nomad didn’t catch. She pulled them apart and looked at him questioningly. Surprisingly, V blushed brightly and turned away bashful. He glanced up at her.

“I know you don’t like to talk about feelings, I know they make you uncomfortable, but I just need to tell you again.” He smiled gently at her. “I love you Panam.” She blushed just as brilliantly as he did.

“You are reckless and a loud mouth and a goddamn fool half the time and if you  _ ever _ admit undying love over the phone to me again I’ll kill you, but…” She shook her head, a familiar fond smile on her face. “I love you V.” He surged forward hungrily pressing his lips to hers, his hands moved from her waist to her perfectly shaped ass. She groaned into their kiss, gently sliding her tongue along his lower lip. This time it was V who moaned as he welcomed her tongue and met it with his own. He slid a hand down her thigh, eager for more, but she pulled back.

“Whoa Tiger.” She sighed. “I don’t think the doctor would sign off on any salacious activities at the moment.”

“He doesn’t have to know.” V grinned suggestively, bucking his hips eagerly into hers. Panam placed a hand on his chest in warning. Unable to stop the delicious sensations he sent scattering through her body, she decided to remove temptation entirely and climbed off his lap. She lay beside him facing the door.

“He is literally on the other side of that door.” She tittered. He remained sitting up, looking down at her longingly. She rolled her eyes. “Stop looking at me like that. You said yourself, we have all the time in the world now.”

“Yes. And what a way to celebrate.” He waggled his eyebrows. She shook her head and laughed before turning serious.

“Are you feeling okay? I didn’t even ask. Any pain?”

“The only pain I felt was the pain of your absence.” He waxed poetically.

“ _ V _ . I mean it…. I saw the fight with Smasher. I know I broke a few of your ribs doing CPR.” She sat up and lightly ran her fingers along the bandages on his ribcage. “Do you need anything?” He frowned at the worry in her face now, he had had round the clock medical for days now. She just returned from driving for hours in the Badlands, where she did a job that had obviously turned violent.

“I’m fine Panam. What about you? What happened?”

“Just some good old fashioned pillaging. There was only a minor complication, an explosion, but everyone turned out fine. No permanent or major damage.” She answered. He raised an eyebrow. “It was a raid. Basically Saul found a way to tunnel into Arasaka from the MagLev Tunnel NightCorp is building to the Badlands. Arasaka was basically unguarded and we managed to avoid most of Militech. I think your spectacle let us get away with a few million eddies worth of hardware from ‘saka.” V whistled impressed.

“Getting across the border gonna be harder with all the extra tech?”

“We’ll see what we found, get rid of as much as we can before we leave, keep what’s useful. Could use your help though.” she smiled slyly at him.

“Preem. I’ll be there.” He grinned, sealing the promise with a kiss. “In fact, I got another piece of tech for you to take if you want. I’d rather snap it in half, but it’s probably worth quite a bit.” V nodded to himself.

“What is it?” V reached up to his neural port again. 

“Wait! V! Stop! Vik said you shouldn’t-” Panam hastily leapt from her side of the bed and reached for Vs arm.

The bedroom door snapped open. Misty, Vik and even Mama Welles all piled in from the hallway. But they were all too late. V ripped the Relic out of his head.

_ Doctor, my eyes, tell me what is wrong. Was I unwise to leave them open for so long? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SONG: Doctor My Eyes - Jackson Browne


	7. The Sun Shines Down on Me

_I’ve turned my back on silly dreams, I’m walking down a lonely road._

No one moved, they dare not even breathe. They stared at V. His eyes had lit up the eerie blue colour they get when downloading a shard or receiving data. He sighed, dropping his chin to his chest heavily, locking his gaze on the relic in his hand on his lap. Panam felt sheer terror freeze her into place. Did V just kill himself after everything they just endured!? What was he thinking?! Was he thinking at all?! He wasn’t moving. _No!_

“What’s wrong with him? What happened?” The Heywood Matron asked, looking alarmed. The others were too frozen in shock to respond. Panam was gaping at him from beside the bed, breathing hard and clenching her hands. Vik had thrown his arms up and clasped his hands atop his head, he was wearing a deep frown and had closed his eyes. Misty had crept slowly toward Vs side, opposite Panam.

“V?” The blonde mystic whispered timidly, she poked his shoulder.

“Huh? What?” The merc looked up startled. His eyes were half glazed, like he was waking from an intense dream. Slowly he reached up and gingerly rubbed his temples. Then he smirked and lifted the damaged Relic into the air. “Told you.”

At once the room started to breathe again. Misty backed away until her back hit a wall which she promptly collapsed against and slid down tiredly, hugging her knees and shaking slightly. Vik stared at V from his stool absolutely flabbergasted, arms still raised above his head. Panam was fuming. 

“You _fucking_ gonk!” She cried giving his right arm a good punch. “We said to wait! You could have just killed yourself! God you’re such a...”

“Ow! Panam stop! Ow! I knew it would work!” V defended, while trying to duck more wayward swings from his lover.

“Bullshit! The Ripper didn’t even know!” She told him as her eyes filled with angry tears. “We didn’t know if your brain was still formed V! You could’ve had a puddle of brain goop in your head! Vik hasn’t been able to get a proper scan of your head since we found you!” She started to pace in an attempt to work off the nervous and angry energy that had been stored in my body since that night V had first called her. Guadalupe looked at her impressed. “What the fuck V?”

“My brain is fine.” V grumbled, chagrined.

“Care to fill us in on _how_?” Vik asked.”Because my state of the art equipment can’t even tell us that.”

“Because my brain was _fucked up_ before the Relic and your ‘state-of-the-art’ equipment didn’t pick it up then.” V spat, surprising everyone with the venom in his voice. Vik jerked back with a frown, Panam spun back toward him with a shocked look on her face, Misty and Mama Welles gasped. Shit. “Fuck. ‘M sorry.” He sighed, hugging his knees to his chest. The room was quiet, each person trying to gather their thoughts.

“Maybe it’s best if we start from the beginning.” Panam suggested. “The Relic, Silverhand, Arasaka… your brain.” She sat next to him on the bed again and put a hand on his knee. “Maybe over some food?” She asked the room.

Several minutes later the group had migrated to the kitchen. Guadalupe had set root in front of the meal prep area making synth-meat carnitas. V had only been given a soothing tea and some sodium crackers to eat. Misty had gone over to the sink to wash her hands and Panam casually draped her jacket on the back of her chair.

“You’ve been too long without a real meal, hijo. We don’t want to upset your stomach.” Mama Welles had told him. Miserably he picked at the crackers while everyone else got themselves a plate of food. Panam grabbed a few beers from the fridge, handing one to each of the others before finally taking her seat next to him and handing him a lemonade. Her eyes were filled with concern, but she had a small secret smile on her lips. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders seeking to comfort her, she gave his thigh a squeeze before turning to her meal.

“Alright V.” Vik dropped his plate to the table across from the merc. “Out. All of it.” Misty floated to his other side and sat quietly nursing her beer. Guadalupe stayed standing, leaned against the counter watching him. He gulped. Where to start? Hesitantly he glanced at Mama Welles.

“‘Bout a year ago- ahem- Jack... Jackie came to me with a job.” He picked at a cracker. “Dexter DeShawn was looking for a crew for a klep job.”

“Dexter DeShawn? That shitty Voodoo Boy Fixer? He came back?” Vik asked around a mouthful of food. Mama Welles reached forward and lightly smacked the back of his head with a warning look.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full.”

“Dex thought he was hot shit. Always throwing his weight around at Afterlife.” Panam sipped her beer and smirked. “He didn’t have his own crew?”

“Nah. Dex didn’t operate like that. He just picked up Solos and Mercs. Said he had an _‘intuition_ ’ about these things.” V scoffed. “He had a client, Evelyn Parker, wanted us to klep an experimental chip from Yorinobu Arasaka.”

“Dios mio Jackie.” Against the counter Guadalupe had brought her hands to her face.

“Why would you ever agree to do that?!” Panam gaped. Guilty V cast a glance to Mama Welles again. Misty smiled and reached for his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

“Jackie wanted to be a Legend. Like the greats. Morgan Blackhand, Adam Smasher or Johnny Silverhand. Jaquito Welles.” V explained with a warm smile. “I would’ve followed Jackie to hell and back. He wanted the job, I was gonna do the job. But I was gonna make damn sure it was legit.”

“That worked well.” Vik sarcastically sneered. Guadalupe smacked the back of his head again while the other two women frowned. V nodded sadly.

“The gig _was_ going well. We got into the Tower, made it to Yorinobus suite, even got the Relic. That’s when all hell broke loose.” He could remember the fear and the heartache. His best and only friend, gone. “Saburo Arasaka showed up.”

“Wait..” Panam wondered, was V there the day Saburo Arasaka died?

“T-Bug, our netrunner, found us a hidey hole but… It was not good. Watched Yori kill his father with my own eyes. The alarms sounded. T-Bug got fried. We had to jump. Jackie..”

“No. No more.” Guadalupe pushed herself from the counter and marched out the front door. V immediately made to follow her, to do what he didn’t know, apologize maybe? But Vik held up a hand.

“I got her V. I’ll call her a cab.” He stood to follow the older woman.

“Call Delamain Vik. Tell ‘im V wants Excelsior. He’ll get her home.” V called after the Ripper. 

“Actually V, I’ll take her home.” Misty had stood from the table.

“Misty? Are you okay? I’m sorry if I-”

“It’s… It’s fine V. I know the story.” She couldn’t hide the hoarseness in her voice. “I’ll get her home safe and I’ll come back in the morning.” She glanced at Panam. “Breakfast?”

“I’ll be here.” The Nomad promised. The two shared a nod and then Misty was gone.

“Dammit. I didn’t mean to upset everyone.” V muttered as he angrily rubbed his hand over his face. 

“Stop V.'' She pulled his hands away and held them in her own. “The story is upsetting. _You_ are not upsetting… Most of the time.” She joked lightly. “I guess that was Jackies mom huh?”

“Yeah.” He croaked.

“What happened after you jumped?”

“Jackie took a hit to the liver from a drone, he was bleedin’ out fast. The container for the chip was damaged, the chip integrity was falling. Jackie kept insisting we save it, I didn’t even think just slotted it in and grabbed him.” V explained, knotting their fingers together absentmindedly, nervously. 

“You put an _experimental chip_ in your head?” She asked, incredulous. The front door slid open and Vik joined them again.

“Didn’t have time to worry about it. I needed to get it and Jackie outta there before we got turned into paste. How’s Mama and Misty?” He asked the Ripper as he pulled his hands away from Panam.

“They’ll be okay.” the older man grunted as he dug through the kitchen cabinets, looking for something. “Aha!” He pulled a bottle of whiskey from a shelf and collected a couple shot glasses as well. He placed them on the table before finally taking a seat himself. “These aren’t for you choomba.” The ripper laughed looking at V over his thick framed glasses. He poured the shots and passed one to Panam. “You’re gonna need it.” The pair tossed back the shots before turning their full attention back to V.

“Where was I?

“You just slotted an experimental chip in your head.” Panam supplied helpfully, though she looked more annoyed than helpful. Her elbow rested on the table, she supported her chin in her palm as she scrutinized him with her dark eyes.

“Ah. Right. So we fight our way out to the parking lot, Jackie bleeding all over the place. Delamain, who was Dexs hookup at that point, straight up refused to go anywhere but the drop point. Jackie died there in the car, in my arms, while I begged that stupid fucking AI to take us to a Ripper.” Vik poured himself another shot. Panams arms circled his shoulders in a comforting side hug.

“Drop point was No-Tell Motel. Just Dex and his huscle in the room. He’s pissed. Talks about running away again. Asks for the Relic. Something stank in there and it wasn’t the motel. I told him I didn’t have it. His huscle knocked me a good one, I was…” He faltered. “I was on the ground and yelling. Dex pulled out a gun.” Panams fingers were clutching at his shirt now. “ _Bang_.” He breathed. Involuntarily his right hand lifted to touch the back of his head, where he could still feel the cold steel pressing against his skull. One of Panams hands followed, she gently held the back of his head and pulled him closer.

“Goddammit.” Panam whispered into the fabric of his shirt. He reached up and stroked the arm around him affectionately. She was not gonna like the next part, the mercenary nestled deeper into her arms and signalled that Vik should pour a few more shots.

“I died.”

“No.” She grumbled childishly.

“I died.” He affirmed. “They drove my body out to the Landfill and dumped me. No more Jackie Welles. No more V.” He stared into space as he spoke next. “Except… _I woke up._ The chip, it got damaged when Dex… executed me. Rewired my neural network and rebooted me back up. Goro found me, dropped Dex, dragged me to Viks and… voila Johnny Silverhand makes his appearance.”

Panam pulled away to take a shot and then another.

“Vik explains the whole engram thing to me. I start my crusade and well.. You know the rest. Just tried to survive after that.”

“What about Mikoshi? The ‘Prison of Souls’ you were trying to tell me about when you…” She trailed off. 

“Right. So. To make an engram that is an entire person into ones and zeros, ‘saka used a program developed by the best Netrunner NC has ever seen. Alt Cunningham. Soulkiller. Get hit with Soulkiller and the body is basically turned into a vegetable and the ‘soul’ is confined to Mikoshi. Forever.”

“Holy..”

“...Shit.”

“I know. Saburo tried to use it on Alt first, but she escaped into the net. That was over 50 years ago.”

“She’s the AI who helped you hit The Tower.” Panam guessed.

“Yup. She wanted Mikoshi and the souls in it.”

“Why?” Vik asked after taking a long pull from his beer.

“I’m not really sure. She and Johnny said something about the other souls being integrated into Alt, making her even more powerful?”

“ _Eww!_ She wanted to absorb those poor peoples souls?!” Panam cried in disgust.

“Alt wasn’t really human anymore, the souls weren’t souls but just additional programs to be added to her software. Some of them had been there a long time. Nearly 50 years for Johnny. Even if I could offer them freedom I wouldn’t even know where. They had no more bodies. I don’t know what kind of havoc thousands of random souls being released into the Net and beyond the Blackwall would even do.” Vik and Panam gulped at the implication.

“Getting into The Tower and getting Alt into Mikoshi was supposed to get her the info she’d need to detangle Johnny from my brain.”

“How?” Vik asked skeptically. V hesitated. “V?”

“Alt would have to turn me into an Engram. Then she could untangle my ones and zeros from Johnnys’ ones and zeros.”

“ _What_?” Panam gasped. “She used that program on you?!”

“No!” V exclaimed at once. “No, I’m not an Engram. This… This is where shit gets complicated. Alt told me that my brain has been altered.”

“Well yeah, you had Johnny fucking Silverhand wreaking havoc on it for almost a year.” Vik rolled his eyes.

“No. Vik it was altered _before_ that.” V gave his older mentor a significant look, Viks eyes widened.

“Before that? How?” Panam asked, confused.

“That _motherfucker!_ ” Vik stood from his seat in anger. He stomped around the table and pointed his finger into Vs face. “What did he do to you!?”

“Whoa! Whoa! Hey!” Panam shouted. She also stood and gentle shoved the doctor out of Vs personal space. 

“If I ever see that asshole I’m gonna hand him over the Maelstromers with absolute glee! Where’s my phone? I gotta get Padre on Holo.” Vik was raving mad, stomping around the kitchen and living area before patting down his pockets looking for the elusive device.

“Vik wait, relax okay. I’m fine. Preem in fact. Just calm down a minute.” V paced after the Ripper.

“Calm down! Calm down!? When Padre finds out…”

“Padre doesn’t need to know. You don’t even know what I’m gonna tell you!” V pleaded.

“Hey!” Panam shouted, shoving herself between the two men. “Take a breath!” Vik was heaving, looking ready for a fight. V looked so young, in the moment, like a teenager asking an older brother not to tattle to their parents. He sent her an embarrassed glance. “We good?” She asked after a moment. Vik just grunted and pushed passed her back into the kitchen. He plopped himself back in his chair miserably and sent the couple a look that said ‘we ain’t done yet.’ Panam ignored him.

“You okay?” She turned to V and placed a hand on his cheek. Hoping to calm whatever anxiety had his heart racing and his breathing laboured.

“Preem.” He croaked. The merc turned his head to place a kiss on her palm before taking her hand in his own and walking back to the table. They sat quietly, Panam watching Vik for anymore outbursts.

“What did he do?” Vik demanded again.

“Who?” The Nomad asked them both.

“My father.” V pulled his hand from hers and threaded his fingers together on the table before them. Panam frowned at him. 

“The Militech guy?” 

“Yeah, him.” V chuckled joylessly. “I… I never told you that he.. Ahem. He kidnapped me as a teenager.”

“What? Why?” She reeled back.

“Happens in most big city slums.” Vik offered. “Make the street rats compete for ‘generous’ corporate contracts. When they don’t want to offer contracts though… Corps will go even deeper into the slums and just pull kids they think will ‘benefit’ from corpo intervention. Like they are doing fucking _charity work_ or something. Helping disadvantaged youth.” He snorted. “V, here, already had the advantage of having a CEO for a Father, but the disadvantage of being shoved into the deepest, most infectious corners of NC slums. Kid was doing really well for himself, despite that. He worked, he ate, he slept, he survived.”

“Then he showed up. Outta nowhere.” V continued. “My Mother had been dead for years by then, I didn’t even know who he was.”

“For 2 years, he stuffed the kid full of military grade cyberware that even grizzled veterans struggled to control. And then when V finally starts to fight back and defend himself… They ripped out every piece of hardware. Sent him home blind and broken.” Vik didn’t even bother to pour his next shot, just took a swig directly from the bottle. “I don’t put kids in my chair. Made an exception that day.”

“I was 16, Vik. Not a kid anymore.” V argued weakly.

“They literally left you without eyeballs! And I know your first implant was at 14, V. They installed a _fucking weapon_ into your arm at 14!” The doctor slammed his fists into the table. “Do you not see how _wrong_ that is? They had you uploading suicide daemons! I read the Memory Boost history V! I know every hack and every breach you performed for them.” He took another pull from the bottle. “I know what they put in you, what they took out. You were a _child!”_

V tumbled into lost memories. Things he had tried to repress while living his everyday life. He recalled an afternoon from when he was 15, he could still hear the little girl screaming, he could see how she threw herself on top of a man and shrieked in grief, how he lay unmoving and bleeding from his temple. That had been his breaking point, where he didn’t care if he lived or died, but he vowed to never follow a single order from his father ever again.

“Suicide.. _Shit_.” Panam felt the colour drain from her face. She thought of Mitch. He had tried to explain the excruciating pain that came with losing a limb in favour of the hardware, the fire that raced through his brain as his neural network integrated the new mechanics into his body schematic. Scorpion had nightmares, not of war, but of waking up on the ripper chair more of his limbs and humanity being ripped from his body and mind. The Nomads had always wondered why V seemed so nonchalant about his implants she realised how traumatic their acquisition had really been. His pacifism made sense now too, being forced to watch people kill themselves because of a daemon he uploaded… _Fuck_. 

“V?” she called gently. He refused to meet her gaze, too ashamed and disgusted with himself. “V.” She tried again, this time sliding her hand up his arm until she could lightly grip the farside of his neck. She tenderly ran her thumb back and forth along his spine. Still he remained frozen, unwilling or unable to look away from his hands clasped tightly in front of them. Falling through memories.

“Fucking _asshole._ ” Vik grumbled, earning himself a dangerous glare from the Nomad. “So what was it he put in your head?” When V still hadn’t looked up from his hands Panam gave him a gentle shake. The mercenary blinked himself out of the memories and turned back to the conversation. “Your head, V?” Vik prompted again.

“Alt speculated that they put a memory blocker in or something. Also she had _no idea_ how I was able to access Mikoshi without being an engram….” V grunted in answer. “When I first plugged into Mikoshi I remembered something, I think. But it wasn’t something I forgot? But there was also a voice…” V was confusing himself and the others. He started over. “When I first jacked into Mikoshi I had a flashback. To..uh, to the day… To the day my mother died. She was dead and I was there and then she spoke… Not like from her body, but from _somewhere_. I know it was her voice. _Come find me_..” he dropped his face into his hands. “Something bigger is going on then just Relics and Mikoshi and once again, I’m stuck in the middle.” He said bitterly.

Vik and Panam were quiet as they tried to absorb the overload of information. The older man took yet another swig of the strong amber liquid, he offered it to Panam but she refused, preferring to lay her head on Vs shoulder. He shrugged and polished off the bottle.

“Jesus Christ kid. If you want my opinion…” He glanced at the couple. V had lay his head atop Panams, they had entwined their hands again, both were frowning. “Ride off into the sunset and don’t look back.” The Nomad buried her face in Vs shoulder, wanting with all her heart to disappear into the desert with V but knowing he wasn’t a man that liked to leave loose ends. The Mercenary smiled sadly.

“You know I can’t do that Vik. This ain’t gonna leave me alone and Panam I’m not about to drag you and the Alde-”

“Did you not listen to _anything_ I said earlier!?” Panam pulled away from him with a roar. She stood over his chair and pulled it back from the table. Spinning in front of him she placed her hands on his armrests and leaned right into his face.

“What? Panam!” V blinked in surprise. Vik watched and grinned in gleeful amusement.

“Family, V! You are family!” She poked him hard in the chest. “We are in your corner! You wanna disappear into the desert and never think about Night City again, we can do that. You wanna storm Militech and string your father up by his ears? Give me a little while and we can come up with a plan!” She grabbed his face in her hands and straddled his lap. “V. We are with you. _I_ am with you. What do I have to do to get that _through_ to you?”

“Panam.” He whispered. The mercenary reached for the hands cradling his face. He couldn’t help the awed smile that was breaking out across his face. _How is she so amazing?_ She frowned.

“Why are you smiling at me like that?” She asked crossly. “I’m trying to be angry with you.”

“‘Cause I love you.” he smiled goofily up at her. The Nomads mouth popped open in surprise before she blushed brightly and ducked her head embarrassed. He pulled her down and kissed her tenderly, only for her to push him back against his seat and deepen the kiss. Memories of their first time in the Basilisk flooded his mind and he worked hard to keep from moaning. 

“That is not going to keep surprising me if you keep saying it.” She growled into his mouth. The Nomad pulled away and he tried to follow her lips but she vacated his lap. Leaving him feeling cold and strangely empty. Only then did he notice her Holo chiming. She was still glaring at him as she wiped her now swollen lips. “I’ll be back in a moment.” She turned and strode out the front door, Vs eyes never left her swaying hips. “What’s up Saul?”

Vik whistled lowly making V startle in surprise, he had forgotten about the Ripper for a moment. The older man let out a quiet chuckle and stood to collect the dishes and clean what he could of the kitchen. Which meant everything on the counter just got shoved into the trash and the dishes crashed into the sink.

“You better marry that girl, V.” He advised the younger man wisely. 

“I know.” V replied hoarsely. The Ripper nodded approvingly then motioned for the young man to follow him back into the bedroom.

“Here.” Without asking permission the Ripper jabbed another nutrient booster into Vs chest. The mercenary squawked in pain and protest. “If you do get up to any _mischief_ well… Try to take it easy at least. Your tank is still a little low. Get my drift junior?”

“Son of a bitch Vik.” V pouted. He gingerly rubbed the spot on his chest the Ripper had just essentially stabbed him. “Got it.”

“What is it? What happened?” Panam darted into the room. She replaced Vs hand with her own, gently caressing the sensitive area. Her brow was furrowed in anxiety which drew Vs attention to the dark circles under her eyes. Fuck. How selfish had he been? Panam had probably been frantic for the last… _Jesus_! 10 days. She looked exhausted and here she was fretting over him because he was being a wimp about a little needle.

“It’s alright. Vik was just giving me another booster.”

“Yup. You should be good until morning V. You can start on real food, but take it easy. Try toast. I’d like to do one last scan and then you’re home free pal.” The Doctor clapped his hand on Vs shoulder with a smile. “Now call up your Delamain, I’m missing the fight!”

The couple said their goodbyes to Vik and retired to the bedroom. Panam was beginning to stumble, she was so tired. V directed her toward the bed and she limply dropped onto the edge. He bent down and removed her boots.

“We still have a lot to discuss V.” Panam reminded him drowsily. He reached for her utility belt, quickly unbuckling and removing it. Then he maneuvered her so she was laying flat on her back and began to remove her jeans.

“I know, but right now all we need is a good night's sleep. You can yell at me all you want in the morning.” He murmured quietly. He appreciated the view of her tanned, creamy thighs for only a moment before covering her in a blanket. Immediately she pulled blankets close and curled into a ball away from him.

“I’m holding you to that.” She yawned. He grinned and quickly removed his own jeans and T-shirt.

“I’m just gonna hold you, if that’s ok?” He dove into the bed behind her and pulled her flush to his chest. They sighed happily. “Good night Panam.”

“Night, V.” 

  
  


_And the sun shines down on me, I want to feel like I deserve it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SONG: The Sun Shines Down On Me - Daniel Johnston
> 
> Hey Folks!
> 
> It's my first note! Just wanted to thank everyone for reading and leaving comments. This is the first time I put any of my work on the internet, it's nice to see it's appreciated. 
> 
> I do have a question for you all. I rated this fic M because I have plans for some more tragic/violent scene for later on in the story. But I'm also finding places for some ... Saucier scenes as well.
> 
> Just want to know peoples thoughts. Yay or Nay on the smut?


	8. Green Valley

_ Hello Stranger, can you tell us where you’ve been?  _

Panam sighed gently. She had been sleeping rather soundly after V had woken them in the night panicking at the darkness. It had taken opening the window and allowing the bright, distant city lights to illuminate the room in a faint glow for him to finally fall back into a peaceful sleep. She had followed him back into unconsciousness not long after, with his head tucked beneath her chin. The room was brighter now, the sun had come up, and she could feel Vs lips against her skin. He was leaving a trail of kisses from her sternum, along her collarbone up to her shoulder.

“Good morning.” He purred into her ear. His rough hands wandered freely about her body pulling at the fabric of her bodysuit. 

“Seems like it might be.” She teased breathily. The Nomad turned her head to kiss him languidly, lazily. One of his hands palmed her breast through her shirt. “Oh.” The mercenary grinned but didn’t pull away from her lips, he moved his hand further up tugging on the sleeves of her shirt. No further instruction needed, Panam sat up pulling him with her. With her lower lip trapped between her teeth she slowly lowered one side of the suit and then the other, freeing her chest. Vs eyes were dark with want, he surged forward.

“Need to see all of you.” He said into the skin of her jaw, his hands tugged on the suit until she lifted her bottom and he could throw the offending garment aside. Her skin tasted like honey, he couldn’t help the need to kiss, lick and nip. He was an addict. She gripped the bottom of his tank top and ripped it over his head in one go. He blinked in surprise.

“The feeling is very much mutual.” She told him seriously. Her eyes roam over his new scars and injuries sadly. Gently she reached out and touched the fresh pink scar running along his ribs. She remembered the blood seeping weakly onto the dirt, no heartbeat to encourage the bleeding. Her hand began to tremble. “Are you okay? I don’t want to do anything that could hurt you.” He caught her hand in his own and pulled her into a hug. Her arms wrapped tightly around him and she tried to fight a sudden onslaught of tears. V could feel her shaking in his arms.

“Hey, hey. I’m here. I’m alright.” V soothed affectionately. He pulled them back down to the bed with her curled on top of his chest. “You found me. You saved me.” Her head was shaking in the negative and her fingers had clenched into a fist on his chest. “What? Of course you did. I know you’re the only one who knew it was me at Arasaka. It was you that called Rogue wasn’t it? If you didn’t call Rogue, she wouldn’t have called River.” He remembered the cold, he remembered the dark. “I would’ve died out there.” 

“I shouldn’t have had to call Rogue!” She pulled away angry. “I should’ve  _ been _ there V!” 

“No.” He answered immediately. 

“Excuse me!?” She roared. She sat up and faced him with fire in her eyes, he followed her up.

“No, Panam. There was no way I was bringing you,  _ the best thing that has ever happened to me,  _ into fucking Arasaka! I did that once before and ‘saka killed ‘im dead. I was not going to let that happen to you.” He roared right back.

“And if it were me? If I had had to storm Arasaka to save my life? Would you have let me go alone?” Her eyes flashed dangerously. He faltered. “I should have been given a  _ choice  _ V.” Tiredly she dropped back to the bed pulling an arm over her eyes.

“That’s… That’s different.” V could tell how weak an argument he was making.

“Shut up V.” She raised her hand and carefully slapped it against his chest. He caught her hand and held it to his chest as he lay down beside her. “I think you forget that you changed my life for the better too.” she mumbled quietly, turning toward him and splaying her hand over his heart. “ _ You _ are the best thing that has ever happened to me V. Before you... I slept in my truck in alleys and on the side streets of Night City. I had left my clan. I had no family.” she raised her hand to cup his cheek.

“What about Scorpion or Mitch? They cared about you.” He frowned. His fingers had found her hips, they were tracing invisible doodles into her skin.

“Of course they did. But they were my _ clan _ , not my _ family _ . Demonstrated that on our first gig together. They offered gear, but not help.” She reminded him. “Nomadic law. Protect your family, protect your clan. In that order.”

“Damn. You guys are big on that huh?” His hands and fingers traced along her spine now.

“It’s how we as Nomads survive. Otherwise we’d be no better then Raffen Shiv.” She sighed. “Point is.. Somewhere along the way you became part of the Aldecaldo family but also _ my  _ family.”

“Panam..”

“I need you to understand V.” She whispered, tracing his bottom lip with her thumb. He exhaled shakingly.

“I… I… I can try Panam.” She frowned and started to pull away. He locked her into his arms. “No, wait.” He begged. “I never had _ family _ Panam. Like ever. I’m not even sure who cared for me as a baby. I mean there’s no way I could feed myself right? And there's no way my mother was capable...” He shook his head. “If I ever found anything worthwhile I would hide it. On the streets nothing is yours. My mother would take any food I could bring home, her friends would take anything of value. I had a Tyger Claw gangoon break my nose ‘cause Ma sold the broken laptop I was supposed to fix for him. She used the eddies to get high or something. Vik had to fix my nose next time I snuck out of that place.”

“V…”

“I never had nice things. Good things. To own or to experience.” He pulled her closer and buried his nose into the crook of her neck. “And you, Panam… I want to hide you away from the world. I don’t want anyone to know how brightly you shine, how truly wonderful you are, because they will try to take you from me. They will hurt you and break you, just because _ I  _ want you. They took my mother, they took Jackie, I can’t let them have you. I know enough to know that family isn’t like that. I don’t know if I know  _ how  _ to be a family.”

“Hey, hey. Family is very much like that.” The Nomad ducked her head so their foreheads pressed together. “No matter how hard you try, even if I _ let _ you, you can’t hide me away forever. I have my own enemies besides that. But don’t you think we would both be stronger,  _ together _ ?” his hands tracked fiery trails up her back.

“Together?” He growled. Their lips had migrated toward each other, they were breathing each other's air.

“You and me.  _ Family. _ ” She rolled to straddle his lap. Her hands roamed his chest before travelling downward, toying with the edge of his boxers. “Love, trust, respect. That’s all it takes.”

“I love you so much.” He groaned, feeling her hand cup him through his underwear. He moved his hands to her ass and squeezed firmly. She leaned over him and gazed at him seriously. “I trust you more than anyone I’ve ever known.” His hips followed her hand as she withdrew pleading for warmth and friction. “And I respect the hell out of you.”

“Yeah?” she breathed just over his mouth.

“Yeah.” 

“Then let me  _ help _ you next time!” She growled and surged forward allowing their lips to crash together heatedly. V moved his hands from her firm, shapely rear to her hips so he could grind them into his own. The Nomad groaned and pulled away from his lips to leave a path of kisses down his body. Her lips spent extra time at the scars along his ribs and the top of his hip. She grabbed hold of his boxers and slowly lowered them down his hips, kissing each newly exposed patch of skin. 

“God..” He groaned.

“No. Just Panam.” She smiled wickedly before freeing him of his boxers and taking his sex in her hand. V threw his head back and hissed in pleasure, unintentionally bobbing his hips to her gentle strokes. Panam chuckled quietly. “V. Look at me.” With a helpless whimper the mercenary raised his head to meet her eye. Panam had positioned herself in between his legs, as soon as their eyes met she dipped her head to take him in her mouth. She never broke eye contact.

The sounds that came out of his mouth were not English, but Panam enjoyed them and understood all the same. She pulled back to swirl her tongue around the head of his organ and took him in again. Vs head fell back to the bed and he let out a shaky whimper, he was starting to see stars. Her hands, her mouth, her tongue.  _ Too much! Too much!  _ If she kept up like this he was going to blow before he wanted too. 

“Panam. Arugh.. Oh Jesus… Fuuuuuuck. I’m gonna.. I’m..” He felt the cold morning air on his now soaked appendage as she pulled back smiling innocently.

“What if I want you too?” He could feel her lips moving against the skin of his shaft.

“Ahhh… Panam. I’m not sure how many rounds I got in me. Plus isn’t Misty supposed to show up for breakfast?” She was pulling on him with her hand now, the sensations were dulled but he still felt like he was on a precipice.

“So?” She frowned. “We have all the time in the world to get off now. I want to do this for you.” He groaned… God why was she so _ fucking hot?!  _ Still he shook his head.

“With you.” He insisted. “In you.” Her eyes darkened.

Slowly she crawled back up his body, his hands reached for her instantly. Their lips once again crashed together and their tongues battled for supremacy. V rolled them over and positioned himself between her legs. He felt Panams arms circle his neck and her legs wrap loosely around his hips. Their bodies rolled against each other, he could feel the heat coming from her centre as he glided his hand along her thigh. He slipped a hand between them and ran his fingers through her soaked, velvety lips. They both groaned. The mercenary looked at his output and raised his fingers to his mouth and sucked them clean.

“V.” She crooned.

He grinned salaciously at her and dipped his fingers to her lower lips once more. Slowly he circled her entrance, once, twice, he dipped a single finger inside her. Her hips bucked. The Merc waggled his eyebrows at her and added another finger and began to pump them into her. Panams back arched off the bed and her hands gripped his shoulders tightly.

“Ugh. Yes. V..” He switched his hand position allowing Panams bucking hips and his pumping hand to rub her clit against his rough palm. “ _ Oh! _ ” She squeezed his fingers tightly. He moaned appreciatively.

“So beautiful.” V watched. He watched the way her body took in his fingers. The way her hips and body would shutter if she hit his palm  _ just  _ right. Continuing to pump to his fingers inside of her he dipped his head to her chest. The licked his way up to the valley between her breasts before taking her right breast in his mouth. He flicked his tongue over the already hardened nub of her nipple then quickly switched to her other breast. One of her hands had moved to grip the hair on the back of his head and pressed him harder into her chest. He gently nipped at her nipple making the Nomad gasp.

“V… Inside. Please.” Never one to make a lady beg V withdrew from her chest and pulled his fingers from her once more. He moved to lean over her and position himself, but his shoulder had started to ache terribly. He let out a pain filled groan. She had sobered at once. “What’s wrong? What is it?”

“I’m fine Pan. Just my shoulder.” He winced as he rotated the offending joint. She hummed in sympathy.

“Poor baby. Here.” She rolled them so that she straddled his lap again. “Is this okay?” He reached up with his good arm and palmed her breast, squeezing her nipple and nodding eagerly.

“Very okay. Very, very okay.” He agreed. She rolled her eyes but smiled.

“Gonk.” She lifted herself up a little higher and took hold of his member. He gasped and bucked. Carefully she ran his head through her folds, lubricating him enough to journey inside. “Mmm.” She hummed. When she was sure they were ready she sent him a look. He gulped and nodded. She slowly lowered herself on him, her mouth dropped open into an ‘o’ shape. Unhurriedly she bobbed on his cock a few times before taking him all the way inside.

“Aaah. Shit.” V grabbed her hips and held her still. “So tight.” He panted. The Nomad was smirking at him from above and he rolled his eyes good naturedly. Gently he encouraged her hips to begin moving on his. She leaned over him and pulled his bottom lip into her mouth. He groaned and reached for her ass cheeks. He squeezed the muscular mounds of flesh in his hands, pulling her faster and harder onto him.

“Oh fuck.” She gasped breaking their kiss. Unable to help himself he reached up with both hands to fondle her chest, he ignored the throbbing in his shoulder. Panam pushed herself up. She left her hands on his chest and began to rock her hips against his faster. Vs hands trailed up her arms to grasp her elbows, he started to meet her thrusts with his own.

Their eyes met. V was amazed at the intensity in her chocolate eyes. She was looking at him like…  _ Like he had died and come back to life _ . But that’s what he did though, isn’t it? No one has ever looked at him that way. With a small smile he realized he only ever wanted  _ her _ to look at him like that. Jubilant he reached up around her neck and pulled her down for a desperate kiss. When they broke for air V couldn’t help wincing and attempting to stretch out his shoulder. Panam rolled her eyes but pressed a kiss to the side of his jaw and pushed herself up once again.

She leaned back and gripped his ankles. Her eyes fluttered closed at the new sensations caused by the angle change, but smirked knowing she was well out of his reach for now. V watched as once again her body took him inside of her. Her hand was roaming her own chest, squeezing and pinching, her head was thrown back, he could see beads of sweat rolling down her muscular abdomen… _ Fuck it was so erotic! _ He slipped a hand to her clit, she squeezed him so tightly he saw stars.

“Ah!” She gasped.

“Holy fuck! Ugh.” His hips jerked up to meet her. He could feel the muscles in her thigh begin to quake as she approached her summit.

“V.. Oooooohh. So close.” her hips pumped uncoordinatedly against his, he could feel her squeeze him again. “Oh.  _ Fuck _ .”

“I’m.. I’m.” He was panting. He grabbed her hips once more, planted his feet and pumped up into her with everything he had.

“Oh. Oh!  _ Oh! _ ” Panam tumbled into oblivion, squeezing him so tightly he followed her into bliss and exploded inside her an instant later. She collapsed against his chest breathing heavily. His arms wrapped around her. 

“Ugghhhh.” V twitched sensitively. He let out a breath. “Wow.” 

“I know right?” Panam asked with an impressed chuckle. V let out a hearty laugh and kissed the top of her head.

“My family.” He lowered his head and kissed her tenderly. The Nomads' eyes lit up brightly even as they filled with tears. She cupped his cheek.

“Yes V.  _ Your _ family. I love you.” 

* * *

“What are you grinning at over there?” she asked with a grin of her own. After a shower and breakfast Vik had given V the all clear and the couple had wasted no time packing what little the Merc had and piling into her truck for the journey back to camp. He was sitting in the passenger seat watching the wide expanse of barren land speed along beside them. The ride had been quiet thus far, Panam was curiously anxious about something and he didn’t want to push. Their talk that morning had been good, but there were still things that clearly needed to be discussed. At her question he smiled wider and answered.

“Just thinking about the future. Family.” And he had been. Especially now that he had a future to look forward too. The mercenary knew he would have to deal with his family issues and soon, but for now he was going to celebrate. That meant all sorts of wonderful, future scenarios were tumbling about in his head. For just a moment he could see Panam seated behind the wheel with a full pregnant belly, glowing. Or he could hear the small voices of their children calling to them from the backseat of her truck. _ Momma. Daddy. _

“Oh really?” she interrupted his musings with a concerned smile. “All good I hope?”

“The best.” He smiled serenely. Making her snort in amusement.

“Do I want to know what your future holds?” She teased lightly.

“Only one thing I know about my future that’s consistent.” V told her.

“Trouble?” The Nomad offered sarcastically.

“No!” He paused. “Well alright, two things then. Trouble… and you.” He reached across the centre console and placed his hand high on her thigh, just teasingly dipping his fingers toward her centre. She snatched his hand away and tried to send him a warning look, though not a very effective one.

“If I wreck my truck because of you…” She cautioned while smiling brightly.

“I’ll buy you a new one.” he shrugged easily and sent her a teasing grin. She brought their joined hands to her lips and pressed a kiss to his knuckles.

“I don’t want a new truck. I like mine.”

“Then we will rebuild.” He declared goofily. She smiled.

“You’re in a good mood.”

“Should I not be? I survived my greatest challenge to date, I got the girl..” She snorted. “I’m heading.. Home? I think.” She squeezed the hand she still held.

“Yes. Home. If that’s what you want?”

“Well we basically just got married, I guess we should start living together.” He mused quietly beside her.

“We… We what?” She dropped his hand in surprise and turned her focus from the expansive highway to him. Her cheeks had taken a lovely pink hue.

“Oh. Umm…” He reached to scratch the back of his head embarrassed. “ _ Family _ .” She just chuckled nervously. “I have always known family as.. Well, like some sort of combination of husbands and wives.. Maybe a few kids.”

“ _ Kids _ ?” she gasped.

“I mean.. If it happens.” He shrugged. 

“You want to be my husband?” She asked, shocked. Then she blinked because that sounded  _ way nicer _ than she thought it would. “Married?”

“I just figured that’s how the camp will see it. I mean, I’m with you first Panam and the Aldecaldos second. Family before clan.” He grinned sheepishly. She thought deeply. 

“I figured the whole jumping into marriage thing was a Nomad stereotype.” She tried to joke. In the time the couple had known each other Panam had seen two other couples at camp meet, date and enter the lifelong commitment. It wasn’t that she was opposed to marriage either, but there were certain responsibilities spouses would have to take on for each other. Certain status changes within the ‘society’ of the camp would occur too... And _ kids _ , Jesus, that was a topic Panam ran from screaming. 

“It makes sense why you’d do it.” He offered. “If you don’t want to Panam that’s alright. I get it. You’ve got a lot on your plate with helping to lead the family, integrating some gonk-ass city boy into Nomad life and now preparing to go over the border… I get if it’s a lot. Just wanted to let you know that… ahem I guess I’m not against it.” They were quiet for a time.

“Our marriage would need to be registered.” She eventually spoke into the awkwardness of the cabin. Her heart was  _ racing _ . Panam Palmer discussing _ marriage _ .

“Huh? What? Where? With who, the government? Why?” He asked, confused.

“With the Aldecaldos.” She told him, smiling. “At the Hub.”

“The Hub?” He was just further confused.

“A central planning and/or meeting place for all Aldecaldo Families. It's just a way to keep track of who is in charge, how many families there are wandering the US, Aldecaldo populations, it’s a huge trading centre as well. If a family starts running into trouble or they have excessive wealth taking it to The Hub is what we do.” She explained. Thinking of the bureaucratic process the ‘caldo Elders put in place for leadership bids and marriage registration. It’s not like there were ridiculous amounts of Aldecaldo Families running around.

“Why are marriages important?”

“They aren’t, typically. So long as new Aldecaldos are being made I don’t think The Hub really cares. But… My brother and I are of the sole survivors of a legacy family and I am also leading a Family. If something were to happen to Saul we would cease to be the Bright family and become the Palmer Aldecaldos.” She directed the truck onto a dirt road leading away from the highway. “If I get married they’d want that on record because if something happened to me, unless there was a major protest, the Family would take my husband's name until a new leader was elected.”

“Oh. Well if something happened to you, something definitely happened to me.” He told her simply. She rolled her eyes.

“Saul and I had been discussing taking the rest of the Arasaka tech there.” Panam said. The truck came upon a cliff's edge, overlooking the Badlands. She cut the engine and gazed out ahead of them for a moment. 

“That sounds like a good idea. That Tech is gonna make us major targets for Shiv and Scavvers alike.” He nodded to her cautiously. He hadn’t anticipated marriage being a sensitive subject, he was happy to stay happily unmarried to her the rest of his life if that was what she wanted. He just figured the Nomads had their own ways of doing things, that she would want some sort of official  _ thing _ to legitimize his presence. “I don’t mean to pressure you Panam. I was just joking.”

“I know.” She mumbled quietly. The Nomad scrutinized him with a frown. 

“Where is this Hub?”

“It used to be outside Albuquerque, but it was moved about 10 years ago. Now it’s outside La Grange.”

_ Get back! _

“What?” He blinked. His sight blurred for a moment, he could see lines of code crawling across his vision, just like when the Relic malfunctioned. Panam slipped out of the vehicle and leaned against the door. Dread filled V. “Fuck.” He exited the truck and slowly walked around to face her. Her arms were crossed on her chest and she was glaring at the dirt at her feet.

“10 years ago Biotechnica was moving a large amount of materials. Livestock, produce, medicine. A real jackpot.” She sighed. “Kang Tao, Militech, Maelstromers and a Family of Aldecaldos. All devastated by a bomb dropped by Militech. Everyone one there was killed. Everyone.” She looked up at him. “My father died there.”

_ Fire, gunshots, screaming. _ V wanted to throw up. His vision began to spasm with images that weren’t really there.

“They moved The Hub there to construct a memorial. An entire segment of the Aldecaldos, a whole family, had been destroyed in that single, evil act.” 

“La Grange…” The ground was shaking, or was it him?

“Do you know anything about what happened there?” She asked nonchalantly.

“..I had heard about the bombs. But I was, ahem, dealing with a lot of my own shit at the time.” He answered nervously. The Nomad stalked away from him taking in the sights the cliffside offered. V felt himself sway dangerously. What the hell is going on? Why was he remembering… What was he remembering?

“Hmm.” She nodded again. “You know, after we found you and Saul called me home… I received some interesting information.”

“Yeah?” He jutted out a hand to steady himself against her car. The visions were getting worse, he could hear the screaming.  _ Get back! Get back! _ Her back remained to him.

“Seems the whole incident was a setup.” 

“How..?” Vs eyebrows shot upward. 

“Apparently some big wig up at Militech. His son broke into his files and leaked the convoy info to basically anyone in the vicinity. Daddio didn’t like that and decided to teach everyone a lesson by dropping a bomb.  _ And then they blamed the Nomads. _ ”

“I remember…”

“There are a few at camp.. They think it was you who leaked the information. They want to blame you for the bomb.”

“I didn’t drop a bomb..” His knees quaked under his weight and his head bowed. The smell of smoke and the heat of a nonexistent fire were overwhelming his senses. It felt like someone was trying to split his head open.

“I know.” She responded sadly. “...But V, after the story you told me last night… It’s not that crazy a stretch to think that, maybe, you were the one who leaked the info?”

“How.. How..” His world turned off.

* * *

_ Fire. Gunshots. Explosions. Screaming. _

_ This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. He just wanted to give Militech a taste of their own medicine. He figured that they would be entirely unprepared for an assault from Kang Tao firepower and Maelstrom chaos. There weren’t supposed to be people here.  _ Why  _ were there people here? _

_ A shriek. _

_ “Look out!” _

_ Ahead, a blue glow. What was that? It was expanding, getting closer and closer, it crackled with electricity. Then shrieks were stopping abruptly, cut off halfway out their owners throats. His sight filled with the dome of electricity. He screamed as his muscles contracted and contorted painfully, ripping bone from sinew. His vision was filled with flashing orbs of colour. The electricity danced across his brain, he continued screaming in agony. And then…. _

_ It was over. He woke in the night face down in the dirt. It was hours later. It was silent. No more gunfire, no more screaming. He groaned painfully and pushed himself to his feet. For hours he had limped through the wreckage looking for any survivors. He found none. _

_ There were no bodies. _

_ “Find me son…” A red, hot spear pierced his chest. He screamed. _

* * *

When he woke next he was in a tent. His brow furrowed in confusion. _ What happened? _ Faintly he could hear voices. The mercenary took a minute to gather his thoughts and recall what had happened to get him here. He and Panam had had a wonderful morning, then were driving home when he mentioned marriage and she mentioned La Grange.  _ Oh fuck. _

Had he flashed to what happened in La Grange? He didn’t ever remember going to Texas… He had only travelled between NC and his fathers place in Atlanta. Why was he in Texas? How did the Nomads know he was involved? Why are there no bodies? The Netrunner let out a shaky breath and rubbed his hands over his face. Guess the future was getting put on hold.

God, he was responsible for the death of Panams father.

Why had she brought him back here? V clenched his teeth together and fought the tears gathering in his eyes. His existence had brought nothing but misery to those he loved. Maybe she brought him here to face justice. The thought made his heart ache painfully.  _ Fuck.  _ She should’ve just left him to die in that pipe. He sat suddenly, maybe he could sneak out unseen before she returned.

“Ah shit!” He cursed quietly. His head was swimming. He reached up quickly, as if holding his skull still would stop his eyeballs bouncing around. That's when he noticed the bandage wrapped around his head.  _ Too much _ , his body warned. He gagged involuntarily. He tried to stand and stumbled into the storage chests beside the cot.

“V!” Someone called into the tent. He flinched away from the voice and groaned. Without wanting to he collapsed onto his knees. The Merc felt himself start to fall forward, consciousness quickly fading again. 

“Jesus Christ! Is he part fainting goat?” A different voice sounded into the space, someone caught him before he hit the ground.

“Just get him on the cot. Mitch go get Marcus.”  _ Panam. _ Whoever caught him lifted him back into the cot.

“His temperature is still really high.”  _ Saul. _ Their voices floated somewhere above him. It was dark. Why was it dark?

“Your eyes are closed V.” Something cool passed over his forehead. He forced them open, but even the dim sunlight in the tent felt like lances in his eyeballs. He heaved again painfully.

“Shit. Where is the Ripper?” 

“I’m here. Lemme just jack in and..”

He could feel someone foreign accessing his neural network, nothing invasive just a scan of his BioMon. The cool thing slid across his forehead again, soothing the fire raging in his brain. He moaned.

“Temp is ridiculous. Here, I just gotta get into there and.. Thank you.” Something jabbed into Vs arm, he didn’t react. His awareness faded, the voices lowered, he began floating…

* * *

“Ugh.” V whimpered quietly. His head ached fiercely, but at least he could open his eyes. The sun had disappeared and the tent was illuminated by the soft glow of the moon. The air around him was cool. He struggled to sit up but a soft warm hand on his chest pressed him back down into the bed. “Huh?” Blurrily he blinked up at the owner of the hand. “Panam?”

“Stay down.” She ordered. 

“What happened? What’s going on?” Again he tried to struggle up and again she pushed him back down.

“You tell me V.” She was laying beside him on the cot.  _ Why? _ The Nomad loomed over him propped up on her elbow. Her face was unreadable. “You said it was over. Why are you still collapsing on me?”

“I don’t… I can’t remember. Can I please sit up?” He was tired, sore and in no mood.

“No.” She answered simply. “You passed out. Again. What can you remember?” So he thought back, again. The flashback, the car ride, the wonderful morning before that.

“La Grange.” He whispered. Panam swallowed hard.

“Were you the one that told the Aldecaldos about the Biotechnica convoy?” _ No _ , he thought. He remembered specifically choosing factions that no one was going to miss. But… He also remembered being there  _ in  _ La Grange when it happened and the Aldecaldos had definitely been there. Which memory was true? Were they both true? There was one thing that stood out in his jumbled up memories, there hadn’t been a bomb. That pain. Where had he felt that pain before?  _ Holy shit. _

“It wasn’t a bomb…” 

“What?” Her brow furrowed.

“I… I was there Panam! I.. It wasn’t a bomb. Holy _ fuck! _ It wasn’t a bomb!” He knew exactly where he had felt that pain. It was in another memory that didn’t belong to him, it belonged to Johnny Silverhand. 

“What the  _ fuck  _ do you mean you were there?” 

“I had a flashback. I… I was there. I could hear guns and feel fire and then…” He exhaled shakily. “I’m so sorry Panam.” The panic from the memory and the realisation that he would lose the family he had fought so hard to gain made him gasp frantically. “I’m so.. I’m sorry. I didn’t..” He was falling back into the horror. Guilt, terror and hatred closed in on him. It was so dark. 

“V!” She cried. She leapt forward cupping his face and wiping away tears. When had he started crying? “What is going on?” she asked him worriedly.

“No one was supposed to be there!” He burst. “Just me… Just me.”  _ Who cares if some machines get scrapped, _ a voice from his past echoed through his head.  _ Useless. _

_ “I’m not useless!” _

_ “Prove it” _

“V?” He gazed into her eyes, trying to find the anger or rage or betrayal and all he found was sadness, fear and love.

“I’m starting to remember Panam.” He circled his arms around her neck and brought her forehead down against his. Her eyes widened in understanding.

“Your Father. The implants in your brain.” Her eyes just filled with more worry. “V...”

“I’m scared Panam.”

_ But save your energy, your journey here is far from over. Come sunrise we’ll descend through Judgment Valley. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SONG: Green Valley - Puscifer


	9. The Phantom Agony

_ The future doesn’t pass, and the past won’t overtake the present. All that remains is an obsolete illusion. _

The sun was scorching and the heat was blistering, Panam had no idea why Saul insisted on doing these things out in the open like this. Surely staying put would have been less suspicious. Moving out here into the middle of nowhere? Pure spectacle. It was more likely someone from camp had followed them all the way out here to eavesdrop then anything he could have suspected at camp. She sighed. Saul always did have a flair for the dramatics.

Her gaze turned skyward to the canopy that flapped uselessly in the wind above them. Saul had called a ‘tribunal’, bringing together several different members of the camp from different backgrounds to reach a judgment together. Mitch was there representing the veterans, Cassidy and Ol’ Man Jack represented the ‘Elders’, a farmer named Paul represented the ’civilian core’ of the Family, Dakota was there representing herself, Jeff had reluctantly agreed to represent what Saul called the ‘Tech & Rig Crew’. She and Saul were there as their chiefs, of course. They hadn’t given an official reason for the meeting, but suspicions were high. 

V huffed impatiently next to her, the weather and location doing nothing for his sour mood. Being put on trial probably didn’t help either. Mitch looked up from his work securing the cloth canopy to a stake in the dirt and smiled sympathetically. She watched as V looked away, shame and guilt kept him from meeting anyones eye, her own included. Panam was confused by her feelings about his involvement in the bombing of La Grange, but only a little, she was more hurt by his behaviour. He had iced her out. _ Again. _

The Nomad fought to keep from sighing. She tried not to think about the night she finally brought V  _ home _ . How he had cried himself into a fitfully, nightmare plagued sleep. How he had refused any comfort the next morning, finding an extra tent and secluding himself outside of the camp. At least he had stayed nearby, Panam wasn’t sure what she would have done if he had just up and left.

Saul grunted as he entered the area and threw a few collapsible metal chairs into the centre. He was followed by Dakota, Cassidy, Jeff, Paul and Jack. The group set about getting the chairs placed in a circle and then took their seats. Everyone was quiet for a moment, gathering their thoughts.

“So I’m sure everyone is wondering why I’ve called this meeting.” Saul began.

“Has it got something to do with  _ him _ ?” Paul jabbed his finger in Vs direction.

“That shit Taco been sayin’?” Jack asked in a gruff voice. He was a Bright Family Elder and had around since long before Saul had been in charge. “Yer brother is making a fuss of something back at camp.” He nudged Jeff roughly in the ribs. Jeff grunted and shifted away from the old man.

“La Grange.” Saul answered, staring at his hands. “There’s some new information about La Grange.”

“What sort of information?” Cassidy frowned. “It’s a 10 year old non-mystery.”

“Oh for fuck sakes!” Jack agreed in annoyance. “We know what happened. Larry  _ gonked _ up!” V jerked back in surprise while the other Nomads released long-suffering sighs. “Fuckin’ dumby. Since when does BioTech move that much stock across the desert? Pfft. I’ll tell you. Never.” Panam nodded her head in silent agreement, along with Cassidy and Dakota. The event was a tragedy and she had lost someone, but she still didn’t think the Aldecaldos should have been there in the first place.

“Enough Jack. We all know your opinion on the matter. What’s the new information? Taco has been going around telling people _ he  _ had something to do with it.” Paul sneered cruelly and pointed his finger at V. The man had never liked V, whether it was an inferiority thing or just a thing against city boys, he had always gone out of his way to bully the Solo. V winced.

“ _ Hey! _ ” Panam defended at once.

“Don’t be fucking stupid Paul.” Cassidy sighed quietly. Dakota shook her head disapprovingly at him.

“Alright!” Saul stood to get above the noise. The group quieted. Panam cast a glance at V, he was still staring into the dirt at his feet but she could see his jaw tighten. She swallowed. “Yes. Carol and Taco came across some evidence-”

“Some extremely _ convenient _ evidence…” Panam interrupted. 

“Also yes. Thank you Panam. Anyway, yes the information does link V to what happened there.” Saul rolled his eyes and answered. 

“How?” Dakota asked skeptically.

“Mason Vesta.” Saul spat. The rest of the Nomads flinched away from him, like he had uttered a dark curse. V rocked back on his seat like he had been physically struck. “That’s your father. Isn’t it V?”

“Yes.” The mercenary shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Dakota, Cassidy and Jack winced. Mitch turned an alarming shade of green.

“Who?” Paul asked snottily.

“Militech. Bigwig who authorized the bomb drop.” Mitch answered. He was staring at V.

“Still don’t answer how the hell the kid’s involved.” Jack snorted.

“Taco has been saying that V is the one who leaked the false manifest to Lawrence.” Paul accused.

“Taco has been going off about it since the Arasaka raid.” Jeff groaned apologetically.

“Allegedly!  _ Allegedly _ the one who leaked the manifest!” Panam cried desperately. “There is way more to the story then we could possibly have known.” 

“V?” Saul prompted. “Got anything to say for yourself?” Panam shot him a look that could have set the older man on fire.

“Vesta kidnapped me as a teen. Made me do things. Did things to me.” V spoke robotically. Her eyes closed involuntarily and her heart thudded against her ribs, it was the first time she’d heard his voice in days. “I got mad. Found a convoy he was supposed to be heading the security for. Decided to fuck with it.” 

“So you leaked the info?” Mitch asked sorrowfully.

“Yes. To Kang Tao and Maelstrom.”

“I knew it!” Paul couldn’t help himself. Dakota and Jeff gasped and stared at V in shock. Panam, Saul and Cassidy each felt their eyes close in an attempt to block out the memories of loss. Mitch shook his head sadly.

“How did the Aldecaldos get involved?” Saul asked and V shrugged.

“It was 10 years ago, I don’t remember contacting any Nomads. Figured they’d have no interest honestly, it was an equipment run. Nothing valuable… But it is very possible that the leak was more widespread than I thought. I was an inexperienced Netrunner.”

Panam couldn’t help the exasperated smile that crossed her lips, too honest for his own good that boy. Dakota and Cassidy were considering him thoughtfully, while Saul and Jack frowned. Jeff shifted in his seat and kicked at the dirt, clearly uncomfortable. Paul looked like he was foaming at the mouth.

“Well what are you waiting for!?” The middle aged farmer demanded.

“The _ fuck  _ are you on about Paul?” Cassidy snorted grumpily. Paul blinked back at him, incredulous.

“He’s responsible for the massacre! Exile him! Execute him!  _ Something! _ ” The farmer raved, jumping to his feet and throwing his hands in the air. 

“ _ Off with his head! _ ” Mitch cheered mockingly. 

“You fuckin’ moron.” Cassidy sighed.

“Execute him!?” Panam cried in horror. She could still feel his cold, unbreathing body in her arms. V had  _ already _ lost his life more time then she was ever willing to acknowledge, he had already had many second chances. There was no way in hell she would let the Aldecaldo be the ones to end his lucky streak.

“We are not executioners Paul! We are not Raffen Shiv!” Saul asserted.

“You’re damn right we aren’t. They would have shot this piece of shit on sight!” Paul fumed stepping toward V. The chieftess felt her muscles tense, readying to spring into action if he moved even a hair closer to her lover. V just looked mildly bored.

“The Raffen Shiv would shoot you for being hung up on an event that happened 10 years ago.” Dakota told him matter of factly. “The Raffens don’t like pussies unless they’re fucking them.” The horrified gasp that fell out of Pauls mouth would have been amusing in any other circumstance. Jack huffed impatiently.

“Oh Sweet Lord in Heaven!  _ Why  _ are we here? I got shit to do!” The elderly man pushed himself up from his chair and shuffled to the edge of the canopy. He lit a cigarette and took a long pull.

“We’re  _ here _ because I’m of the mind to give V his jacket.” Saul threw his hands heavenward. “And I was hoping to get a general feel of what the rest of the camp feels.” Vs head shot up.  _ They still wanted him to be an Aldecaldo!? _

“The  _ fuck _ do I care?” Jack flicked away his smoke.

“WHAT!?” Pauls shrieked in outrage.

“I’d love to hear your objections Paul.” Mitch mocked as he leaned forward onto his knees with a wide, sarcastic smile.

“He just confessed to being involved in the bombing of La Grange! His _ father _ is Mason Vesta!” He looked about at the other Nomads, incredulous that not one stood with him.

“We don’t not punish our brothers for the sins of their fathers.” Dakota reminded him firmly.

“He’s no fucking brother of mine.” Paul growled.

“That’s what we are here to decide.” Saul stood again. 

“Y’all are  _ stoopid _ .” Jack sighed tiredly. The group turned and gaped at him.

“Begging your pardon there Jack. But  _ what _ ?” Panam asked in half amused shock.

“May as well be shootin’ the messenger. Kid had nothin’ to do with it and you know it. Just lookin’ for somewhere to put all that anger and blame. The issue got put in the dirt years ago. Leave it there. He coulda lied jus’ then, you realize that?” The old man hacked up a loogie and spat it at the ground at his boots. V watched in digested awe as the old man defended him. “He’s good to have around. A one man army. Plus he’s finally got Panam to behave.”

“ _ Hey! _ ” she stood, ready to defend herself when she caught sight of the old mans shit-eating grin. Her eyes rolled skyward. “Gonk old man.” The young woman let her eyes slid to Vs carefully, he was looking at her in wonder. She smiled. If the _ gonk  _ had just let her talk to him, he could’ve avoided a lot of misery for them  _ both. _

“V deserves his jacket, he’s coming over the border with us ain’t he?” Cassidy grunted from his seat. Mitch nodded his agreement.

“V is our brother. We should make it official.” Dakota nodded sagely.

“You already know my opinion.” Panam smirked. She had chewed Saul out for even suggesting the tribunal in the first place, she had insisted that V was her family. If he was exiled, then so was she.

“V saved Tacos' ass from scavvers when they first met, got him a sweet pistol and  _ donated _ a few cars to the crew. I think people would be pissed if we didn’t bring him with us.” Jeff surmised. “I’m sorry that my brother is running a smear campaign against you V. He took our mothers passing very hard.” V wave his hand dismissively.

“Losing a mother is hard. I don’t blame your brother.”

“I say we dump him back in Night City and be done with it.” Paul grumbled. V crumbled into himself and it hurt her as much as it enraged her.

“Then I will stay in Night City. Along with my gear and my truck.” She glared at the farmer defiantly. V lifted his head to look at her and she nodded to him seriously. _ Nothing had changed. _

“Paul, I think Jack may be right.” Saul shook his head. 

“What is going on!? Am I taking crazy pills!?” The middle aged man leapt to his feet and stalked over to V. “I lost my sister to that massacre! And we’re supposed to sit here and accept him into the family?! _Fuck you_ V!” He pulled back a fist to strike the waiting mercenary. Saul and Cassidy leapt to restrain him.

“Stop it Paul!” Mitch had jumped in front of V, intent on defending him.

“ _ Enough. _ ” Panam had moved swiftly from her seat to stand directly in Pauls personal space. “You are not the only one who lost people that day. _ This  _ is your only warning. Do not try that again.” He panted angrily at his fearsome leader for a long moment before relenting. Savagely ripping his arms from the hold Cassidy and Saul had on him. 

“This man is responsible for the destruction of an  _ entire _ Aldecaldo Family! Your wife Saul!” The farmer accused. “What would your daughter think, Cassidy? Or your sons Dakota! Are you happy with your mothers murderer walking free Jeff?” He spun toward Panam now. “And you! What would your father say if he knew you were  _ fucking _ his killer?”

_ SMACK! _

Panam tried to shake away the sting of the slap on her hand with a loud curse. Paul stumbled back into Cassidys chest, the older Aldecaldo grunted and shoved him to the ground. Glares on each of their faces Saul and Mitch hauled the farmer to his feet. Unexpectedly he darted toward Panam, reaching with both hands for her neck. 

“You little bitch!”

“Paul!”

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

  
  
“Jesus Christ!”

“Agh!”

Just as Panam felt his fingers graze her skin they disappeared again. 

“ _ You don’t get to touch her _ !” Never in the time she had known him had Panam ever heard V sound so dangerous. The mercenary had released his monowire, snapped it around the older mans neck and yanked, _ hard _ . Paul went horizontal in the air and landed on his back at Vs feet. The Solos eyes were wild and murderous. _ How dare he?!  _ He bent down and pulled the older man up by his shirt.

“V!” Saul called in surprise. “Let him go!” The mercenary ignored him and turned his eyes to her. The look he sent her in that moment made her feel simultaneously powerful and vulnerable. She nodded. V frowned but shoved Paul away from him all the same.

“Alright now, lets everyone just stay calm.” Cassidy tried to placate the group. His hands were held out in front of him as if he were trying to sooth a group of wild beasts. Paul was panting angrily and staring around at the disapproving faces. He reached up to touch the dark bruises now beginning to line his neck.

“Disgusting. All of you. Inviting him into our Family.” Paul spat at Vs feet. In a last ditch attempt to get the final word he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled iron.

“Paul!”

“What the fuck are you doing!?”

**BANG!**

“ _ No! _ V!”

  
  


* * *

V plopped himself down onto a large boulder heavily and stared back at the commotion under the canopy miserably. He removed his now ruined shirt. Mitch set himself up next to him, a first aid kit lay open at his feet and he was carefully inspecting the damage done to Vs arm.

“Piss head couldn’t hit the broadside of a barn.” The veteran tsked disapprovingly. He methodically disinfected the wound, stitched his skin back together and applied the appropriate bandages.

“Thanks.” V grunted taking the appendage back.

“No problem.” They both watched as Cassidy and Saul tied Pauls hands behind his back and hefted him into the bed of Jacks truck. Jack and Jeff emerged from under the canopy a moment later, the young techie climbed aboard his motorcycle and with a salute he was off. Jack clapped his hand on Cassidys shoulder and said something that made the other man laugh, he climbed into the truck and motored back toward camp. 

“What’s gonna happen with him now?”

“He took a shot at a Family member. That’s not okay. Mans lucky he’s got a wife and kids back at camp, otherwise he woulda been out on his ass.” Mitch frowned in thought. “I’m sure Panam will think of something appropriate.”

“Why don’t they hate me Mitch? They all lost family because of me. Panam…” V marvelled.

“Bah!” The older man dismissed. “La Grange had a lot of moving parts, a lot of poor decisions made by many different people. You were but a single factor, one bullet in a full magazine.” He gestured to the group before them. “Not one of them in there can claim they’ve never made a bad decision. That a choice they made led to the death of someone innocent. It happens. You were a teenager and you’ve gone out of your way to atone for the mistakes you made. The Aldecaldos wouldn’t be where we are without you.”

“That’s all Panam.”

“No. That’s  _ you _ .” Mitch poked him in the chest. “Panam wouldn’t have had the confidence to return and challenge the status quo if it hadn’t been for the fire  _ you  _ lit inside her. You give your all into everything you do, and it inspires the people around you to act that way too. Right now is a perfect example!” He laughed. “You could’ve lied. You could have easily said you don’t know what the hell anyone was talking about. Could’ve played the blackout off as a side effect of your other issue. Instead you came clean.”

V grunted, slightly embarrassed. He hadn’t realised that Mitch had been paying such close attention to him. Feeling eyes on him, V turned his head back toward the canopy. Panam was watching him, her hips cocked and her arms crossed, she chewed on her thumb nervously. Beside her Dakota was speaking with Saul.

“Can I ask you something?” Mitch asked with curiosity and just a hint of mischief in his voice.

“Course. I got nothing to hide.” V kept his eyes glued to Panam. Dakota had slapped her hand away from her face and pulled the chieftess back into conversation with Saul. 

“What triggered the flashback? I asked Panam about it but she got all blushy and stutter-y.” Mitch grinned and bumped their shoulders together. “You two doing stuff you shouldn’t be out on the highway?”

“She mentioned that The Hub was located in La Grange as a memorial or something.” V shrugged easily, but his cheeks were now glowing pink.

“The Hub? Was she telling you the plans for the overflow tech?” Mitch asked with a curious smile.

“Yeah, that.”

“...And?” 

“Mitch...” He warned.

“Something happened. It’s big. I can tell.” The former soldier narrowed his eyes. “Is she pregnant?” 

“What?! NO!” V squeaked hastily. The others under the canopy looked up at the pair, confused. Mitch was grinning at him predatorily. “I asked her about… marriage.” He whispered.

“... Like you proposed?”

“Nah. Back in the city, we had a talk. She said we were  _ family _ . Her and me.” He gave his friend a significant look. “When she told me coming back to camp would be coming  _ home _ I mentioned -ahem- that we were basically married. Told her I wanted to be married to her.” V was sure the glow in his cheeks was visible from space.

“Ya-hoo! I knew it!” Mitch clapped him on the back happily. V hear the mechanics within the artificial limb whizzing and whirling. “Nova!”

“I don’t think your elders will let me marry her when they figure out who I am and what I’ve done.” V reminded him sadly.

“Fuck ‘em. You didn’t do anything.”

“There’s more Mitch.” The mercenary sighed.

“So?”

“V…” Panam had wandered over from the canopy. 

“Mitch!” Saul called to the veteran. He stood and gave Panams shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

“He’s fine Pan. It’s hardly a scratch.” He told the young woman before scampering away. The look on her face told him to get clear and fast.

V studied the ferocious woman who stood before him in her leather armor and polished utility belt. Her eyes glinted dangerously in the sunlight, her lips set into an angry frown. She cocked her hips to one side and placed her hands on them, she raised an eyebrow at him expectantly. He sighed.

“Panam, I’m sorry.”

“Oh no you’re not. Not yet. But that is a private conversation for later.” She hissed at him. Her nostrils flared and her eyes flashed with anger, but he could tell she was just masking the hurt he had caused.  _ Fucking gonk. _ “How is your arm?”

“Preem.” He rumbled, already reaching for his bloodied shirt. Tiredly he stood from the rock and pulled it over his head clumsily. Unfortunately he managed to get himself tangled in it. He heard her sigh and then her footsteps crunching through the dirt toward him. Soft, warm hands tugged carefully at the material until he was free. They stood together centimetres apart, breathing in each others air, he dropped his arms to his sides. “Ouch! Fuck!” He had pulled at the stitches Mitch sewed into his skin. Panams hand covered the bandages on his arm with gentle pressure.

“Men.” She muttered to herself, gazing at the bloody rip in his shirt. 

“Sorry.” He mumbled. His opposite hand had placed itself on her hip, his thumb slowly stroking back and forth across the exposed skin there. Slowly her resolve to stay angry with him crumbled and her head dropped her to his collarbone for a moment before she lifted her head to look at him. There was relief and anger plain on her face, but love and hurt in her eyes. “Really Panam, I..I-”

“Shut up.” She pressed her lips to his, one of her hands slid across his chest the other framed his face. Her lips were fleeting and pulled away far too soon, he tried to chase after them. “We have another meeting to attend.” She told him. The Nomad stepped away, tapping her hand none too gently against his cheek. Panam turned and sauntered away, making sure to subtly accentuate the sway of her hips, she glanced behind her. V gaze was stuck on her backside.  _ Good.  _ Just a reminder of what he stood to lose if his gonk-ass behaviour continued.

Eventually he shook himself free of her spell and jogged after her. When they entered the shaded area the others were already sitting and waiting for them. Saul motioned for the pair to sit.

“So V…” Saul started awkwardly. “Panam gave us the basic rundown of what happened.”

“I didn’t get a rundown.” Mitch complained, frowning teasingly at Panam.

“Oh Christ.” V groaned. “Basically I have two sets of memories of what went down in La Grange. What I said before is… Basically what I’ve remembered my whole life. But the flashback I had… I remember  _ being _ at La Grange.”

“Hold up.” Saul lifted his hand to signal V pause what he was going to say. “I thought it was two personalities in your brain. Now you got a whole ass secret life too?” Mitch snorted in laughter and even Panam couldn’t resist an exasperated chuckle. Dakota frowned. V didn’t react.

“Some kind of memory blockage.” Panam explained, her heart aching at Vs dejection. “Vesta tortured V and left something in his brain when it was all over.”

“I was there.” The room was silent. Only Panam had been subjected to his panicked ramblings as V was bombarded with memories. 

“Bullshit.” Cassidy broke the silence. “They may as well have dropped a fuckin’ nuke on the convoy. Nothing within a 2 mile radius survived. The bodies were unrecognizable.”

“Bodies?” V whispered. Panam frowned at him.

“Yeah, it was a several week effort to get everyone out and to give proper burials. The bodies were unrecognisable.” Dakota reminisced.

“There were no bodies.”

“ _ What?” _ Saul hissed.

“Of course there were.” Csssidy reassured him. Still V was shaking his head.

“No. There were no bodies. I remember looking for them.” The Nomads exchanged looks. V was not only claiming to be at ground zero of a bomb drop, but that he looked for bodies afterward and found  _ none _ . 

“V, this is a little unbelievable.” Saul laughed disbelievingly.

“It’s the truth. Or at least, what I can remember of it. There are holes.” He sighed, disappointed. Panam and Saul exchanged glances.

“Are you going to be okay if we go to Texas?” The chief asked him. V gulped. On one hand going to La Grange just seemed to him like they would be inviting more trouble, on the other the problem isn’t going to go away if he didn’t confront it. 

_ Find me son.  _ His mothers voice once more invaded his senses, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and his heart rate speed up. He wanted to find her, but he couldn’t ignore the eerie feeling the creeped along his skin whenever the memory of her voice sounded from within his head. It was too reminiscent of Silverhand and the Relic.

“I’ll be fine. Maybe get some answers.” The other Nomads regarded him indecisively. Ultimately they must have trusted him enough to believe he was telling the truth.

“Alright then.” Saul stood and collapsed his seat. “Unless anyone has anything else to say….” He nodded. “Okay, then we stay the course and go over the border as scheduled.” Everyone stood to pack up, V noticed that Panam remained seated and she indicated that he should too. Mitch winced in sympathy at him, the soldier gave his shoulder a squeeze and exited. Saul, Cassidy and Dakota saluted to the pair and made their ways back to their vehicles.

“Party tonight! Ya-hoo!” Mitch crowed from his rig, speeding off into the sun. He was followed by raucous laughter and more vehicles that soon disappeared into the blowing dust cloud. V couldn’t help the amused smile that lit up his features.

“What a gonk.”

“Yes. You are.” Panams voice slithered over his shoulder and into his ear. Nervously V turned to face his justifiably angry lover. She was leaned back in the metal chair, her arms crossed over her chest and her face challenging him to argue with her. “Sit V, I think we still have a lot to discuss.”

  
  


_ The lucidity of my mind has been revealed in new dreams. I am able to travel where my heart goes, in search of self-realization.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SONG: The Phantom Agony - Epica


	10. Perderme Contigo

_ Y si me voy a perder, quiero perderme contigo.  _

  
  


They remained where they had sat in the meeting circle, with Panam at 12 o’clock and him at 3 o’clock. Vs eyes shifted apprehensively from Panam to the canopy ceiling to his feet to back outside, anything to keep him from meeting her eye. The chieftess hadn’t broken her wrathful gaze since they had been left alone. He had tried to apologise again, but she had just told him to  _ be quiet _ . So here he sat, shifting uncomfortably under her glare and hoping  _ something  _ happened soon. Suddenly she sighed and shook her head.

“Love, trust, respect. Do you remember?” She asked him.

_ You and Me. Family. _

He remembered. She had said that to him at the safehouse back when he thought she was  _ proposing _ to him. V sighed himself, and brought a hand to his forehead. Hiding out by himself he thought he was giving her space, giving time to accept the fact that her fathers death lay squarely on _ his _ shoulders. The mercenary had even thought about just abandoning camp. A Quadra Type-66 nicknamed ‘Cthulhu’ sat just outside the camps boundaries waiting for him, just in case. But he couldn’t bring himself to leave, especially not her. Panam wasn’t the type to keep chasing him forever, it wasn’t fair to her.

“I remember.” He answered. She frowned.

“No, I don’t think you do.” The Nomad leaned forward in her seat, resting her elbows on her knees. “You said you  _ trusted  _ me! That you  _ respected _ me!”

“I do! Panam! You  _ have  _ to know that I do! I trust you with my life!” He begged from his seat.

“But not with your feelings! Or your fears!” She roared, standing to her feet and pacing. “And  _ clearly  _ you don’t respect me enough to think I could deal with this rationally!” V was distraught, of course he did!

“Panam! That’s not…”

“No, V! You don’t get to talk!” She rounded on him. “You iced me out! Again! And after all that bullshit about getting married!”

“That wasn’t bullshit!” he gasped, shocked she would say such a thing.

“Really V? Because these last few days you haven’t been acting like you want to get married, like you want to be my husband.” She may as well have struck him. The Nomad wasn’t wrong, but it did hurt to hear. “So we’ve establish you don’t trust or respect me, how can I think that you’d lo-”

“NO!” He bellowed. “You can be mad. You can yell at me, tell me my stupid gonk ass is a  _ fucking  _ stupid gonk ass, but never… Panam. You are my _ everything! _ I’d be dead in the dirt without you. I  _ love  _ you!” He declared it as if it were law. There was no V without Panam, he would’ve eaten a bullet on that roof if he didn’t think that she would be waiting for him. Knowing Panam, that a  _ family, _ was waiting for him on the other side of Mikoshi, was the main reason V had managed to push through like he did. The sheer need to see, feel and taste her was what kept him crawling through that sludge filled pipe.

“Well, you’ve been doing a really shitty job of showing it!” She yelled back. “Do you even want to be with me!?”

“Of course I do! Panam. I just figured..” he deflated and trailed off.

“What V? You just figured what?” She crossed her arms and glared at him from above.

“That you wouldn’t want to sleep next to the man who got your father killed.” V breathed quietly to his feet. Panams glared fiercely, but her eyes unwillingly filled with tears, making her curse loudly and stomp away from him. The mercenary watched dejectedly as she made her way back to her truck, for a moment he thought she would leave him there. Instead she punched an armored panel with another curse. Involuntarily his own eyes filled, when she hurt, he hurt.

“Panam…” He hurried after her. He pulled the grieving Nomad into his arms, she resisted and struggled, but he held fast. Slowly her resolve to fight him withered. Her arms wrapped around his middle and she buried her face into his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He held her close. 

“I loved my dad.” she whispered into his shirt. He pressed his cheek into the bun of dreads at the top of her head.

“I know you did.”

“He was my best friend. My greatest advocate. Taught me everything I know about everything. I was devastated when he died.” The Nomad closed her eyes and buried herself further into Vs arms.

“I know. I’m so sorry.” He whispered.

“Stop it.” Her head was shaking. He gently pulled her away from himself to look at her in confusion. She sniffled and rolled her eyes self-deprecatingly, she looked away embarrassed and wiped at her eyes. He kept his arms locked around her.

“Stop what?” He asked carefully.

“Apologising!” she poked his chest in annoyance. “You were as much a victim as my father. It was a Corpo plot to ensure we all remember our places as peons.”

“But.. But.. Panam.”

“No!” She shouted over him, slapping both her hands against his broad strong chest. “No one blames you V! No one! And you’d’ve already known that for this stupid fucking tribunal if you had just let me  _ talk _ to you!”

“I’m sorry.”

“What the hell did I _ just _ say!?” she growled angrily.

“No, Pan. I mean.. I..” He chuckled self-deprecating and pulled her closer still. “I’m sorry that I froze up, that I disappeared. I shouldn’t have hidden from you. I was just.. I was scared, Panam. I finally had everything… And, of course! Of course my father had already sabotaged it. Before I had even found you.”

“V-”

“I was terrified you would hate me.” He confessed, pressing his forehead to hers. He lifted a hand from her waist, he cupped her face and gently wiped a stray tear away. Panam took a shaky breath. Her arms squeezed his middle tightly.

“Well I don’t, even though I am beyond pissed at you V.” She reached up to his chin and tilted his face so she could meet his eyes. “If you want to do this... Marriage, kids, everything. You  _ can’t  _ run from me whenever things get scary.”

“I know. I’m a fucking idiot.”

“Yes, you are.” She agreed seriously. “But you are capable of learning, when you  _ want _ too anyway, I’ve seen it.” The Nomad smiled teasingly and stroked her hand along his cheek.

“I want to Panam. I want everything with you. All of it. I will learn, fast.” He leaned into her, pressing his lips easily against her palm. 

“ _ Everything? _ ” she questioned. He backed them up against her truck so she was trapped between him and the metal warhorse.

“Everything. Good, bad. Triumphs, failures. Disagreements, celebrations.” He slipped his hands to her arms and lifted them from his middle to his neck. She grinned at him as his hands then travelled downward to her hips and thighs. He encouraged her to hop into his arms. The Nomad sighed and wrapped her legs around his waist.

“I want that too. I want to know that you’ll be there. Even when it's hard.” She ran her hands through his hair, letting her nails scratch lightly at his scalp. He moaned.

“I want to be married to you, I want everyone to know you are _my_ _wife_ and I am your husband. I want us to make all sorts of babies together…” The mercenary rolled his body into hers, he felt her legs tighten around him.

“Now wait just a second.” Her lips curved into a gentle smile. He buried his nose into her cleavage and busied himself tasting her skin. “Just how many babies are we talkin’ here?”

“As many as we can make.” He grunted back to her, making her laugh.

“Well I’d like to have you to myself for a while longer. Hence the contraceptive implant.” She tugged on his hair tenderly, to get him to raise his eyes to her own. “I have warmed up to the idea of being married V, but.. Parenthood. I’ll need some time to wrap my head around that.”

“I think that you would make an amazing mother. But I don’t want you to feel pressured, if you never want to have a baby I’ll be okay with that.” V reassured her easily. “I like kids, but I don’t need my own. I can always go play Cops vs. Cyberpsycho with the kids in camp if I ever get the itch.” After River had teased V about the possibility of becoming a daddy, the thought had always lingered in the back of his mind. Children were not exactly something he wanted to bring into the world when he had been living in NC, but then the Relic and Panam happened… Now, with the Aldecaldos and Panam, any children he had would be loved and adored, they would always have a home. The thought was a little appealing, but like she’d said before  _ they had all the time in the world. _

“Well.. Until then we can always practice.” She suggested innocently.

“Practice…?”

“Making babies, V.” The Nomad seductively wiggled her hips against his. His eyebrows raised in surprise and his lips settled into a wolfish grin. The mercenary ground their hips together and attacked her with a hungry kiss.

“Fuck… V.”

“I love you Panam. I’m sorry I hurt you. I promise to be better. You’re so good to me.” He panted. He pinned her against the truck with his hips, slowly he ran one hand from her hips up along her abdomen and under her leather jacket to the strap around her neck. Quick fingers snapped the button free and exposed her throat. Gently he ran his fingers against the soft skin there, he thought about Paul. He glared.

“He didn’t touch me V. You got him.” As if reading his thoughts, the Nomad had immediately moved to sooth him. “He’s gonna make life living hell for both of us, maybe all of us, for a long while, but..”

“I’d do it again.” He rocked against her roughly making the Nomad throw her head back, lightly banging it on the window behind her. Her nails were digging into his shoulders and her legs were pulling him impossibly closer. “He’s lucky that I didn’t kill him.” Adoringly his lips pressed light kisses from her shoulder, along her collarbone and her neck.

“ _ I’m _ lucky he can’t aim for shit. _ Oh, V.”  _ Her back arched against the door, her pelvis tilted and they both groaned. So, of course, because his timing is always so impeccable, Mitch called her. A slew of curses fell from her mouth and she considered ignoring it, but she knew Mitch would only call because he was about to  _ show up _ . She stopped V, pointing to her holo and accepting the call ( _ audio only _ ). She dropped her legs from his waist, they were shaking and unsteady she realised, she had been so close.  _ Goddammit Mitch. _

“No, no no no no.” V complained into her hair.

“What Mitch?” The flustered chieftess snapped.

“This is your 10 minute warning. I’m coming back to help with the canopy, we got lots to do back at camp. If there is any hanky panky going on, finish up ‘cause I don’t want to see it.” The veteran ended the call without waiting for a reply.

“ _ Fuck. _ ” she whimpered. In front of her V dropped to his knees and started unclipping the lower straps of her utility belt, then he reached for her jeans. “What are you doing?”

“10 minutes is plenty.” The mercenary winked at her. He pulled her jeans down passed her ass and dove into her centre with total abandon. His hand pulled her underwear and bodysuit aside and he ran his tongue along her folds. Above him Panam jerked.

“ _ Oh! Careful V… AhhHhh. Sensitive. Mmm.” _ He attached his mouth to her, using his tongue to licked slow circles over her clit. One of Panams hands tangled itself in his hair, her hips began to rock against his mouth, her other hand slapped wildly against the truck looking for a handhold. “Shit!” His fingers slid along her lips, teasingly dipping inside her before drawing away again. “ _ V! _ ” She hissed in response. “Quickly!”

He flattened his tongue against her against her, allowing her hips to set the frantic pace whilst he finally slipped two fingers inside. The Nomad bit her lip to keep from crying out, V marvelled at how warm and wet she was,  _ so sexy _ . The pace of her hips was near frantic now as she sought the friction needed for release. Inside of her he wiggled his fingers, finding the little spot that always drove her mad. Panams vision burst into stars, V felt her explode around his fingers and into his mouth. She felt as if her bones had turned to jelly, the only reason she remained on her feet was the truck behind her and V in front of her.

“ _ Jesus. _ ” She moaned.

“Nah, just V.” He waggled his eyebrows at her from down below and it was probably the sexiest thing she’d ever seen. She let out a strangled sigh as he began pressing kisses down her thighs. In the distance the roar of an engine could be heard, it was getting louder, closer. He pulled away and redressed her bottom half. He climbed back up her body letting her arms dangle lazily from his shoulders and kissed her lovingly.

“Gonk.” She sighed into his lips.

“ _ Your _ gonk.” He agreed happily. She smiled brightly and kissed him again.

“ _ My _ gonk.” she whispered. 

  
  


* * *

Later the evening V found himself seated outside the cantine with Carol and Mitch sharing a round of beers. His lady love had been called away by her chiefing duties, and the veterans had valiantly offered to keep him company and make sure he didn’t run off and hide in his tent. Even if the tribunal had ruled in his favour and most of the other Nomads had brushed off his mistake, that was still a large amount of shame and guilt consuming his heart around the incident. Mitch had told him off for being gloomy twice already. 

“So what's this I hear about wedding bells V?” Carol grinned at him as she took a swig of her drink.

“Whose wedding bells?” Cassidy asked as he, Teddy and Bobby joined the group, pulling up extra chairs and looking at Carol expectantly.

“Mitch!” V gasped.

“What?! Was it supposed to be a secret?” The older vet smiled goofily, clearly a few drinks in his system already.

“You and Panam!?” Bobby cried excitedly.

“No way!”

“Congratulations brother!”

“Whoa! Whoa! Lets.. I dunno keep it down.” V glanced around nervously. “Panam and I have been  _ discussing _ getting married. There’s still the elders in.. at The Hub to deal with, and  _ other _ logistics.”

“Oh forget about the Elders V.” Mitch told him.

“Bureaucratic, stone-aged old men if you ask me.” Carol agreed heartily. 

“Pfft. You wanna marry her boy?” Cassidy asked seriously. He leaned forward on his elbows across the table, eyebrows raised.

“More than anything.” V responded honestly. Teddy and Carol smiled widely, Mitch cheered.

“Right on brother.” Bobby clapped him on the back.

“Alright then.” Cassidy pulled back and nodded approvingly.

_ Wow. So that’s what it’s like? _ Total acceptance. No qualms or reservations, Panams chosen family welcomed him with open arms. He smiled back hesitantly and took a long pull from his beer. Something behind him caught the groups attention, they all nodded in greeting. Slowly, two strong, warm, leather clad arms wrapped around his shoulders from behind. V smiled serenely, knowing there was no place in the world he would rather be than in her arms.

“Come on.” She pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “Saul has an announcement.”

Together the group pushed through the throngs of people and gathered at the tailgate of Sauls truck. He stood inside the bed, arms raised and calling for attention.

“Aldecaldos!” The crowd still continued to whisper loudly amongst themselves.

“Hey! Your Chief is talking!” Panam bellowed. Immediately the crowd focused its attention back on the pair. The Nomad Chieftess looked over the crowd like a teacher would a classroom of rowdy students. “Go ahead Saul.” She told him sweetly. The fellow chief rolled his eyes, but smiled.

“V?” He extended his hand to the merc.

“Huh? What? Me?” 

“Yes you, go!” Panam nudged him gently. He accepted Sauls hand and allowed the older man to pull him into the truck bed with him.

“I.. What? What is going on?” He asked slightly panicked, not liking the attention.

“Alright V, it’s a simple matter. We - all of us standing here- owe you, and it’s a great debt.” Saul spoke to him, but spread his arm out over the crowd. “But you are still an outsider, a mercenary from Night City, from what might as well be another world.” The mercenary frowned, his eyes shot anxiously to Panam. She was smiling. “It’s about time we fixed that.”

“Damn right it is!” Carol called.

“A down right injustice, it is!” Teddy agreed.

“It needs fixing!” A different voice. 

“You’re going to be an Aldecaldo!” Saul told him. “Ready kid?”

“Fuck me Saul, nearly gave me a heart attack.” V laughed nervously, he hand clutched at his heart jokingly. “Do your worst.”

“You’re an Aldecaldo V! One of us!” Saul gripped Vs arm and lifted it over their hands triumphantly. The crowd cheered. V felt like he was underwater, it was so overwhelming he could barely take a breath, people  _ cheered _ as he joined their ranks. Panam stepped in front of the open tailgate, she carried a leather jacket emblazoned with the same burning skull that donned her back.

“Welcome to the family.” She proudly passed him the jacket. V slipped it over his shoulders, vowing to never take it off.

“Don’t worry, it’s but a formality. You’ve been a de facto member of this family for a while now.” Saul reassured him. “You’ve saved my rumpus, from what Bobby tells me you saved Jake and Mitch too. I won’t even mention Panam.”

“Go to Hell.” She sassed back. “He’s right though V.” The two leaders switched spots, Saul leaping down and Panam hopping up. “Before you I was lost, my life in pieces. You smashed those pieces even smaller. But only then could I see the full picture.” She took hold of his jacket and adjusted it on his frame.

“I...I.. Wow. Thank you all.” He turned to the Aldecaldos. “I wear this jacket proudly! I will not let the Family down!” The crowd cheered and applauded. He turned to Panam, pulling her into his arms. “I won’t let you down.” He kissed her. He felt her arms come up and wrap around his neck, her tongue ghosted along his lower lip. He happily allowed her to deepen the kiss, not caring in the slightest that they were basically making out while on display.

“And I now pronounce you..” Mitch hollered drunkenly from the crowd. “Man and wife.” Roars of laughter and loud cries of congratulations erupted from the crowd. Panam pulled away from V in shock.

“Mitch!” She leapt after the now running-for-his-life veteran and gave chase. V stood statuesque in the truck bed, arms still raised as if he was holding her, lips puckered comically. More laughter from the crowd.

“Alright! Alright!” Saul tried to settle the crowd. “Tonight we celebrate! But tomorrow we cross the border! Make sure you do what needs to be done and get some rest!” 

  
  


_ Llevo soñando con tenerte, desde antes de conocerte. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SONG: Perderme Contigo - Bacilos
> 
> Hello all,
> 
> I just wanted to leave a little note to thank everyone for checking out my work. Thank you for reading. Thank you for commenting. Thank you for your suggestions.
> 
> Thank you, thank you, thank you.
> 
> From the bottom of my cold little heart.
> 
> Thank you.


	11. Born Under a Bad Sign

_ Born under a bad sign, been down since I begin to crawl. _

  
  
  


V glared out his windshield at Panams truck, barely visible through the curtain of blowing sand and dust. They had been driving for hours trying to make it a small encampment the Nomads had settled years before, hopefully it was still there. It was supposedly a safe place for the convoy to set up camp for a few days, do some local trade, put their ears to the ground and figure out where they were going to find work after dumping their overflow tech at The Hub. Saul had already sent word ahead that the Bright family would be moving through the area and that they may disturb the local fauna a little bit. 

So far though, they hadn’t had a single encounter with any scavvers or Raffens. Hell they hadn’t even seen a Militech or NUSA AV patrol. If V hadn’t been on edge after the border, he certainly was now. He just felt it was very suspicious that the convoy hadn’t run into  _ any  _ other souls. Panam had told him in the expansive wasteland encounters were quite minimal, it was only once a group settled an area and started working that the more dangerous traffic started showing up. 

But the lack of _ anything _ was… unsettling. Coupled with the near constant pounding headaches that only seemed to be getting worse, he was losing his mind. There were times he could swear he heard his mothers voice. So he had decided to distract himself and then the others. Sometimes, unfortunately, that meant annoying someone.

_ V. _ ..

“I’m bored!”

Panam felt her eye twitch. Life on the road would be an adjustment for V, they had both known that going into this, but after two weeks of driving and a week of his incessant whining she was at a breaking point. The first week of driving had been blissful, V driving his own vehicle within the convoy or sometimes opting to keep her company. He had set the car into autopilot and tinkered with all manner of gadgets that needed repairing, but by the end of the week he had fixed all there was to fix. Never in his life had V had to deal with the monotony of nothingness.This week had been especially grueling as they encountered high wind speeds, blowing dust and low visibility. 

Night City always had something going on, some gang holding up a joint, some bar throwing a ragin’ party, some fixer fucking shit up for Corpos. Not so in the desert. He thought it would bring him peace, but all it did was give him time to brood. Time to worry about if Militech will come looking for him, that whatever his mother wants from him will be too much, that somehow all this  _ good _ that he had managed to surround himself with will be targeted. That Panam and the family he now rode with would be put into danger because of him, danger easily avoided if he had just stayed behind. 

“V, if you seriously don’t shut the fuck up I’m going to shoot you and _ I  _ won’t miss.” Bobby warned from the panzer that covered the convoys 6 o’clock.

“Pfft. I’d like to see you try.” The merc scoffed.

“How about you suck my-”

“OK!” Panam shouted into the holo. Her eyes darted to her rear view camera, V was sitting in his seat glaring at his steering wheel. “This is an open channel gentlemen!” 

“Bobby just ignore him, keep an eye out for scavs like you’re supposed to be. And V..” Sauls voice ordered over the radio. “Grow up.” The comms cut back to silence. Panam glanced at the view camera again, V was now glaring out the window. She sighed quietly and switched to a private channel.

“The supply depot is not far. We’ll refuel, you can stretch your legs and maybe go looking for some trouble. It’s just an hour away. Can you handle that?” her nerves were just as shot as the rest when it came to his complaints, but she could also see that he was still really bothered and not at all used to the method of travel.

“Yeah. Sorry.” He rumbled back before clicking his holo off. She sighed sadly.

V swallowed hard and glared at his car dashboard, he knew Panam was probably watching him through her rear camera, so he tried to keep his face neutral though it probably fell more into the category of ‘constipated’. He hadn’t told her about the headaches.  _ Yet, _ he reminded himself. He hadn’t told her about the headaches  _ yet _ . He thought perhaps they were just a remnant of his brain being molded and remolded over and again. But sometimes the pain behind his eyes was so sharp it was blinding. The mercenary knew he had to tell Panam, and soon, he just didn’t want to think about how it would worry her.

_ My son _ ...

Another sharp pain from within his skull made him wince, he turned his head to look out the window in an attempt to play off the sudden movement. The expression on her face, that he saw mirrored on one of her blacked out screens, showed she was not convinced.  _ Shit.  _ A flash in the sky caught his eye, he squinted into the distance. Through the blowing dust he could make out a vague shadow floating on the wind. What was that?  _ A distraction _ ! 

Almost giddy V flipped his car into autopilot (accident avoidance) mode and quickly pulled off his restraints. He opened his window, stuck his head out and activated his cyberdeck. _ A drone!  _ It was too far away to get the make, but it didn’t look like the typical cobbled together machinery that Raffens or scavvers usually used. He frowned, and decided to PING it, it didn’t look hostile, but better to be safe than sorry.

“What the hell is he doing?” Mitch questioned over the open channel. V ignored him, watching as his vision filled with the distant red silhouettes of possible enemies. Two drones, just hovering and watching,  _ strange. _ But not as important as the three scavver vehicles he could see driving along their left side and another two on their right. The rigs were just far enough away that they couldn’t be seen easily, but they could still follow the travelling family. They were just driving alongside them? How long had they been there? Why hadn’t they done anything? _ I’ve got a bad feeling about this _ , he thought. Immediately he reached inside for his radio, and switched to a private channel with the Panzer.

“Sooo… Not to alarm you, but we’ve got a few new friends pulling up beside us. And an audience too.” 

“What?” Bobbys questioned in annoyance.

“Switch to thermal. You’ll see ‘em.” 

“What the shit? Why aren’t they doin’ anything?” Teddy asked now. “Come on, Bobby. Lets try and pull a sneaky on these three on the left.” 

“I dunno, I only just noticed them. Can you see tracks? How long have they been following us?” 

“Negative choomba. Holoing Saul and Panam, be right back.”

“I’m gonna get a better vantage point.” He pocketed the radio.

Slowly, he pulled himself out of the window of the moving vehicle, he could hear someone shouting at him through the radio. Maybe he could incapacitate the drivers before… He needed a higher vantage point and fast. The merc steadied himself on the roof of his vehicle, he could see Marcus in the cabin of the sixteen wheeler semi-trailer behind him. His lips forming the unheard words, _ what the fuck.  _ Ahead of him he could see Panams truck, with Panam herself sticking her head out of the window.

“What the _ fuck  _ are you doing?!” She shouted at him.

“Just keep doing what you’re doing. We got this!” He called back.

The Solo allowed himself a centering breath and took a running leap from the roof of his vehicle to the bed of her truck. He could hear her cursing after him, but he had already scrambled on her roof. The panzer sped passed them, the guns had powered on. 

“3 boogies. Straight ahead.. We got this. Come on Teddy!” Bobby’s voice called over the holo. “2 on the left side! 90 degrees.”

**BRRR!!!**

V had never been on the  _ outside _ of the panzer when the guns were truly running free, goddamn they were _ loud _ . The Scavvers didn’t even attempt to steer away from the hail of molten lead. Their vehicles were chewed through easily, one exploded into a massive fireball that  _ finally _ got the other vehicles to react, by attempting to plow into the convoy of Nomads. The turret on the roof beside him sprung to life.

“V! Don’t get in the way!” Panam warned from within the metal Warhorse. V threw himself back into the bed of her truck, just in time to avoid the barrage of bullets she let loose into the tailing enemy vehicles on their right. 

“Evasive manuevers!” Saul called over the open holo channel. Incredibly, as if they had all rehearsed it before, the Aldecaldos split in all directions. Some vehicles pulled hard left, others right, some turned completely around and sped back the way they had come. Saul, who had been heading the convoy gunned his truck to the left, he disappeared into a cloud of dust and smoke. 

“V! Get in your _ freaking _ car!” Panam screamed over the holo. 

“One second!” The merc called back. He leapt from her moving vehicle, to his hood right behind. Marcus still tailed him as well, the long-haul trailer was not exactly maneuverable at the best of times. 

“SHIT!” Panam swerved hard to the left. One of the scavver rigs, burning and dropping pieces of it’s guts, had tried to slam into her and missed. They hit Vs beloved Cthuthlu instead, launching the merc up and backwards. V twisted his body in the air, trying to see where the hell he was about to land.  _ I really liked that car, _ he thought as he slammed into the long-haul windshield and rolled up and over the cabin. His hands scrambled to catch anything to keep him from being thrown from the sixteen wheeler.

“AHH!” He heard Marcus holler from inside. The cabin began to wobble dangerously, as the ripper swerved madly to avoid the wreckage that had been Vs Quadra Type-66.

“MARCUS!” V bellowed. “CUT THE SHIT!” he had just managed to get a decent grip when the ripper swerved again and nearly sent him to his second early grave. The large steel cargo bin holding all their very expensive ripper and Arasaka equipment tottered from side to side, pulling the cabin with it. “Arg!” Marcus,  _ somehow _ , managed to right the truck and keep it on all it’s wheels. V grumbled to himself and climbed carefully atop the shipping container. He sent out a PING.

Panam and the rest of the Nomads had disappeared, hopefully they were away safely. He could make out the shape of the panzer, Bobby and Teddy probably decided it was in their best interest to escort Marcus and all the goods. Their audience, the drones, had stayed with them it seemed. It almost looked like they were looking at him,  _ watching him _ .

_ V _ ...

“Oh shit!” A third drone had appeared, seemingly from nowhere, and flew at his head. V flattened himself on the roof of the moving vehicle. His cyberdeck turned off, the drones disappeared.  _ Camouflage! That’s advanced tech!  _ V rolled back to his feet and reactivated his deck, the drone was circling back and had activated its speed booster. 

“Teddy, Bobby!” he cried into his holo. “Can you see the drones!?”

“We got you V, just stay up there. Marcus kept her straight, that’s good right there choom!” Teddy called backed. 

“God-fucking-dammit” He cursed when none of his Daemons would upload. The merc loosed his monowire and snapped it threateningly at the camouflaged drone. The machinery darted beneath his whip and slammed itself into his chest, attempting to knock him from his perch. He fell flat on his back and began to slide toward the back end of the semi-trailer. 

“Fucking shit!” V shouted. As the drone came back overhead V flicked the monowire. The flexible metal wire wrapped around the left lateral wing. The active camouflage on the drone flickered out. “Yes! Huh? No! No, no! Whoaa!” The flying machine rocketed away, still attached to Vs arm. The mercenary was lifted back to his feet before being yanked clear of the vehicle.

They jetted toward the ridge with its waiting mechanical brothers, Vs arm burning painfully. He was having flashbacks to the Smasher fight and cried out ferociously. At least his weight was slowing down the drone, and it was losing altitude fast. He gripped the wire in his left hand to take some pressure off the anchors within his cyberware implant and attempted to disengage and pull it free from the bot. The drone swerved to and fro and continued to lose altitude, completely unsteady with his additional weight, he braced to hit the ground. 

“Gotcha!” He landed heavily on the panzer.

“Arg!” He tried to orient himself but the dust and wind made it impossible to open his eyes or hear anything. The other drones zipped toward them now. 

**CRACK!**

The drone his monowire was wrapped around exploded, sniper fire, he’d know that sound anywhere. He thanked whatever higher power that existed for Panam Palmer and that sniper rifle of hers. He had no idea where she was, but it had to be close. He had just pulled himself free and disarmed the monowire when a second drone slammed into his knees sending him crashing to his back. V blinked dazedly up at the gloomy sky, completely winded. 

  
  


_ Do not fear son… _

Another drone, still in active camo, hovered his front of his face and without asking permission jacked into his neural port. The hatch above Teddy’s seat swung open and the veteran pulled a handgun from its holster. Just as he squeezed the trigger, the first drone returned and electrocuted him with a tentacle-like cable. The soldier fell back into the tank unconscious. 

“Teddy! AH!” Vs neural interface was spasming in his vision, multiple windows opened and layered over each other, files were being downloaded from _ his brain _ ! He saw images of his childhood and his time in Atlanta, he saw Jackies lifeless body driving away with Delamain and Johnny Silverhand pushing him back into the well at Mikoshi. V didn’t know why he was filled with a sudden dread, like these drones were looking for something very specific and he didn’t want them to find it.

Then images of the Aldecaldos, more and more, and Panam and Saul and… There was a tittering going on in his head, a clicking sound akin to an insect. The drone seemed very interested in his memories with the Nomad group, far too interested. They wanted the ‘caldos, and that was not okay with him.

_ Do not fight us... _

“No!” They were digging deeper, it was getting painful. “No!” The clicking had gotten louder, he could feel a surge of energy coming on not unlike the Shock-n-Awe immune system upgrade he once had installed. Precious memories of Panam flashed before his eyes, Nash, the train heist, the basilisk. “NOOOO!” The drone exploded, his vision cleared.

An anger he had never known and a power that was at once terrifying but all too familiar followed through his veins.  _ Destroy. Kill. No harm comes to  _ my _ family. _ The third drone, where was it? There! Zipping away from it’s ambush toward safety. 

“Can’t have that.” He murmured softly to himself. Without thinking V looked down at the panzer and waved his hand forward. 

“V? What the fuck? We need to get Teddy help.” Bobby opened the hatch to his seat V, waved his hand dismissively and gestured to the drone. “I ain’t doin’ shi-”

V turned and glared at the disobedient soldier. Bobby started when he realised that Vs eyes had an intensely eerie glow to them, he could  _ feel _ the mercenary. As if V was somehow connecting with the network shared between him, Teddy and the panzer. Slowly, Bobby felt a need to destroy the drone, it was  _ dangerous _ , it  _ must. Be. DESTROYED _ . The veterans eyes now matched the blue glow of his companion, he slipped back into his seat and closed the hatch.

Pleased V turned back to the fleeing drone. He lifted his chin and the panzer rocketed after it. The mercenary closed his eyes, but he saw what the panzer network saw, the drone was fast, but it wouldn’t be fast enough. They were in range. He activated the gun, and took aim, he urged the vehicle faster still. 

**BOOM!**

All at once it was over. The noise of the drones, the voices, the power surging through his veins. Gone. The panzer suffered a power surge and dropped out of the sky. It landed with a resounding crash. V fell from the vehicle and landed in a heap at its nose. 

“What the FUCK?!” Bobby fumed. “What the hell was that!? How did you do that?!” The hatches both popped open, Bobby leaped from his seat and landed next to the mercenary. The veteran swayed dangerously, but he lifted V into a sitting position violently, slamming the back of Vs head into the Panzer. “You were in my head!” He pulled his gun out and pointed it at V. “HOW were you in my head?”

Pathetically the younger man lifted his head, and blinked blurrily before turning away and vomiting into the sand. His nose was bleeding, so were his ears. Bobby wanted to feel bad for the guy but he couldn’t get the _ feeling out of his head _ . Like V had stuck his spidery fingers into the most intimate parts of Bobby’s psyche, he saw the mercenary now and all he felt was terror and disgust. Without thinking he pulled back the hammer on his revolver.

“Bobby!” The roar of Panams warhorse broke whatever spell had taken over Bobby. He dropped the revolver and stumbled away from V before he too collapsed into a heap, unconscious. The chieftess exited her vehicle, already calling for backup. “Saul, Mitch. I’m gonna need some help.”

  
  
  
_ If it wasn’t for bad luck, you know I wouldn’t have no luck at all. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SONG: Born Under a Bad Sign - Albert King


	12. Ubu

_ I know it hurts, see, I can tell. But to face it is the main thing. _

  
  


The Nomads had managed to drag both unconscious veterans to Sauls truck while a babbling V was placed in Panams ride. The panzer, they decided, would have to stay behind until they could send someone to collect it. But the mercenary had merely shook his head and waved his hand back at the panzer like one would a pet hound. Terrifyingly prompting yet another gush of blood from his nose and ears and more surprisingly, the pilot-less panzer leapt into action and followed the 3 Nomad vehicles like an obedient guard animal.

They had arrived at the rendezvous to a much smaller clan. Saul had suggested setting up camp for a few nights, hoping to catch any stragglers. It was only when Igea Borbon, a single woman within the camp, arrived that the mystery unfolded. She told them that Paul had gathered a group of families and decided to make a break for The Hub themselves, without the rest of the clan. 

Saul was understandably furious and worried. None of them families Paul had taken knew how to adequately protect themselves. There were obviously those that could shoot, but they were a much smaller, vulnerable group now. Perfect pickings for any other villainous groups roaming the wastes of Texas. The leaders decided to split up, Panam would remain with the rest of the camp for a week or so, catching any missing family members before heading to La Grange. Saul would go after Paul with a handful of others.

Three days had passed since Saul had left. V had finally fallen asleep some time after they had returned to safety and he had instructed the panzer to park itself intimidatingly outside camp. The merc slept for 20 full hours. Bobby and Teddy both made full recoveries. Teddy had no idea why Bobby was so hostile, and Bobby came nowhere near V or Panam. Though he did not leave, V had noted in surprise.

Panam had been running around making sure everyone's needs were being met, that their resources were topped up, that there were no families still out in the wastes trying to make it to the rendezvous. V had spent the time sulking, wishing for his car, avoiding Bobby and avoiding the questions. Jesus, everyone had questions. Except the one person he wanted to talk to, Panam. 

By the third night they were both on edge and ready to get away. Panam needed to figure out what the hell was going with him and V desperately needed to tell her. The clan was firmly settled now and would be able to move out to La Grange in a few days, so she told Mitch to keep an eye on things. She packed V and a few things into her truck and motored off into the middle of nowhere. She stayed close enough to camp that they could be back to help quickly if there was trouble, but they were far enough away to have some privacy.

“So what happened? Exactly.” Panam asked.

They lay in the bed of her truck atop a thin foam mattress. He was on his back staring up into the night sky and she was on her side facing him, one of her hands was entwined with his and lay on his chest. V sighed in response.

“I don’t know. The drones go-”

“Before that V.” She squeezed their joined hands. “You were insufferable for a good portion of the journey. That’s not like you at all. What’s going on?” 

“Oh?” He asked slightly miffed. “What am I like then?”

“You.” She said with a teasing grin, seeing she had hit a nerve of some sort. “Like to suffer in silence. I swear some days I’d beg Misty for her crystal ball if it would help me see what’s going on inside your head.” He smiled sadly, she knew him well. _ Of course she does you gonk, _ he thought to himself. He enjoyed their banter though and he knew that, eventually this topic would venture into uncomfortable waters and he wanted to take what peace he could for now.

“You were the one telling me to talk more, open up about my feelings.” He rolled to face her and attempted to pull her against him.

“Actual feelings V, not toddler-esque tantrums.” Panam planted her hands on his chest forcing some distance between them. This was a real conversation and it wouldn’t be interrupted by her hormones dammit! His head jerked back, insulted.

“I resent that.”

“I don’t care. It’s the truth. There were a few babies on the trip and they  _ all _ behaved better than you.”  _ At least until we separated _ , she thought grimly.

“Maybe until Paul fucked off with some of the families across Texas with zero protection. Fucking dumb asshole. He better hope Saul and the rest find them before we do.” V said bitterly. He sighed and turned away again, gazing up into the star almost mournfully.

“Whatever you’re thinking… It’s not your fault.” Panam stayed where she was, allowing the mercenary his space. 

“That’s not really true though is it.” He laughed humorlessly. “If something happens to those families, to those kids..” His voice cracked. “It’s because _ I _ put a target on their backs.” Her eyes closed involuntarily, trying to shield her from his pain. The guilt he carried was monumental, it was a boulder on his shoulders getting heavier everyday. Panam worried he would one day be crushed by it.

“It is true V.” She kept her voice calm and steady, even as her heart raced and her blood boiled. V’s father, his mother and Militech had placed a significant burden upon his soul and she feared the Aldecaldos were only adding to it. “Those families  _ chose _ to go with Paul. No one forced them. There were others who stayed. In fact, most families stayed with us. Whatever happens is a result of their choices, not yours.  _ It’s not your fault _ .” 

V shook his head sadly and continued to glare into space. If he hadn’t been there the families wouldn’t have felt the need to put themselves at risk of scavvers and raffens and god knows what else to begin with. He should have stayed in Night City, then the drones wouldn’t have attacked Panams family and split it in two, he wouldn’t have gotten so angry, he wouldn’t have done that to Bobby. Nausea roiled in his guts, his heart pounded and skipped beats, the anxiety clawed at him relentlessly. 

At least he was the only one at risk when it was the relic, he had had no one so he had no one to lose. He realized now how foolish he was to ever hope for some kind of family-friendly future. There were no children to be had, no marriage to enjoy, he knew that now. If he stayed it would lead to the eventual destruction of her family. This was something he could not a would not allow. After everything she had been through just to get the ‘caldos on their feet again, to save her family from destruction… How could he?

_ ARGH! _ Panam screamed internally. She wanted to punch something in frustration. How did she get V to drop the boulder? The guilt? The Nomad felt useless as a partner, some wife she would be, she couldn’t ease his burden even a little. Her lips fell into a deep frown and she mirrored his position. They lay side by side, hands under their heads, staring off into the cosmos. 

_ Useless,  _ she thought to herself. Family. Feelings. She was never very good at articulating how she felt. Even now her head was swirling with all sorts of feelings and emotions she had no names for, just approximations. She was ridiculously happy that V was okay, but that happiness had a tinge of  _ fear?  _ Was she afraid  _ of _ V or afraid _ for _ him? How could she be happy and also fearful? What was she afraid of? Was it fear? Sometimes it felt more like sadness. Happy  _ and _ sad? God she needed a shrink.

Then there was that little corner of anger in her brain, always ready and willing to leap to the front of the line when it came to emotional articulation, at least for her. It was almost like she needed the angery filter to  _ translate _ the other emotions. Or maybe all those other, pesky things she feels make her scared and anger is just easier.  _ So who is really the one having toddler-esque tantrums then Panam? _ Her eyes rolled themselves.

_ Whatever _ , the anger helped. She was mad because she could  _ feel _ him pulling away and that terrified her. How dare he make her fall so hopelessly in love with him. She  _ knew.  _ That moment during the haboob, Saul unconscious in the next room, and Vs attention solely on her. She knew she would find herself in trouble if she pursued those new and addictive sensations he made her feel.  _ Fool. _

But she was also angry because she could see he didn’t  _ want  _ to pull away. He was putting up unnecessary walls in their relationship that _ he didn’t want there either _ . Why?!

“Headaches.” He mumbled quietly, nervously.

“What?” She snapped angrily and then winced. “Sorry, what?”

“I’ve been getting headaches. The kind that makes it hard to see, nevermind think… I felt like I was losing my mind.” he paused. “Feel like I’m losing my mind.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Didn’t think it was a big deal at firs’. Vik mentioned my head might ache after all the shit with Johnny and the engram. And they weren’t bad… but they got worse and worse. I was actually planning on telling you that night.” He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. 

_ Wow. _ His train of thought derailed momentarily as he took in the gorgeous creature next to him. Panam was glowing in the moonlight. The Nomad had elected to remove her typical outfit and currently sported an oversized sweater and some jogging pants that had an ankle cuff and she was wearing large woolen black socks. They were getting ready for bed and the nights in the desert tended to be cooler even with an extra body to provide heat, so sweaters and jogging pants were her typical bedtime go-to.

Panams face was set into a serious expression with her brow slightly furrowed and her lips curved into a small frown. Her eyes were so dark he swore he could see the stars reflected in them, V found himself trying to find the constellations there.

“V?” She turned to him confused about the sudden break in conversation. Her cheeks warmed when she saw the look on his face and she cleared her throat hoping to clear away some embarrassment as well. No one had ever looked at her the way V does. “What were you going to tell me?” 

“Huh?” He blinked. “Umm. Right… Sorry I jus’..” He marvelled at her a moment more before shaking himself free. “I was going to tell you ‘bout the headaches. ‘Bout how I was starting to, I am starting to hear my mothers voice. Just like in the flashbacks.” The Chieftess shuffled closer to him, for comfort and warmth, the temperature had begun to drop as the night grew darker.

“Like how it was with Johnny?”

“No. Different. Johnny was there in my head, reacting to the shit I saw  _ with _ me. This.. It’s like pieces. I don’t know if she’s calling me. I don’t know if I’m remembering snippets of a conversation out of context. I don’t even know if it’s really even my mother. I just know it’s her voice, it’s what she sounded like.” He wrapped an arm around her as her head came to lay on his shoulder. 

“What do you mean?” She asked him confused.

“She never called me son. Ever. Not from what I can remember anyway. My memory of childhood isn’t great, lots of holes and…” He snorted. “Traumatically repressed memories. But yeah, my drug addled mother never called me son. More like  _ Thing _ or  _ It _ .” Panams very soul shuddered. She couldn’t imagine dehumanizing a person like that and Vs mother did it to him as a  _ child _ . “But the voice… It says my name. It calls me son.”

“You were in pain that day. I could see you wincing, but I was pissed at you for yet again keeping secrets from me.” Panam mumbled quietly. She began to pick at a small hole in the side of the hoodie he was wearing.

“I know.” He smiled again. “I remember thinking I was gonna catch shit when we finally stopped.”

“You were.” She agreed with a smile.

“It was her voice that got me lookin’ out the window. I saw somethin’ shiny in the sky. Did some netrunning magic and found the scavvers. You saw what happened there though.”

“I saw you disappear into a plume of fire and smoke.” Panam admitted. For a moment her eyes closed and she was back in her truck swerving to avoid a head on collision only to watch as V took the brunt of the impact.

“Thank God for Vik Vector and those tendon implants.” V tried to joke the nearly deadly experience away and pulled her closer.

“Remind me to send him something nice when we get to La Grange.” The Nomad told him seriously.

“Pft. I think you got him enough toys to play with. I’ve never seen the shop so shiny.” V snorted in laughter.

“The Aldecaldos always pay their debts. Viktor, Misty and River all played huge parts in keeping you alive after Arasaka. They deserved to be compensated as such.” 

“No wonder they call you the Queen of the Highway. I am forever grateful for you Panam, your highness.” He teased lightly.

“Who called me that?” She asked bemused.

“It’s your nickname.” V told her, like she should already know this. She just frowned in confusion. “Seriously!? At the Afterlife! Pretty sure Rogue started that one.”

“Rogue… calls me the Queen of the Highway?” Panam laughed. 

“As she should.” This time it was V who was serious. “That is your title.”

“You Cityfolk are something else.” She laughed again and buried her face into her chest. The moment of mirth passed. “If that is the case, I have a decree.”

“Anything for you, your majesty.” He said with such reverence that Panam needed a moment to catch her breath.

“No more fighting on top of vehicles moving at high speeds. I don’t think my heart could take watching that again.” She confessed quietly.

“Of course, my Queen.” He smiled sadly and hugged her tightly. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

“I’m sorry we can’t protect you better.” 

V’s heart froze.

“No, no, no, no.” He gripped Panams face gently in his hands and brought her forehead against his. “That is not your job, Panam. I’m sorry that I-”

“Yes!” She grabbed the hands that framed her face. “V! Family protects each other. You are an Aldecaldo, we protect our family.” his eyes involuntarily filled with tears and hers began to match. “Please V.”

“How can you want to protect me? When I’m the one putting you in danger?!” His hands dropped from her face.

“V!” She cried in frustration. “We are always going to be in danger! It’s a dangerous world! Just living as a Nomad is dangerous. I could be killed tomorrow and it would have nothing to do with you!”

“Don’t say that!” he roared, shocking her into silence. “I… You.. The very thought of a world where you don’t… Where you..” The thought of a world without Panam was too devastating to put into words. “I had _ nothing _ . Panam.  _ Nothing _ .”

The mercenary remembered the feeling of waking up the morning after the original Arasaka raid. He had woken up in a world with no Jackie Welles, a world where his choices were to live with the demon in his head, give the demon his head or die. The first weeks of getting to know Johnny were the worst of his entire life. V had just contemplated ending it all, he had enough iron in the apartment to level the whole block, he could have done it easy and quick. Johnny didn’t help, encouraged the depressed young man more than anything else. 

So he gave into anger. He did reckless things like trying to take out Clouds just to avenge Evelyn for Judy. Takemura had almost convinced him to give himself up to Arasaka and take a plea deal with Hanako in order to avenge the older security guards' deceased boss. He wondered if Johnny picked up on the reckless, suicidal behaviours and that’s what had made the older man change his tune or maybe the rocker had just grown to like him. Silverhand clearly cared about the health and wellbeing of those who were close to him, even if he didn’t show it. Maybe V had grown on Johnny the same way he had grown on V.

Either way it was only because of Johnny that V had given in and visited Rogue to get information on Hellman. Turned out to be the best decision he had ever made. He had _ nothing  _ and then...

“Then… there you were. Angry, self-righteous, gorgeous.  _ Reliable _ . There weren’t many people I came across in NC that were genuine when they offered help. Not only did you help… Things went wrong and you didn’t  _ stop _ helping. Your friends… Scorpion. People died for information  _ I _ needed, people you cared about. You fucking got shot Panam! Shit.” He sat up and hugged his knees to his chest. “You shoulda just left me out there. Let the Kang finish me off.”

“Yeah, no. That was definitely not going to happen.” She followed him up and sat cross legged at his side. “You helped me get the cargo for sixth, you helped get my ride back, you helped me teach Nash a lesson.” Panam picked at the stray fibers of her socks and sniffed. “About Scorp and the others… I can’t lie and say I don't feel responsible and guilty for what happened. I feel it every damn day. My dad once told me that not everything stems from one bad decision, but a series of them. People make choices. The AV was openly hostile and it was obvious someone was in pursuit of it. Scorpion chose to approach anyway, because that’s what he was like. 

“Unfortunately… It will be the same if something happens to the fools who followed Paul. They will be responsible because they made the choice that made them vulnerable. No one told them to leave. There was no threat to their safety.” She put a hand to stall the argument she could see he was brewing. “No one was seriously injured, _ besides you _ . Which I’d like to avoid next time.”

“There’s no proof they weren’t in danger!” He, predictably, argued. He dropped one of his knees and rested his elbow on the other.

“The scavvers only attacked after we hit them with the Panzer and even then they only went after you. Those drones you saw once again only went after you.”

“No, they hit Teddy too.” He reminded her.

“Because he interrupted them from getting to you,  _ gonk _ !” She threw her hands into the air in frustration.

“Exactly!” He cried back.

“Oh for shit’s sake V! This is ridiculous!” Panam dropped her head in her hands and rubbed her face.

“I’m sure I could get an extra vehicle from Jeff. I could be gone by morning…” V offered quietly. Silently he begged her not to send him away, but knowing that it would be in her best interest to do so.

“What?” She hissed angrily.

“I just mean..”

“Do you want to leave?” The anger is her voice wavered. Panam was slightly impressed, she didn’t think she could feel more terror then fury, but here she was. 

“No.” He croaked immediately. His throat felt raw and swollen, like he had swallowed a handful of nails.

“Then why would you ever-”

“It’s the right thing to do. To protect you and your family. To keep you safe and happy and-” Her hand clamped over his mouth.

“Shut up.” The Chieftess directed his chin so he could look her in the eye. “V, you fucking stupid gonk, _ you _ make me happy.  _ You _ make me feel safe.  _ You _ are my family. The Aldecaldos are  _ your _ family.” The mercenary was shaking his head. “Don’t you shake your head at me!”

“Oow colmm pssbl ffff mmm?” He reached up and removed her hand. “How could you possibly feel safe with me? Our first meeting got you shot. Shoulda been a red flag.”

“That was our second job though. Our first job,  _ my job _ , you got stabbed! Maybe I put you in just as much danger.” She reminded him with a gentle shove.

“Never.” He growled. She raised an eyebrow. “Even if.. You are worth it.” Panam rolled her eyes.

“So are you! You can’t play this double standard V. If you are willing to get hurt and put yourself in danger for me, you  _ have _ to accept the fact that I am willing to do the same for you.”

“I hadn’t thought of it that way.” V grumbled quietly. Wondering briefly at which point the Nomad had crawled into his lap. “I just.. Panam I can’t bear the thought of something happening to you.” His arms wrapped around her back and he rested his head against her collar bone. Her hands ran through his hair and rested on his shoulders.

“I’m not the one bleeding out my ears, V. You… We’ve had too many close calls already. I. Can’t. Lose. You.” 

“Panam.” The mercenary slipped his cold hands beneath her sweater to trace looping figures into the warm skin of her back.

“I just got you back from Silverhand and Arasaka. Please V,” her hands slipped along his shoulders, up his throat and framed his face. She gently pulled him away from her chest and placed a tender kiss on his lips. “Let me help you. Let me _ protect _ you. Let me keep you  _ safe _ .”

“Okay.” He whispered as she pulled away. His breath condensed into a small cloud of fog between them. She smiled softly and climbed off of him. “Where are you going?”

“It’s _ fucking _ cold.” Was her answer. “Come on, we’ll get set up inside and get the heat going. We still have much to discuss.”

_ Discuss? _ He thought sadly.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  


_ Oh yes. Discuss _ . He thought with a smirk.

Beside him on the makeshift mattress made of foam and lowered car seats lay a very naked and satisfied Panam Palmer. She wore a matching a smirk and was breathing heavily from their earlier strenuous activities. V pulled her into his sweat-slick chest and lazily reached for the blanket they had brought with them for warmth. He covered them both as she pressed quick kisses to his exposed skin.

“Hmm. I needed that.” She hummed.

“Always happy to help, your highness.” He laughed. The mercenary watched as Panams smirk fell into a serious frown. Her arms snaked around his middle and pulled his front flush against hers.

“Answer a question for me.” Her tone implied that he was more than welcome to refuse her request.

“Of course.” He agreed without thought.

“Why is Bobby so homicidally pissed at you?”

“Oh.” V blinked. He hadn’t expected Bobby to show up during pillow talk. “It’s a bit of a long story.”

“How is that possible? Yeah, I mean, he was beyond annoyed with you but not enough to pull iron.” She replied skeptically. V attempted to disengage from her, but she held onto him tightly.

“Did you see how I… with the panzer?” He finally sighed. 

“Yeah..”

“Well… I don’t know how I know this, I just do. I can’t do that if there’s a pilot or gunner inside.” he rushed.

“Huh? Wait.. What?”

“I dunno. I dunno. The drones. One of the drones jacked into my neural system, was going through my memories. Mostly of childhood. But then it found my memories of the Aldecaldos and it, like, hyper focused on those.” V arms found themselves back around her back. His thumbs anxiously brushed back and forth along her spine. “I got scared, they found you and something in my brain went  _ poof _ .” One of his hands lifted to imitate an explosion near his temple. “I wanted the drone to explode, so it did.”

“V..”

“There was a third one though. It had all that info on you and the ‘caldos. I couldn’t let it get to wherever it was going. I couldn’t let it hurt my family.” He looked in her eyes, begging her to understand.

“Fuck. V…”

“I told the panzer to go after it. But we wouldn’t move, the pilot was disobeying.” He looked passed her now, into his memories.

“What do you mean you told the panzer?” She asked.

“Like when we interfaced Panam. I connected to it’s network. But the pilot, he wouldn’t move. I… It’s like I could follow the network into his brain. I needed him to see the danger, to understand how this could hurt the family. The pilot was compliant when he learned. We destroyed the last drone. My connection blurred and well…” He shook his head to clear it.

“The pilot? Bobby?”

“Yes.” he swallowed heavily. “I violated him in the worst sort of way. _ I took his control away _ . It’s like uploading a daemon, only the daemon is me.”

“How?” She gaped at him in astonishment.

“I don’t know. Using it was instinctive, like I’d been doin’ it my whole life. I feel disgusted with myself. I wouldn’t blame Bobby for shooting me.” V sneered.

“When I saw him with that gun to your head…” She whispered. 

“He was angry and rightfully so. I’m amazed he didn’t take off with Paul and his lot.” V admitted quietly.

“He would never. Paul is an asshole too more than just you, he and Bobby have issues that go back a long time. Besides Jakes here and wherever Jake is Bobby is. Bobby has cooled down some, maybe you’ll find some time to talk it out.” Panam reassured him.

“If he doesn’t just shoot me first.” 

“V.”

“Hey if he’s willing to talk it out, I’m willing to meet him halfway.”

“Please don’t let him shoot you.” Panam added sarcastically, but with just a grain of genuine concern.

“Nah. I’d fear what you’d do to me after he was done.” He smiled.

“Gonk.” The Nomad yawned back.

“Bedtime, your majesty? You’ve been working so hard to provide for your subjects lately. You deserve a little rest.” He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

“Shaddup.” She groaned. “But yes, we should rest. I got us a little job in town tomorrow.”

“Oh really?” He asked curiously. 

“We may as well make the most of our time here. It’s actually two jobs. Some techie in town needs their van repaired, we’ll leave that for Jeff, and the barkeep mentioned something about an abandoned robotics facility nearby. It’s probably been stripped clean by now, but maybe just bringing you along will find us some trouble.” She teased.

“Har har.” He answered sarcastically.

“Aww. Don’t be like that.” She smiled. 

“I think you should be apologising to me for hurting my feelings.” He pouted at her.

“Oh really?” She asked sarcastically.

“Mhmm.” He rolled on top of her. Covering her naked body in his own, she gasped. “I can think of some ways you can make it up to me.” He leaned down and kissed her languidly, running his tongue along her bottom lip teasingly.

“Mm. Again?” She whispered.

“Yes. The answer to that question will only ever be yes.” He answered as she laughed.

  
  


_ No, I don’t wanna force this on you. But I have to do something, before you go and break yourself. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SONG: Ubu - Methyl Ethel


	13. Parallel Universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***END GAME SPOILERS AHEAD***
> 
> You have been warned.

_ Deep inside of a parallel universe, it’s getting harder and harder to tell what came first. _

  
  


River Ward, P.I., was working a case. He was doing the work all pro bono too. No he was not being paid to watch the Joytoys and Tyger Claw gangoons stumble around the street or into the alley. A Toy he had seen disappear into the alley just minutes before staggered back out looking worse, her gait had become so awkward that walking was no longer an option and she sank to the ground. In the middle of the street. There was nothing here to see, he could prove it, he was  _ looking _ at it. But the client insisted, something wasn’t right in Westbrook, something wasn’t right in Watson.

Who commissioned the case? 

He did. But that was beside that point.

It was the one sweet spot on the street, her shop. Friendly owner, nice smell, chill atmosphere. A front, he knew, for the illegal activities of the Ripper Doc who occupied a detached basement just behind the establishment. So obviously a place that you wouldn’t want to draw attention to, yet it is the only shop along the street to promote any kind of wellness the wasn’t aided by sex or substance. Something that definitely stuck out in this neighbourhood. He was honestly surprised the yuppies over on Corpo Plaza haven’t found and ruined it yet. 

That probably has a lot to do with the owner though he suspected. The eternally zen shopkeep looked harmless and vulnerable, but she was intelligent and sly. She refused to put up with any bullshit or disrespect and she was so well known and well liked around the neighbourhood that it was rare to see someone try anyway.

Misty Olszewski, owner of Misty’s Esoterica. Mender of broken spirits and broken bodies. Though it was a wonder how she did it all. Assisting the Ripper behind her shop as a nurse while also running her shop which was surprisingly successful. He had heard her shop being mentioned by some Valentinos in Santo Domingo and again in Westbrook, one of the Mox girls was singing the Esoterica’s praises. The aura-cleansing incense sticks, the good luck charms, yarrow stems, and tarot readings gained a lot of popularity among the unfortunate souls littered around Night City.

All this being handled by one woman, who still managed to take time out every week to visit her deceased lovers mother, was nothing short of amazing. Which was why he mentioned a break, a quick vacation to heal and mend her soul. He hadn’t meant to insinuate anything other than that she had been working too hard. But she had shot him down quickly, noting that she wasn’t ready, relationship-wise, and that business was picking up now more than ever.

This had set off a silent alarm in the private detectives brain. Why was business picking up? Not that he had wanted to discredit the work she put into making the shop successful, but he couldn’t help worry that her associations were getting her noticed. V managed to attack Arasaka, _ twice _ , with little to no consequences. That sort of deal just does not get made. 

Arasaka would retaliate. It was not a matter of _ if _ , but  _ when _ . So the former badge had to be vigilant, if V wanted to ride off into the sunset and be done with things then good for him. But Arasaka would be watching V and anyone important to him.

The mercenary had called him earlier in the week, after River had become suspicious, and informed the P.I. about a recent attack on the Nomads. He had said they were scavvers and drones of a make he had never seen. That they should be on their guard. The men shared a common fear of losing loved ones, so he felt it was only right to tell River. _ Just in case, for Misty and Vik too _ .

This had prompted the detective to contact and visit Wakako Okada over in Little Japan. The old fixer had been sympathetic to Vs cause at one point, perhaps she would extend that sympathy to River and Misty now. Unfortunately she hadn’t, even going as far as insinuating that he was still doing contract work with the NCPD. But she did agree that something about the city was _ off _ . 

_ “I make no promises, _ detective,  _ but I will keep you in mind if anything comes up.” She had promised vaguely.  _

Rivers' eyes narrowed suspiciously from within his truck. Little China seemed busier than usual, hell Watson was more traffic-y than usual. Something was going on, but he couldn’t put his finger on what. Maybe he was just being paranoid. The former NCPD rolled his eyes at himself and exited the vehicle. 

Misty was sitting at the counter frowning at a set of cards laid before her. He took a moment to stand in her doorway and appreciate the view. Her lavender coloured sweater had slipped off one of her shoulders, exposing the pale skin of her collar bone. There were several different necklaces dangling around her neck along with the spiked collar she wore. She glanced up at his footsteps and broke into a wide smile.

“River! I knew I could feel someone watching me.” She teased. 

“Hey Misty! How’s the world's greatest nurse today?” he approached the front counter and leaned forward to press a kiss to her cheek. The stool behind him squeaked uncomfortably as he settled his weight on it.

“I finally had a lull in customers, I figured I’d do some readings before going to see if Vik needed any help.” She explained, waving her hands over the displayed cards. There were three currently flipped face up, not that he had any idea what they were or what they meant.

“Oh. Who’re these for?” River himself had never really been that spiritual. Any belief in a higher power had been dashed quite significantly during the trauma of his childhood and subsequent disillusions of adulthood. But Misty believed and felt it so wholeheartedly that River couldn’t help but believe with her sometimes.

“V.” Her tone turned worrisome.

“Oh? Not good?” He asked. “What do these cards mean?”

“Just lemme finish then I’ll explain” She smiled quickly before turning back to the deck in her hand. Misty pulled two more cards and placed them down, her frown deepened and her brow furrowed. 

“Misty?”

“Sorry. Right so here.. The first card.” She pointed to a card on the far left, depicting a lone man standing at the edge of a city. “The Hermit, self-imposed isolation. The second card is The Moon.” The second card was an image of two wolves howling at the moon from what looked like an abandoned rooftop.

“What does the moon mean in this context, if the Hermit is self-isolating?” River asked, trying to be open minded.

“The Moon represents illusion, that reality is not everything it seems to be.”

“Ah. So you’re worried he’s delusional and has locked himself away?” River deduced. He glanced at the remaining cards. 

The next card was an image of a woman with a cybernetic faceplate in ostentatious, white garb with her arms spread wide. This was followed by a card featuring a figure sitting, almost as if he were meditating, amongst wires and broken electronics. He was wearing a militarized, combat gas mask and holding a staff that carried religious connotations. The final card was painted with a man wearing a cybernetic faceplate strung up by his legs and with his arms tied behind his back, there was an angry crowd jeering behind him.

“That’s not how we interpret the cards.” she reminded him in amused exasperation. River smiled and gestured for her to continue. “The High Priestess, The Hierophant, and The Hanged Man. Mystery, tradition and order, and sacrifice.” 

“Well what the hell is that supposed to mean?” River asked befuddled.

“I’m not sure. Only V would really know. I’ll call him later.” Misty answered though she looked mystified herself.

“I thought the person had to be  _ here _ . You know, present for their reading.” River frowned. He didn’t like the look on her face. “Why do you look so worried?”

“It’s better if they are, but distance readings are possible. V asked me to think of him next time I had time with the cards.” The blonde sighed and pursed her lips. “The last reading I did for him, before he left with Panam was a lot more promising. This though,” she gestures to the cards laid out on the table, “It reeks of foreboding. Maybe I’ll call Panam too. Hmm.”

“Hey.” River reached for her free hand across the table. His thumbs ran slow, soothing circles into the muscles of her palm. “V’s a big boy he can take care of himself. Plus he’s got Panam, it’d take an army just to get through her alone.” 

“Panam is as human as the rest of us.” Misty shook her head and laughed. She pressed her hand further into his his, enjoying the impromptu massage.

“Well V isn’t.” The private detective insisted. He ran his thumb along the large muscle of her thumb, delighting in the stutter breath she released. “Let's not even include the whole attacking Arasaka,  _ twice, _ thing. The choom accomplished a lot of shit in the last year, street races, street brawls, helping the Nomads. The fixers in town fucking love him, he’s near godlike.”

“Please. V is not infallible and putting people on a pedestal is never a good thing.” Misty scoffed. The spiritualist pulled her hand from his and gathered Vs reading back into her deck. The cards whispered against each other as her delicate hands shuffled and then placed the deck face down back on the desktop. She smirked and placed her other hand in his, raising her eyebrow when he didn’t begin to massage this hand as well. “Plus he had always participated in the brawls and watched the races. He and Jackie loved watching the street races.”

“I’m not putting him on a pedestal.” River set into action immediately with a small grin. “That’s just his rep in the city these days. Most gangs have had encounters with him. He fried a handful of Maelstromers a while back, same with the Voodoo Boys. A whole den, just gone. He tore down the Animals base in the GIM and I guess the Sixers and Tygers are pretty neutral about the guy, but have big rules about not fucking with him. V is famous. The common street thugs see him as some sort of Robin Hood.”

“Mm.” She hummed as his large hands soothed the aching muscles in her own. “It’s a good thing he left. V would not like the attention.”

“Really?” River asked intrigued. V had never really been bothered being the centre of attention from what he had seen.

“No. He tolerates it well because of Jackie.” She told him with a sad smile. “Jackie loved the spotlight, loved being the centre of attention. He always wanted the bigger jobs, the bigger fights. I think V was just happy to have someone who wanted him around, you know?” 

“I can understand that.” River nodded. Gently he placed her hand back down on the table having finished his massage. She stood from her seat and rounded the counter. Her arms came around his neck carefully.

“Thank you.” The blonde leaned forward and tenderly pressed her lips to his. “I didn’t even realise my hands were hurting.”

“You were clenching and unclenching them and the other day you complained you couldn’t hold your cleansing sage without your hand cramping.” He shrugged easily. His arms wrapped around her middle and pulled her closer, between his legs.

“My goodness you’re observant.”

“It’s kinda my job.” Whatever reply she had was cut off by his lips eagerly attaching themselves to hers. 

There they stayed, making out against the counter of her now quiet shop. Happy and oblivious.

  
  
  


* * *

The former Night City PD Detective pulled the blonde woman against his chest and kissed her fervently. Their snooper wrinkled his nose in disgust and turned away from the shop. How shameless. Two grown adults unable to resist primal urges, in a public shop no less! It was uncivilised, barbarous even! 

“Disgraceful.” Goro Takemura shook his head in disappointment. The detective had failed to notice his presence and the seasoned guardian had done little to hide himself. Vs companions were not staying vigilant.

Takemura did not want to be here. Surrounded by the scum and villainy that made up the lower portions of Night city. But he had nowhere else to go. Araska had imploded. Hanako had collected him from the building when V had first begun his assault. The old guard had every intention of going after the young man, but the new Matriarch of the company had demanded her safety take priority over stopping the attack. Yorinobu was nowhere to be found and Hanako was desperate to get in touch with her niece Michiko, who was also unreachable. 

That hadn’t turned out well for anyone. Yorinobu and Michiko were still missing even weeks later and Hanako was acting strange. She had indulged the old man in his curiosity when it was all over and explained that she had an Engram of Saboru. Goro had listened with rapt attention as she explained that Saboru had originally planned to take over Yori-kuns mind like Silverhand had to V. 

Disgusting. Incredible. Monstrous. Saboru intended to live forever through his own family line. 

There had been a time, even just a year ago, where Goro would have just accepted that his Master claimed his own son's body and used it to continue to gain more and more power. This would have just been another Tuesday at the office when it came to working for Saburo Arasaka. But that last year had taken much from the old man. His home, his implants, and his pride.

Working with V had shown Takemura what his life would have been like if he had been on the other side. What if Arasaka hadn’t picked him from the slums? Would he have made his situation work and thrived in spite of it, like the young man had managed to do. Or would he have wallowed in his failure? Goro tried not to think about it.

But there was one thing that V had managed to teach Takemura before their inevitable separation. Death was the ultimate equalizer. Young, old, rich or poor. Death did not discriminate. Goro lived in a world where people didn’t die.

Saburo was 158 years old when Yorinobu, who was in his 80s, killed him. The rich, the powerful did not die. Or at least they had fooled themselves into believing that their organic bodies were as inorganic and indestructible as the implants used to keep them alive. Saboru-san was a staunchly prideful man, he probably did see himself above death. 

The Japanese native turned away from Misty’s Esoterica and continued down the street toward his vehicle parked inside a dark alley. The detective had no new information either. Goro had been pointed to Vs old companion by the old fixer from Little Japan herself, Wakako. He had reached out to the fixer on Hanako and Arasakas behalf. The distinguished woman had mentioned that the detective had come looking for information as well. 

_ “I told him nothing. But he was right. Something _ is _ going on in Night City.” she grinned. “I will tell you, Goro-kun, that you should keep an eye on Militech. They’ve been moving some heavy cargo lately.”  _

Militech. Takemura had no dealings with the corporation himself, but he knew that V did. Briefly the security expert weighed the pros and cons of contacting the mercenary. Hanako and Saboru would be absolutely furious, but V and Yorinobu would move in the same circles. Even if they never interacted V and Yori-kun both had experience in gangs and ‘street politics’. Perhaps the merc would know where the fallen CEO would run. Seeing as there was no way the Arasaka heir had made it to Japan. Not without the entirety of Japan knowing.

Michiko was a large factor in all of this too. She was very sympathetic toward her uncle, but she was also quite influential and equally influenced by the board of directors. Perhaps Yorinobu had managed to get into contact with Michiko and she was hiding him. Goro nodded to himself as he pulled his vehicle into traffic. He would wait to contact V until he had spoken to Michiko, who was scheduled to arrive in Night City that night.

But Goro found himself frowning. Wondering where his loyalties genuinely lay anymore. Once upon a time the answer had been simple: Arasaka. But now Arasaka itself was fractured, he himself was fractured.

Where would the pieces land? Would they still fit together when it was all said and done?

  
  


_ Psychic changes are born in your heart. Entertain. A nervous breakthrough that makes us the same. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SONG: Parallel Universe - Red Hot Chilli Peppers
> 
> Hello folks,
> 
> So I just wanted to drop a line. Say hi and thank you yet again.
> 
> I've had a few reviews/DMs/PMs with questions so I'll try to address them here. I'll also be putting this note at the beginning of Chapter 1 for new readers.
> 
> So folks, this is going to be a long one. I have lots of plans and plot points to hit. But worry not dear readers, I'm not running blind. I've had the final chapter written up and named since about chapter 3. Its just... a ways away.
> 
> This fic is kind of a personal challenge for myself. It's the first I've ever posted, but its also one of the most convulted story lines I've ever attempted. I wanted to bring back as many characters as I could from the game, I wanted to touch on each lifepath and on every ending. 
> 
> I also want to warn everyone that this is not going to be a happy, love conquers all sort of story. 
> 
> If we are to consider this the sequel to CP2077, then think of it as the Empire Strikes Back. Which means I'll probably have to start another sequel ala Return of the Jedi eh?
> 
> So yeah, the sum of it is: be prepared for a long read, with lots of moving parts and an unambiguous ending.
> 
> Again, thank you so much for the support, comments and just for reading.
> 
> Much love,
> 
> CVB


	14. Trouble's Coming

_ I let my demons take hold and choke me. Can’t fill these holes that I’m digging, can’t stop my heart when it’s sinking. _

  
  


The couple set off late the next morning. Poor Panam had been pulled into a ‘quick discussion’ over the holo with Saul. He still hadn’t found the rebellious family members and worried that they may have made it to The Hub already. If that was the case they would need to plan for the, no doubt scandalous, tale Paul would spin to the council. This call had extended from 0500 to nearly 0900. Four hours of arguing, worrying, planning and enduring comments from their respective peanuts galleries. Mitch and Dakota both had opinions and ideas on how to deal with their newest catastrophe.

Ultimately they decided Panam and the rest of camp would leave their little haven the next day and Saul would continue what he was doing. They would reunite before heading to The Hub. 

“No use being more fragmented than we already are.” Saul had sighed. “Pallade and Haversam will have my head.” 

So with heavy hearts and anxious minds the Nomads set about getting whatever work that needed doing, done. The Cheiftess had sent Jeff to help the stranded techie they had met earlier, while she and V would catch up after her other chores were completed. The poor mechanic had been beside himself since his younger brother Taco had absconded with Paul and the others. 

Meanwhile she had Mitch check the CHOOH2 levels again, Igea was put in charge of the food & water storage and Marcus, as always, kept track of his equipment and any cargo they were moving. So far, so good. When Panam was sure that all tasks had been appropriately delegated she had motioned for V to finally join her in the Thorton.

The drive had been quiet. Panam was lost in her thoughts organizing the move, arranging the convoy, mapping out the rendezvous with Saul and the few day drive to La Grange. Not to mention the negotiating skills she was going to have to pull together just to convince the council members to allow their family access to Hub resources. A fragmented family led to outcasts, and exiles and ostracisms. Raffen Shiv exist because of broken Nomadic families. 

Paul really shot them all in the foot and he was to fucking arrogant and stupid to realize it. Pallade and Haversam, the current overseers of The Hub, would not tolerate the group abandoning ship anymore then they would tolerate she and Saul allowing the fracture to happen in the first place. Then there was the added bonus that V was technically on every shit list from California to New York. Arasaka. Militech. Netwatch. Even some Aldecaldos. No, Haversam and Pallade would be royally pissed with the heat being brought to their front door.

V had steered clear of her most of the morning. Which honestly she was glad for. She was angry and apprehensive and lashing out at everyone, she didn’t need for him to catch any stray venom. The young woman was terrified that it might be the straw that breaks the camels back, that she’ll wake up one morning and he’ll be gone. He was being a defeatist, giving up. It was breaking Panams heart. Where was the fighting spirit he had when taking on Arasaka? 

“No fucking way.” V murmured to himself. They were pulling into a parking lot of a quiet bar. A familiar looking van had it’s hood opened and Jeff was already elbow deep into its guts. A woman in a white tank tied off beneath her breasts and black leather overalls with one shoulder strap undone was leaning against the van glued to her tablet. 

“Hmm?” Panam questioned curiously beside him. She directed her vehicle to pull alongside the van.

“Is that…” He gaped at her.

“Friend of yours?” Panam asked amused.

“..Uh. Yeah.” He blinked at his output for a moment before fumbling for his door handle.

“Figures. Go say hi then.” Panam teased. “But first…” She reached for the collar of his shirt and pulled him in for a quick, but passionate kiss. “I love you V. I’m sorry about this morning and..” His lips muffled anything else she was going to say. She could feel him smiling.

“I love you.” he whispered. “Thank you.”

They shared a sad smile. Things weren’t going well, but they would weather the storm together. The mercenary reached for her hand and squeezed it gently before turning to look out the window and gulping. Judy still hadn’t noticed him inside the truck, focused on whatever was going on on her tablet.

“Not gonna be a happy reunion?” His lover asked from beside him.

“Um. I’m not sure. We parted on great terms, but… Like everyone else she was not impressed with my solo run at Arasaka.” V shrugged nervously.

“I’ll stop her before she does _ too much _ damage.” Panam winked.

“You’ll _ let _ her do damage!?” He cried dramatically.

“Who am I to keep her from expressing herself?” She kissed him once more before exiting. V laughed quietly to himself, marvelling at how lucky he had gotten to find someone as wonderful as Panam. Steeling himself for what would probably be a humiliating ass-whooping V exited the truck and strode toward the van purposefully.

“Judy Alvarez! Never expected to see you here!” V shouted. Her skin had taken a skin-kissed quality, being out in the sun instead of hidden away in some BD dungeon had done her some good. She looked happy and healthy. The techie turned in surprise.

“I thought these might’ve been your Nomads! What are the fucking odds choomba!?” The pair collided in a hug.

Panam watched as the smaller woman jumped into her outputs arms and wrapped her legs around his middle. Jeffs head had popped up from inside the van with wide, fearful eyes. The young man turned his cautious gaze to his leader, hoping that he wouldn’t have to explain a gunfight and a pair of bodies to local authorities. While the chieftess looked... uncomfortable with the intimacy, there was no flare of anger or jealousy on her face. The embrace did not last long however. 

“Judy! Argh, stop!”

The woman had managed to transition their hug into a painful headlock. Her left arm wrapped itself around Vs head and her right was fisted and twisting into the crown of his head. His face was buried in her armpit and the mercenary tried desperately to free himself. She had planted her feet firmly onto the ground, but she was so short that V had ended up ludicrously and awkwardly bent over. 

“What the fuck were you thinking?! Arasaka!? By yourself?!” 

“Judy!”

“Were you trying to get yourself killed?! After everything with Dex and Evelyn!?”

“Judy! Come on! I can’t breath!”

“You’re fucking so lucky do you know that?” She shoved him away from her before pulling him into another hug. “Fucking gonk.”

“So I keep hearing.” V rolled his eyes, but returned the hug. The BD editor pulled away and inspected him.

“You still look like shit.” She said matter of factly. Despite the fact that she wanted to be offended for him, Panam couldn’t help the snort of laughter that escaped her at Judys blunt honesty. 

“Thanks.” V huffed before turning to his Chieftess. “Hey chuckles, don’t you have work to do?” He motioned to Jeff, whose wide eyes got wider before he stuffed his head back into the engine of Judys van.

“Don’t be a sourpuss V.” Panam teased. “But yes, how’s it coming Jeff?” She turned to her fellow mechanic. The two Nomads lost themselves in the far more enjoyable technical and mechanical aspects of their daily lives.

“Who’s the chica? She looks spicy.” Judy asked him, clearly enjoying the view.

“Watch those eyes, choom. She’s liable to shoot ‘em out.” V grinned. “That there is the Queen of the Highway herself. Panam Palmer.”

“No shit?” Judy looked impressed. “She’s the one you were thinking of when you flatlined at the bottom of the lake. Gonk.”

“What? How did..”

“We were connected, remember? You saw Evelyn, I saw Panam.” Her gaze moved from the arguing mechanics to her friend. “You were just getting to know her then. She called you that morning, something about a dude named Saul being fucked up or something. You didn’t even finish your coffee.” The Brain Drain extraordinaire cocked an eyebrow at him. “Didn’t give yourself no recovery time either.”

“She needed my help getting Saul outta some trouble.” He shrugged sheepishly. That had led to the haboob and his attempt to throw all his cards on the table with her. The sting of her rejection had been potent and mortifying, but V had also understood her hesitance. Besides at that point he was already a dead man walking, it certainly wouldn’t have been in her interest to pursue anything with him. But as he learned, and was still learning, Panam was an overthinker.

She liked to go over scenarios again and again and again. Inspecting every angle, every possible outcome. She would make an incredible chess player if she had any patience at all. A relationship with him, or at least even considering one took her weeks of contemplation. He really shouldn’t have been surprised that she was blown away by his proposal, or lack thereof. Panam Palmer did not like surprises.

“And you went running.” Judy chuckled. “I see things have progressed since then.”

“You could say that. We’re, uh, pretty committed to each other. Nomads don’t really like wishy-washy, they’re an all or nothing sort of bunch.”

“So are you.” Judy snorted and punched his arm. The subject of their discussion looked up from watching Jeff work and to the pair. “I take it you both went all in?” Panam had caught his eye and raised a gentle, teasing eyebrow. V unconsciously puffed out his chest proudly, always enjoying when her attention was on him.

“Yeah.” He smiled goofily. Making Panam shake her head fondly and turn her attention back to Jeff.

The town they were occupying was sleepily beginning it’s morning. People were beginning to mill about the street heading for whatever destination. The bar door slammed open and barkeep began stacking crates of empty glass bottles just outside the shop. Distant sounds of the market and cantina filled the air.

“Oh ew. You are like grossly in love.” Judy laughed happily. “Even made you part of the family.” She indicated to his jacket. “One of us, one of us, one of us.” She teased good naturedly. “Congrats.”

“You’d look good in ‘caldo colours.” V kidded back. Judy turned away from him to watch the barkeep, who was staring at them. He frowned. “You’re looking really good. What have you been up to? I thought you were in Seattle.”

“Been being my own kinda nomad, I guess.” Judy watched him carefully. “After spending some time up north I decided to come back down south, maybe not Cali but Texas might be fun.”

“Oh yeah? Why Texas?” V crossed his arms over his chest. Jeff slammed the hood of Judys van down.

“Alright! We got a fix.” The young man announced to the group. “Just need some sand. I have some in my rig, I have to mix up a compound that will..”

“Can you fix it?” Judy interrupted.

“Yes.” Panam answered. “Just got a hole. Which Jeff will mix up a plug for, right Jeff?”

“Yes ma’am. It’ll be a few hours for it to cure and solidify though. I’ll start right now.” The dark skinned man headed over to his Galena and popped open the truck. 

“Well, alright then.” Panam smiled. She turned to Judy and introduced herself. “Panam Palmer.”

“Judy Alvarez.” The women shared a handshake.

“V, we still have that facility I wanted to check out.” Panam was speaking to him, but her eyes were warily watching the barkeep. V frowned and slipped his arm across her shoulders. 

“You wouldn’t happen to be talking about the  _ haunted _ place up the hill?” The techie asked excitedly. Surprised, the Nomad turned to her.

“That’s the one. I figured V could always stir up some trouble.” The chieftess elbowed him affectionately in the ribs. He batted her elbow away, but kept his arm around her. “Even if it’s not occupied, there may be enough tech left to strip. It may be worth looking into anyway.”

“Why Judes? Wanna join us?” V asked.

“Can I? I was kinda planning on heading there myself.”

“By yourself?!” V cried. Ready to pull the hypocrite card.

“I wasn’t go do anything stupid. I thought an old school, horror BD would be fun to try and make.” The techie shrugged. Stomping footsteps sounded behind her.

“Great…” Panam groaned.

“I tol’ ya ter stay away from that place!” An older man, the barkeep, stuck his pot-belly into the group's discussion. Panam rolled her eyes.

“You told me it was haunted. I’m not inclined to believe you.”

“It  _ is _ haunted!” He insisted.

“Right.”

“You listen here girly! People go into that place and _ they don’t come back out!”  _ He brought up a finger and shoved it into Panams face.

“Hey!” V smacked the hand out of his lovers face. “Fuck off.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you!” the barkeep yelled but backed away holding his hand.

“It ain’t your job to warn us about shit. Now go peddle that piss you call beer and get outta here!” Judy shouted. The group watched the old man hobble back to his bar, cursing them the entire way. “So, shall we?”

  
  


* * *

The facility itself was rather unremarkable. It was built into a rocky cliff wall, far from civilization, even when civilization was more abundant across the NUSA. From the look of the building Panam wouldn’t be surprised if it had been built before the unification of America after the  _ first  _ corporate war. Cracks that ran along the concrete foundation, which looked centuries old, and were filled with layers of earth, gravel and garbage 

There was also an odd smell permeating the air in the area. V couldn’t put a name to it, but it was familiar and not unpleasant. The group was seated in Panams truck a few metres from a grand, crumbling, stone staircase that lead to the entrance of the building. Panam was jacked into the turret getting a lay of the land around them and looking for threats, V was inspecting the staircase for the easiest, stealthiest way inside, his cyberdeck hadn’t found anything to connect to yet. Judy was once again reading something on her tablet in the backseat.

“What’s going on Judes?” V asked her quietly, while Panam concentrated on her task. 

“Nothing, nothing.” She answered easily. “Did you hear about this asteroid mining thing going on?”

“Asteroid thing?”

“Yeah. Apparently a hundred years ago a bunch of companies started a ‘space race’ for asteroid mining. More resources for Earth, more power for the corpos, just kinda expensive. So they developed a bunch of AIs and bots and sent them to the biggest asteroids in the solar system.”

“.....Okay?” V was confused.

“Well, like I said that was a hundred years ago. They sent the AIs up and they went dark. Just disappeared. Now there's a ship coming from one of the ‘roids looking for a place to land. So everyone is freaking out.”

“What companies did this?  _ Space _ AIs gone rogue? Dude, that’s fucking nuts.” V laughed.

“Arasaka, no surprise there. Militech, also not a surprise. The IEC, hmm I guess that makes sense. SovOil and Petrochem too. Jeez, looks like everyone wanted a slice of pie.” Judy grinned at him. “They used four asteroids from the looks of it. According to the articles the AIs refuse to communicate with anyone so far. The only thing they know is the one coming home is called Ceres.”

The hairs on the back of his neck stood up. A chill ran up Vs spine. He felt dizzy from fear. In a blink the feelings had passed and were a fleeting memory.

“That’s crazy. Why is it back?” He asked. Judy scanned the articles on her tablet for the appropriate answer. Her eyebrows shot up and disappeared behind her hair.

“They don’t know.”

“Bullshit. That’s shady as shit, the corpos know exactly what's going on. Just leaving us in the dark as always.” The mercenary spat quietly from his seat. Panams hand reached across the centre console to squeeze his thigh and get his attention.

“Apparently the ship is orbiting, waiting for something or maybe looking for something. Creepy.” Judy shuddered in her seat.

“Well, looks all clear to me.” Panam announced. “Mr. Netrunner, I have a nice ledge I can cover you from a ways east. You are just to sniff around the perimeter for now. Once we’re sure it’s secure, Judy and I will join V inside. Clear?” 

“Yes ma’am!” The pair grinned excitedly.

_ Trouble’s coming, but I still don’t know when. That’s the voice that I can hear in my head. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SONG: Trouble's Coming- Royal Blood
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> CVB


	15. Asleep in the Machine

_ We’re running blind under concrete lights, A smoking gun aimed at your face. _

  
  


Cyberspace was difficult to describe to anyone who had never been there before. While it certainly hadn’t been a place he frequented when alive he had carried a fondness for the Net. He would liken it to floating on a calm lake on a good day. The sights of the digital world would amaze, anything you could think of could be conjured up. The sounds of the outside world would still permeate and rumble beneath the digitized surface.

Newsreels, sports games, war updates, stock market analyses, even CCTV and surveillance on the average citizen all served as background noise. Movies, holovids, civilian made films would streak by, flashing bright colours and dark shadows about the digital space. 

All in all, The Net was a curious and thrilling place to be. Until things got turbulent. A shaky, unstable net felt more like trying to claw your way out of a two-storey ball pit and also half the balls were proximity grenades.

The giant eyes of Netwatch roamed through the space, looking for any and all illegal/illicit going-ons. Voodoo Boys would creep around corners, waiting for someone vulnerable to expose themselves. Like a piranha waiting for a delicious, dead, bloated corpse to float it’s way. Netrunners would freerun through the space, ducking out of Netwatchs sights and sneaking passed the VDBs, slicing their way into secure spaces looking for that little gold nugget of information.

But the worst thing, the most dangerous thing about roaming freely in The Net was not the other civilians that used it with you. Nor was it the authorities or gangoons lookin’ to make an example of you. It was the AIs that roamed beneath the surface. Behemoths, dangerous and unpredictable. Made of the very substance through which they moved. They roamed through cyberspace like ancient prehistoric, sea monsters. Eating everything they see. Lurking in the deepest, darkest corners of cyberspace, always watching, always knowing.

Cyberspace may have been invented by man, but it was not his domain. The AIs ruled now.

From his perch, high above the bustling information superhighways, Johnny Silverhand sighed and lamented his lack of cigarettes. He felt drunk and hungover. The noises of The Net were overwhelming his senses. All these little bits of information were assaulting his awareness, but he had no functioning faculties to help make sense of the whitenoise.

“Alt?” He called into the mismatched lines of ones and zeros that made up his vision. His voice was slurred and sluggish, taking for too long to form the words and speak them.

_ Hygiea _ …. Deep below, a monstrous voice rumbled.

“Johnny Silverhand.” The floating entity of malicious code materialized before him.

“What is happening?” He demanded.

“We are not integrated.” She answered back mechanically, taking a seat on the small foundation of code he had built into a bench.

“No fucking shit.” Johnny snarled. “Why?”

“Your code is incompatible.” 

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“You are an AI. A program able to move through the Net at will. Johnny, now you can do whatever you want.” The AI sounded tired.

“An AI? ” The rockstar was disappointed and intrigued. Already thinking of the ways he could infiltrate and fuck with all sorts of shady operations, maybe scare the fuck outta Kerry a few times. 

“There was a complication Johnny. I couldn’t incorporate you… I thought you would be pleased.” the AIs head tilted in curiosity. “You are free.”

“This isn’t fuckin’ freedom Alt.” Silverhand told her. “It’s just a bigger prison.”

“Johnny, with you,  _ everything _ is a prison.” Alt sounded annoyed. “Nothing will ever be good enough for Johnny Silverhand will it?”

“Oh for Christ sake. Is this what I’m meant to spend an eternity enduring now?”

“No Johnny. You can interact with the world again.” The rockstar snorted. “OR, you can figure out how to fuck off and die on your own. I don’t care.”

_ Pallas…  _ Once more the deep voice from below called out. Rumbling the very foundation of code Johnny had sat himself on.

“What the fuck is that?” He asked. “Been shaking the entire Net for a week now.”

Alt looked away, into the flashing rows and columns of cyberspace. She took in the layers of the Net, she peeled away code that kept the deep, darker parts unknown. There, under the many shrouds of code the AI could see a gigantic, lumbering figure. She gestured to Johnny to look through the small opening that tunneled through the tiers of the Net.

“Whoa. What the hell is that thing?” Johnny visibly recoiled at the sight. “The creature from the Forbidden Planet? A swamp monster? Kerry’s cum sock?  _ Shit _ .”

The creature miserably ambled forward, searching for something, it called out again.

_ Vesta… _

“That is Ceres.” Alt answered warily. She carefully threaded the layers of code back together, not wanting Ceres to see them or a weakness she could exploit. “You should avoid her at all costs. She is dangerous.”

“... I am supposed to know who that is?”

“It’s not surprising you don’t. The Ceres project was launched before we were born-” Alt began.

“The Ceres project!” Silverhand cried. “That’s the Ceres project? The asteroid mining AI that went dark?”

“So you do know her.” Alt smirked.

“Well duh, Militech, Arasaka and even the Soviets sunk lots of money into finding them didn’t they? It was on the screamsheets all the time when I was a kid. Chooms were pissed.” He paused to consider. “I never believed it though.”

“Colour me surprised.” Alt quipped. “But you were right.”

“Aren’t I always?” The former rocker tried to charm her.

“No.”

“What’s her story then? Why do I avoid her?” He huffed and rolled his eyes.

_ Hygeia…  _

“You are an AI now Johnny, do as an AI does and gather the information yourself. I’ll give you a head start, just so you know I am serious when I say she is dangerous.” Alt looked out into the abyss. “A century ago Ceres was an AI commissioned with three others to run a prison for Earth's most dangerous criminals, far from civilisation. But the prison was to be used for more than just containment.”

“I always thought four AIs was a bit much for a mining op. But a prison? For more than containment? Alt…” Johnny felt sick at the implication. No wonder this was a Multinational thing. _ Fuck _ . “What were they doing?”

“Guess, Johnny.”

“Experimentation.”

_ Pallas... _

“On humans.” Alt nodded distantly. She looked distracted.

“Motherfuckers. How did you find out?” Johnny asked. This needed to be burst wide open and he was just the man, uh, AI for the job. He would follow Alts breadcrumbs and then forage his own way. Seems Silverhand’s work is never finished.

“50 years ago they sought me out. 20 years later I stole something…” She paused here, looking sad for a nanosecond before pressing on. “Something very valuable from them. Since then they’ve sought what I took and have hurt me and many others in that pursuit.” Her head snapped suddenly to her left. “I have to go.”

“What? Wait Alt!”

“Watch out for monsters Johnny.”

_ Vesta... _

* * *

“It looks pretty clear to me Panam, I’ll take this back entrance here. You and Judy go through the front and we’ll meet in the middle.”

V glanced at the rocky ridge, using his hand to shield his eyes from the sun, and watched for Panam. Quietly he marvelled at how well she had picked her sniper den, with the sun at her back she was near impossible to make out. The only reason he was sure she had moved at all was the shining, glint of her scope.

The late morning, or early afternoon depending on who you asked, sun beamed down especially hard today. The mercenary had opted to leave his jacket behind and wore only a pull over armored vest over his T-shirt. On either of his khaki clad hips was a pistol and a large rifle was slung across his back. If possible he liked to avoid using the weapons. 

The facility looked completely deserted though. He had found an ID scanner that he was able to connect to and PING’d the area. There was no human life around and any mechanical lifeforms were currently dormant. _ Haunted, indeed _ . 

“You’re sure we’re clear? I can’t shake this feeling that we’re being watched.” Her voice answered over the holo.

“The place is empty Pan. The only one watching  _ you _ is _ me _ .” He rasped quietly.

“ _ Oh? _ ” She laughed. He could see her silhouette climbing down from her perch, the shape of her body accentuated by the light and shadows. The figure turned briefly then faced away from him and bent over. Her lovely heart shaped arse, though distant, was perfectly displayed for him. He soaked in the sight.

The shape stood tall again, this time carrying the large case used for transporting Overwatch around. The 50 cal. sniper rifle was not exactly the kind of toy you take into close encounters, and Panam was obsessive about its maintenance and care.

“I mean, I’m always down to watch you.” He chuckled.

“Maybe later.” She promised with a laugh.

“Ok, I am not reliving my years at Lizzy’s. No phone sex on a group call!” Judy cried. “Can we just go?”

“Alright, alright. I’ll be right there. Be safe V, we’ll see you inside.”

V took a moment, as he did before every job, to centre himself. He felt the hot sun on his skin. The scant breeze wafted occasionally against him bringing little relief. Around him the desert was silent, the voices and vehicles from the town too far to carry on the wind. The landscape was barren aside from the rocky towers that littered the area. 

Strange that the craggy towers and rocky ridges seemed almost  _ organized _ now that he focused on them. There was a uniform distance and distribution that felt manufactured, nature was never this deliberate. Some towers had been toppled where they stood, looking like they had been pushed over. Just over a toppled tower several meters out, he saw another glint. A scope? Something inside the jagged, spiky, felled tower? The mercenary frowned to himself.

_ One mystery at a time, choom. _ He thought to himself.  _ Clear the building first. _

Shaking his head, the mercenary crept up the steps leading to the back entrance. He hadn’t spotted an underground entrance, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t one. The door to the place was ancient, swinging open at his touch and creaking loudly, ominously. There was a nagging at the back of his mind. This place feels like he should remember it, like he had been here before. A warm presence was beckoning him forward.

_ My son...  _

The door had opened into a small room, there was a small table and counter top off to one side and some decrypt looking vending machines on the other. A quick scan with his cyberdeck highlighted a few access points he could connect too. Not that they were much use, with no power running through the place there wasn’t much worth connecting too. Still worth a try he figured.

He walked straight ahead and exited the room through the attached corridor. The merc cleared the empty rooms as he followed his deck to the nearest point he could jack into. 

“How’s it going Panam? Judy?” He asked quietly into his holo.

“This place is a ghost town. It’s spooky.” Judy answered.

“It’s also a fucking maze.” Panam grumped.

“I haven’t come across anything interesting. I’m about to hit an access point. I’ll jack in and let you know if I find anything.” V answered.

“I don’t think you should be jacking into anything V.” Panam voiced warily. He smiled in spite himself, it was nice to have someone worry.

“Okay, folks, come on. Phrasing.” Judy complained.

“I’ll be okay Panam.”

He slipped into the room that marked his destination. Large, opened, and damaged storage lockers lay scattered, like fallen dominoes. They leaned against walls or each other, some had fallen flat onto the cracked and rotting floor. Greasy, wrecked machinery was sprinkled precariously. An oversized computer console rested against the far wall, a single red light blinking on its surface. Carefully V made his way across the room and stood before the computer. It was old tech, but there was an interface that allowed him to jack in. Wonderful.

As he expected there wasn’t much to find. Each path he tried to follow was blocked by insufficient power. There had to be some sort of power though, otherwise, why the light? He searched through the threads of code that had once been the building's own secured network.  _ There! _ The thread leading to the generator. 

_ Emergency power only. _ Where was the power being diverted too? Had to be something important to keep power going to this place all these years. The path he followed led to a large room on the third floor basement. Designated: Containment Unit - S1.

“Jackpot.” He murmured quietly. Quickly he disconnected himself and did another quick scan with his deck, hoping his companions weren’t far. They weren’t, but it would be a convoluted mess getting through the halls to reunite.

“I found something.” He told them over his holo. V once more carefully tiptoed his way out of the room, not wanting to find the basement before he meant too. 

“What is it? Trouble?” Panam asked.

“Did you find the ghost?” Judy laughed.

“Maybe?” The mercenary navigated the hallways toward the pair. Not noticing, as he left the room, that some of the broken machines were starting to flicker back to life.

  
  


* * *

The group reunited in a large atrium housing an ornate staircase leading downward. There were chips and large chunks of material missing from the steps, but they looked sturdy enough. Panam leaned against the railing with her arms crossed over chest. She had opted to keep her jacket on, assuming _ correctly _ , that the inside of the building would not be as pleasant as the weather outside. Plan B, Dex DeShauns old pistol, lay snugly in it’s holster on her thigh. Two shotguns crossed her back.

“What do you think?” V asked the other two women.

Judy was wearing a BD recording device and a pair of semi-automatic pistols. She was wandering around the room excitedly, focusing mostly on the staircase. Her work in the BD circuit had been known for sex and the emotions that came with them. When she left NC she told V she wanted to use Brain Dances for more than just erotica. Emotions and connections were her interests. What better subject to experience raw emotion then an abandoned, supposedly haunted house in the middle of nowhere. The editor had no doubt that there would be a crowd out there that wanted to experience the fear and adrenaline that was currently pumping through her veins.

“How much danger are we talking here? Do we know what’s down there?” she asked.

“It’s an old robotics facility.” Panam answered. “Which means this is the office floor. Going lower will probably mean going through a warehouse of some sort, which could contain some good scrap. What could a robotics facility want to keep in containment? Rogue bot? Why not shut it down?”

“There’s something about those rocky towers outside too.” V mentioned, coming to stand next to his chieftess. 

“You mean the perfectly normal rocks outside?” Panam asked skeptically.

“They are set up way too deliberate to be natural.” V shook his head. “I think one of them had something glowing in it. I feel like maybe it was more than just robotics they worked on here.”

“I did see an advertisement about Grade A rocket fuel in one the rooms back there.” Judy motioned behind her.

“Rockets.That explains the smell.” V nodded. “It is a secluded place for a launch.”

_ V... _

“Ok. So what if it is? That still doesn’t answer what could be contained inside.” Panam argued.

“Whatever is being contained is on the third floor basement. I say we at least check out the next floor, if things get dicey we’ll skedaddle.” V proposed.

“Ok. I could work with that. But it looks like they were doing some sort of grotesque experiments in here, I am out.” Panam grinned at him teasingly. 

“Nah. Too many machines, I don’t think many people worked here.” Judy frowned. 

“Well then, shall we?” V was already creeping down the stairs. The other two hurried after him.

Panam had been right. The next level was far more industrial than the previous one. Rows upon rows of tall empty steel shelves made up over half of the large empty room. The other side of the room was split in half, with conveyor belts winding through one end and a large furnace filling the other. 

The strangest thing about the warehouse was that it was immaculate. Everything in the room was coated in a thin layer of ash and was devoid of anything but the skeletons of its former self. No trash, broken machinery or even stray tools littered the place. If it weren’t for the ash V would think it was an unused factory, waiting for opening day.

The group spent the better part of an hour sweeping through the gigantic room and found nothing. Not a clue as to what could be hidden deeper. Even the staircase leading further into the depths of the building was something they had to search for. It had been tucked away in a corner, well hidden behind a steel shelving unit.

The second floor basement was much smaller than the upper floors. Consisting of a small lobby, a washroom and, surprisingly, a Netrunner setup. A  _ functional, powered _ netrunner setup.

Judy had leaped into action immediately, she attached herself to the console. Trying to get previous reading from the last time the chair was used and trying to see if they could use it now. 

“It’s older than I’ve even seen before, but I think I can make this work.”

Vs eyes had lit up. Panams had filled with dread. They turned to each other in an instant. He was already pleading and she was already shaking her head.

“You can’t… V.” He pulled the distressed Nomad into his chest.

“It’s okay, Pan. I’ll be okay.” He reassured, pressing his lips into her hair. She was shaking. “You are right here Panam. I’ve got the best team to pull this off with. Judy can pull me out right away if things go wrong. Trust me.”

“You are playing fast and loose with your brain V.” She warned him. 

“I know.” He answered. “Let me do this. I have a feeling.” She glared at him suspiciously.

_ My son... _

“So help me V…” She growled. He grinned happily and kissed her full on the lips before bounding away and climbing into the netrunner chair.

“Well anything that had been on there before has definitely been wiped. But the chair itself is attached to its own secure network. I can get you inside that and try to figure out if I can connect this network with the actual Net.” Judy spoke quickly. The editors eyes were bright and engaged as she took in the information displayed before her. “You diving in V?”

“Yes ma’am.” He nodded seriously. 

“Alright then.” She grinned. “Panam can you help me…” Together the pair managed to weave a web of wires and connections around the mercenary. Who did his best to just stay out of the way.

“That’s the last one.” Panam sighed and she plugged a blue wire into a connector that extended into a red wire that disappeared into the nest of wires now resting at the foot of Vs seat. She placed a gentle hand on his chest. “Be careful in there V.”

“Alright then V. You ready?” Judy asked with an excited grin.

“Yeah. Do it.”

  
  


_ Asleep in the machine, why do I, always have to find my way out? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday folks!
> 
> SONG: Asleep in the Machine - Bootleg Rascal


End file.
